


Manuscripts Don't Burn

by Vadianna



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Force Visions, Interrogation, M/M, The First Order is not nice, Visions of the Future, casual partners to lovers, some additional tags in chapter notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:28:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 65,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28052439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vadianna/pseuds/Vadianna
Summary: During a sudden downpour, young Armitage Hux finds himself stranded with Kylo Ren. Ren refuses to give his name or position, but claims that he can see the future, and that he and Hux will become lovers. Hux, who doesn't believe in magic or love, still finds himself drawn to the attractive but delusional stranger.As time passes, Hux allows Ren into his life far more often than he'd like, and is forced to confront the idea that the First Order isn't the benevolent alternative to the New Republic that he believes it is. And Ren's visions of the future show him a version of himself that he simply doesn't want.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 125
Kudos: 205
Collections: Kylux Big Bang 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For the Kylux Big Bang 2020! My partner, and the artist for all the wonderful art in the fic, is [gaylo-ben](http://gaylo-ben.tumblr.com). I'm dead! The art is truly perfect.
> 
> The themes of this fic are loosely based on The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov, and the title is a direct quote. I originally intended to do more parallels (the first scene is heavily inspired by the novel's opening, as is the way the fic ends), but it didn't quite work out that way. Ren's visions of the future are meant to be canonverse, and are also inspired by the Jesus sections of the original novel. My apologies if I mishandled anything from the original meant to be political or cultural commentary.
> 
> Also, I deeply regret that I wasted the opportunity to include Millicent as Behemoth.

Hux had been told the planet Gan was charming, but he was rarely charmed by anything, and landscaping was far down his list. He should've known better. It was a lesson on what others found “charming,” he supposed. People who were interested in traveling to different planets, or whatever the older Imperials did with their time off. 

The city where Hux had been deployed was sparsely populated, and the residents obviously delighted in outdoor design. All the buildings were low, sprawling units surrounded by well-manicured trees, shrubs, plants, and grasses in similar complimentary color pallets. Hux was currently staring across a large pond, the surface dappled with falling mid-day rain and clumps of vegetation, flowers, and fallen red and yellow leaves from the trees that leaned out over the surface, some with branches that dipped into the water. Visible on the far side, in an artful clearing, was a small three-story building with balconies and large windows that Hux took to be a residence. It was raining heavily, and the view was partially obscured by the heavy curtains of water, the surface of the lake choppy as the big drops poured down.

If the unit was residential, it was extremely inefficient - too small to house the number of people that should have been living in the city. Hux suspected only the wealthy lived in the capital. The recruits he had been sent to collect looked miserable, and were being marched off transports rather than gathered at a location. The leaders seemed to hang on Hux’s every word, despite the fact he was a lieutenant on busy work and barely remembered their names long enough to finish a conversation.

Hux supposed he should admire the well-manicured greenery around the lake, or the carefully chosen colors, or something. But it was cold, and the torrential rain had caught him by surprise. He was freezing, wet, and sheltering in an open roofed structure. The rain was so heavy that he would be drenched within seconds of leaving, and the twenty-minute walk back to his quarters was too miserable to contemplate, even for a dry uniform. The next First Order transport set to take the recruits off-planet had been delayed, so he had several hours to kill, and he saw no reason to be more uncomfortable than absolutely necessary.

He rolled his shoulders, then leaned back on the plain bench and propped his boots onto the decorative rail of the shelter - the sides were open to the weather, and it had several types of benches, tables, and chairs. Was it meant as a place to eat? To gather? He didn’t care. It was only large enough to hold a dozen people.

As he morosely contemplated what Major Edil could find “delightful” about this place, he nearly jumped out of his skin when another pair of boots slammed down onto the rail beside his. He straightened to a proper sitting position and turned quickly, his mood worsening as he met a pair of amused brown eyes.

“Are you lost?” Hux asked after a moment spent studying the stranger’s face, managing to force his pulse back to normal. The stranger had large features, pale skin dotted with moles, and dark hair and eyes. The eyes never left Hux’s face.

“No,” the other man answered, with an enviable low voice that came from somewhere deep in his chest. Speaking called Hux's attention to his full lips, slightly crooked teeth, and the way his smirk suited him.

“Then you should try harder,” Hux replied, waving his hand to dismiss the stranger. “You are not welcome to sit next to me. Leave.”

“Why? It’s raining. I’m allowed to be dry too, aren’t I?”

“Not immediately next to me.”

The corner of the man’s mouth twitched, and he stood, raising his arms over his head and stretching. His eyes were closed, so Hux took a better look at him. He was very tall and broad, and wore a sleeveless beige shirt without much to it - low neckline, wide arms, short hem. It rode up as he stretched, and Hux was eye-level with tight abdominal muscles and the dark trail of hair that led down into his low-slung pants, which were gray, loose, and barely secured with a drawstring. They were soaked, and the weight threatened to pull them further down and reveal everything. Hux drug his gaze further up his torso. The shirt was thin and drenched nearly transparent, and it clung to his pectorals and showed off his small, pert nipples and dark chest hair. Biceps, shoulders, neck - whoever this was, he’d be able to wrestle any active trooper and win. Hux would love to watch.

The man’s eyes opened, and Hux's eyes darted from the dip in his collarbone back to his face. The other man smirked again, as if he knew exactly what Hux had been thinking. Hux refused to react, because the man obviously liked being checked out if he kept himself in such shape.

The man’s smirk widened to a grin, showing off his teeth again. “Then I won’t sit immediately next to you.”

He mimicked Hux’s accent for the reply. His own accent was Core, smooth and natural, also enviable. He turned and leaned on the low rail where they’d just been propping their feet. Hux rolled his eyes as the man’s sleeveless shirt rode up and exposed a damp, pale stretch of lower back. His back muscles were just as impressive as the rest of him. He had a deep divot running down his spine, and his low-slung pants exposed his hips and the pert top of his ass.

The man _obviously_ liked being checked out.

“You are still immediately next to me.”

“And this space isn’t big enough for two people? If you don’t like it, go sit somewhere else.”

“I was here first.”

“You’re the one complaining.”

“The lake is on this side of the structure,” Hux snapped, annoyed. He knew he shouldn’t be so petty, but the man was infuriating, and he'd barely spoken. 

The man turned back around, amusement in his eyes. “Do you like the view?”

“Not particularly." Hux scowled, ignoring the double entendre.

“Then I can stay here.” He turned back around to face the lake. “You’re in a bad mood.”

“I didn’t realize you were entitled to a warm welcome.”

“I think you’re angry that I snuck up on you.”

Hux was silent. That was true, but he wasn’t about to admit it aloud. He wondered if the man would leave if he stopped responding. He dropped his gaze from his dark, wet hair to his ass. The pants weren't flattering, but it was obvious he had powerful thighs. Hux could admit to himself that he preferred this view to the lake.

“That’s okay,” the man continued after a moment, oblivious or ignoring Hux’s hostile silence. “I’m in a good enough mood for both of us. I like the rain and the cold, and this place is beautiful.”

Hux snorted. “Must we make small talk about the weather while we’re trapped here? How old are you?”

“Twenty-two,” the other man said, turning to glance over his shoulder. “How old are you?”

Hux had meant it as an insult, but couldn’t think of a good reason not to answer. “Twenty-four,” he said sullenly. 

“Ah.”

The man turned back around to the lake. Hux was quiet for a moment, but couldn’t resist. “//Ah,// what? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I didn’t realize you were twenty-four.”

“Of course you didn’t. You’re a complete stranger to me.”

“Do I seem twenty-two to you?”

“You seem like a toddler that can’t keep his mouth closed or take a hint.”

The other man laughed. He turned and looked at Hux again, leaning on the rail with his elbows, obviously amused. “And what hint are you trying to get across?”

“That I don’t want you here.”

“You don’t?” The man glanced over his shoulder. “You said you didn’t like the view. You said you were trapped here until the rain stopped. Were you planning to sit by yourself the whole afternoon in a place you hate?”

Hux rolled his eyes again, leaning back against the bench and allowing himself to slouch again. “I had no afternoon plans, but they certainly didn’t involve you.”

The man shrugged, the effect ridiculous as he continued to support his weight against the rail. “Now they do.”

Hux clenched his jaw and looked away, determined to ignore him. But it was true he didn’t have anything to do until the ship arrived, and at least this man was better than the ass-kissing agents he’d been forced to make pleasantries with the past few days.

“Fine,” he conceded, looking back at the man. “Are you here with the First Order? To help with the pirates?”

The man grinned again, a sinister kind of pleasure lighting his face for a moment before his expression went somber. “You could say that.”

“I could say a lot of things, but that was a simple question. You could answer it with a yes or no.”

The man was utterly undeterred by Hux’s temper. “Okay, yes, I’m with the First Order. How did you know?”

Hux gestured to him. “I’ve been recruiting, and you don’t look like the other inhabitants of this planet.”

“How so?”

Hux shrugged. “Your accent is Core. You don’t possess the cringing fear that the Gan recruits have in common.” Hux considered, hating to give the man more of a compliment, but continued anyway. “And you look more like a soldier. More well-fed.”

That made the man laugh. “ _Well-fed_. You can say you like my body, it’s okay.”

“That’s not what I said. It was an observation, and I’m right. I’ve seen a lot of the Ganarians the past few days. They do not look like you.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Recruiting.” Hux gestured in the direction of the capital’s spaceport. “I work with the new recruits in the stormtrooper program. Specifically, initial indoctrination, and the first rounds of programming.”

“You’re a recruiter? I thought recruiters had to be nicer.”

“I should say sorry to disappoint, but I’m not. I can be nice when I need to be.” Hux held the stranger’s gaze. The man's eyes were still amused, but his expression had gone serious again. “You are already recruited. And I’m not a regular recruiter. I just know what to say to people. I’m here as a courtesy to the Gan government. They did their own recruiting this time.”

“It sounds like you don’t want to be here.”

Hux hadn’t said that, and was impressed the man had picked up on it. “No. Showing up to hand off Troopers is a waste of my skills.”

“Your skills? The ones you use to indoctrinate? Do you mean brainwashing?”

“It’s not _brainwashing_.” Hux leaned forward, agitated. “Right now, I'm meant to deliver a welcome message to anyone entering the program, letting them know our goals, and that they are part of something larger that’s meant to do good. We take care of them, and they will help us take care of others, including the places they come from.”

The other man whistled, low and mocking. “That sounds very noble.”

“I should have known,” Hux snapped. “You sound enough like a Republican. They’re always on about us being kidnappers. I don’t have to take this treason from you.” Hux stood, prepared to walk through the rain to escape the man. To his surprise, the stranger stopped him with a broad hand to his chest. Hux glanced down at his arm, incredulous, then back into his face. The other man was frowning.

“Don’t leave. I didn’t mean it like that. I just wasn’t expecting to be handed the official line, after I told you I already signed up.”

“It’s much more than the official line,” Hux replied hotly, pushing the man’s hand away. The stranger's skin was hot, despite the rain. “It’s true. It’s what we do.”

“Says one of the brainwashers.” The man put his hand up again, stopping Hux. When Hux tried to push past, the man used more force, enough to stop Hux. “Look, okay, whatever. I didn’t mean it like that. Obviously all that means a lot to you.”

“It _means a lot to me,_ " Hux repeated, mocking him. "I told you, I’m in charge of the programming.”

The other man sighed, looking frustrated, but left his hand on Hux’s chest. Hux allowed it. The sullenness suited the stranger better than the smirking had.

“Look, I know everyone you work with probably agrees with you.” Hux opened his mouth to object, but the stranger kept talking, speaking over him. “But you have to know that not everyone agrees with…” He squinted, then said “ _indoctrination_ ” in a tone of voice that Hux resented.

Hux sat back down. “Of course they do. Why else would they join the First Order? Why did you?”

The other man tipped his head to the side, looking less frustrated now that Hux had sat down. “I’ve seen the groups of prisoners that the Ganarians are surrendering to the Order. Do you think they’re going willingly?”

“They aren’t prisoners,” Hux protested, his stomach twisting. He would think that too, if he didn’t know better, and it was always difficult to defend. “That’s against the terms of the agreement. We only take willing recruits.” He paused again, trying to rationalize the appearance and demeanor of the recruits. “The Red Risk Pirate attacks are affecting the shipment of food and dietary supplements into the system, and there are famines. The Ganarians have been holding recruitment drives, and ending the famines is part of the message.” Hux shrugged, his face heating. “I understand that it isn’t exactly noble to recruit famine victims by telling them that we’ll feed them, but we _can_ feed them. And we will take care of them, once they join.”

The other man looked very grave as he stared out across the lake to the residential building, the wind pushing against his damp hair. “Have you spoken to any of the recruits?”

“Yes, of course. I’ve been delivering the usual welcome messages.”

“No.” The stranger turned. His eyes were serious now, and Hux didn’t look away. “I mean, have you actually talked to them? Asked them why they joined?”

Hux frowned. “No, not directly. But their recruiters tell me what cities they’re from, and how the famine has impacted-”

“Yeah,” the other man murmured, his shoulders stiffening as he glanced away. “So you haven’t seen any of the other cities either, just this one.”

Hux paused. “No, I wasn’t interested, and they didn’t offer.” Hux mulled over what the stranger was trying to tell him. “Are you saying the Ganarians are violating the terms of the agreement? That they’re forcing people to join the First Order against their will?”

The other man glanced back, leaning with one arm against the rail. He looked annoyed. “You mean the agreement where the First Order won't help with the famine unless the planet surrenders one hundred thousand recruits and a percentage of their annual duranium mining?”

Hux frowned again. “It’s not like the campaign against the Red Risk Pirates is easy. It will take time and resources to stop. The ore is fair payment, and we can use it. And as I said, it’s not the purest of motives, but famine victims are easy recruits, and we need all the help we can get.”

The other man held his gaze for several moments, then turned away again. “May the First Order prosper. Long live the Supreme Leader.”

It was how each morning’s automated Address to the Order ended. Every member was meant to salute and repeat the line as the recording ended. The reminder seemed strange. “What does the Supreme Leader have to do with this?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all,” the other man murmured. 

He was silent after that, and Hux paused, listening to the rain cascade around them. It had grown even heavier, and the residential building was only barely visible through the curtain of water.

After a long and awkward pause, Hux tried to continue the conversation. “So what are you doing here, exactly? You aren’t recruiting. And you don’t look much like a pilot.”

The other man’s amusement returned. “How do you know I’m not a recruiter or a pilot?”

Hux rolled his eyes once again, crossing his arms in front of his chest. The temperature was dropping, and he was growing more unpleasantly chilled in his wet uniform. “Must we go through this again? You look like an active duty soldier. I know what recruiters and pilots look like.” He gestured up and down the man’s body. “Not like you. You aren’t wearing a proper uniform, either.”

The stranger grinned, looking Hux up and down ostentatiously. “You’re wearing the casual duty uniform,” he murmured, meeting Hux’s eyes again. “But you look a little… disordered. Muddy. You don’t seem the type to let yourself go like that.”

Hux bristled at the insult, sitting up straighter. “You are wearing _sweatpants_. In public. And course I look like this after getting caught in the storm, I fell down the bloody slope to get here-”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, I didn’t say it was bad,” the stranger put out his palms in a placating gesture, leaning a hip against the rail. “I like the way the uniform looks on you. But I’d like the way it’d look on the floor even more.”

Hux’s mouth fell open at the unexpected, brazen innuendo. “// _Excuse me_?//”

“Was that too subtle? Maybe you couldn’t hear me over the rain.” The man looked completely unapologetic.

“I’m certainly not interested.” That wasn’t entirely true, and Hux felt the color rise in his face as his gaze betrayed him, dropping to the man’s waist, then paused briefly on his transparent shirt on the way back to his face. “And how do you know I don’t prefer women?”

The man leaned in, one arm braced on the armrest of the bench. “I guessed.” He leaned in closer, their faces a breath apart. “Correctly.”

Hux tensed, then licked his lips, his gaze going between the man’s mouth and his eyes. He’d never been picked up so aggressively in his life. Most people that knew him wouldn’t bother, and he likewise wasn't interested in them. When he wanted a pickup, it was always an anonymous one-night stand, and Hux always initiated it. 

Still. The man was his type. It was hard to find someone this fit in a pickup bar, or working as an escort, because someone who looked like this didn’t need Hux or people like him.

It had also been some time since Hux had had sex.

He glanced away, then back at the man’s eyes. He had an afternoon to kill, and he would never see this man again.

“All right,” he finally admitted. “You did guess correctly.” The stranger didn’t move, didn’t close the distance or back off. There was tension, a kind which Hux wasn’t particularly enjoying. He shook his head, planting his own hands against the man’s chest. He couldn’t help but notice how solid he was.

“Why didn’t you just say you wanted sex,” Hux scoffed, trying to lighten the mood. “It would have saved a lot of fucking time.”

The other man smiled, more genuinely this time. It was flattering, and lit his face in a way that affected Hux. Hux shifted on the bench, trying to dispel the awkward mood that lingered between them. He allowed that the man was attractive. He supposed that was good, if they were about to fuck. That would be nice for him.

“I did want to pick you up,” the man said, leaning against the rail. “But unless you want to fuck in this gazebo, we have to wait until the rain stops.”

Hux glanced over the rail at the thick curtain of rain, annoyed all over again. “If you’ve got lube in your pocket, I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

The man sat back down next to him, his thigh pressed to Hux’s, his arm slung over the back of the bench. It was more casual than Hux liked, and he inched away.

“Good to know,” the man said. “That’s exciting. I’ll remember that for next time.”

“ _Next time_ ,” Hux said incredulously. “We’re strangers. We’ll never see each other again.”

The man shrugged. “Nah. We’ll meet again. The other reason I didn’t come out with the sex first was because I wanted to get to know you better.”

Hux made a derisive noise. “I’ll stop you there. I don’t do second chances. I’m not going to give you my comm code. Whatever you’re hoping to get out of this, it’s only going to be me inside of you.”

Hux wasn’t sure how the man would take that. Hux did the fucking, and wanted to get that out quickly. But the man smiled again, more muted this time. “I want that, yeah. But I was also looking for the love of my life.”

Hux burst out laughing. It was quick, but when he glanced over, the man’s brows had drawn together, and he looked annoyed again. “Oh, you were _serious_. How can you say something like that with a straight face?”

“What’s so ridiculous about wanting to get to know you?”

“I told you, I don’t do seconds. And besides, love is just a myth.”

“Mmm,” the man responded, slouching lower on the bench and stretching his boots back to the decorative railing. His arm was still draped across the back, and Hux could feel the heat from the stranger's skin through the thin, damp layer of his uniform shirt. “You think love’s not real? That’s because you haven’t met me yet.”

“ _Please_. I already agreed to have sex with you. You don’t have to try this hard.”

The stranger turned to look at Hux again, his expression serious. “What’s so mythical about love?”

Hux made a noise of dismissal. “It’s a matter of devotion and trust. Both can be violated so easily, there’s no point pretending to give them. And those who claim to be deeply in love are just sick codependents. Most people can function just fine on their own, but are less effective with a _loving partner_. If you want someone to talk to, after-shift drinks are companionable enough.”

The man faced the lake again, not seeming to have an opinion either way about Hux’s stance. In Hux’s experience, only lovesick fools took offense. Most of the cadet officers worth working with had agreed with him, when the subject had come up over drinks.

“So love isn’t real?” The man asked, his voice still neutral. “Next you’ll tell me you don’t believe in magic.”

Hux let another bark of laughter through his defenses, but once again he turned to see a serious look on the stranger’s face. He didn’t particularly care about offending him, but he had to admit, he hadn’t had a conversation this amusing in a long time. And Hux was still planning to fuck him. The afternoon was looking up.

“Of course I don’t believe in magic. Do you believe in the dimensional spider that spins chaos into the fabric of the universe, too?”

The man’s eyebrows rose, though his expression remained aggressively neutral. “The good thing about magic is that it’s real whether you believe in it or not.”

“Is it?” Hux was the one grinning now, and he turned toward the man, dragging his knee onto the bench, his arm draped over the man’s bicep. “Are you going to prove it to me? I’ll believe you when you make it stop raining.”

The man cocked his head, then turned to look out into the rain, his face finally betraying annoyance. “What about the powers of the Jedi?”

“Jedi powers? Those were a lie perpetuated by the Jedi Order to maintain their position in the Republic. It was a good lie, though. It worked for ten thousand years. I respect the Jedi Order for that, at least. Imagine how many people we could recruit if we claimed we gave children magical powers.”

Hux laughed again, but it seemed to upset the man further. His voice tightened as he continued. “You aren’t wrong about some of that. But the Jedi’s powers were real. The Emperor only claimed they were a lie to discredit the survivors after he destroyed them.”

“Are you going to tell me you’re a Jedi now?” Hux asked, still extremely amused.

“I was.” 

The man held Hux’s gaze, and Hux realized he was serious, and completely delusional. His eagerness to continue the afternoon wilted into disappointment, and his temper sharpened. “Care for a demonstration of these powers, then? Or did you not get far enough into your training with your ancient Jedi Master?”

“The Jedi training didn't stick, no. But I have a new master now.” Hux stiffened and pulled away. The man only leaned closer, his gaze intent. “You want a demonstration? I’ll show you, magic is real, and you are the love of my life. I’ll prove it.”

Before Hux could respond by breaking the man’s arm and fleeing, the man threw his hand up, his fingers on Hux’s temple. Hux began a shouted protest, but felt something yank hard against him, as if he’d had his feet pulled out from under him and hit a concrete pad. Except he was sitting, and there was no concrete, and he’d hadn’t fallen but-

* * *

  
_Hux was overwhelmed with the sensation of being inside a helmet - the sound of a breathing apparatus, the feel of his own humid breath, and a digital display that was similar to the inside of a stormtrooper helmet, but different enough to be unknown to Hux. He was walking through a room, and it took Hux a moment to realize it was the front room of his father’s suite on the Star Destroyer_ Absolution _, but different. Different furniture, cleaner, less useless Imperial regalia, no carpet. Hux’s body was sore. His hands, knuckles, and arms all stung. His thigh throbbed painfully, badly enough for him to wonder if he’d taken a blaster bolt without armor on. He refused to limp, that would be weakness. Hux was confused - he didn’t care about limping in a room by himself, but somehow he_ did, _and it mattered very much. He couldn’t dismiss the thought, it was overwhelming and foreign. He also attempted to stop himself from moving forward, and couldn’t. Somehow, he wasn’t under his own control. The thought made him uneasy. Had the stranger truly brainwashed him?_

_He pushed open the door to his father’s office. Hux cringed in what was left of his own thoughts. He never went into his father’s office willingly, it never ended well. But what he saw through the helmet was incredibly strange._

_His father was bent over the desk, looking much younger and more put-together than Hux had ever seen him. Not even holos of Brendol looking this good existed - Hux had never seen them, and his father would have shown them off at every opportunity._ _It took him a moment to realize that this younger version of his father was wearing his First Order General’s uniform, and not the Imperial uniform he would have had at this age._

_It was wrong, there was something deeply wrong about this. Hux could feel his heartbeat increase, his chest tighten. But it wasn’t fear that was causing these reactions, and he couldn’t look away from his father._

_“You,” his father said without looking up. Hux braced himself in his thoughts, but not his body. He could feel himself growing warmer, more excited. “When will you learn how to use a comm?”_

_“When you learn some respect,” his body responded, shocking Hux further. He would never say such a thing to his father, even now. But Hux wasn’t saying it. They weren’t his words, and it wasn’t his voice. It took him a moment, but he finally recognized the stranger’s voice, deep and resonant through the helmet._

_His father looked up from the desktop holodisplay, annoyance written across his features. Except it wasn’t his father, he realized with a shock. It was himself. Older, maybe ten or so years older. Wearing the uniform of a First Order general, and living in his father’s quarters, clearly absent his father. Hux was inside the stranger's mind, the man in the gazebo on Gan._

_The implications were horrifying. Had something terrible happened? Had he somehow been brainwashed? For years? He began to panic, but whatever was happening was compelling, if only because it was so completely unexpected, and Hux seemed to have little control over what was happening._

_“Take that ridiculous thing off,” the other version of himself snapped at the stranger, turning back to the holodisplay, his gloved hands moving rapidly to dismiss the layers of whatever he’d been working on._

_The stranger complied silently, and Hux felt the seals on the helmet hiss as the functions blacked out and he lifted it off over his head. Hux wanted to see what it was, why it was so different from what he knew of a regular helmet, but the man didn’t look at it, just tucked it under his arm._

_“Will you tell me why you want to see my face?”_

_General Armitage Hux turned to look at the stranger, incredulity written across his features. “Because I like to see your face, obviously. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here.”_

_“You wouldn’t tolerate me?” The stranger dropped the helmet, and it made a noise as it hit the ground. He winced, both himself and the version of himself in front of the stranger. He could feel the tightness in the man’s chest moving lower, down his abdomen and into his groin. He was clearly expecting something out of this meeting._

_“I tolerate much from you.” General Hux - General Armitage Hux, and not Brendol, which would have pleased him under other circumstances - stood and stepped closer to the stranger, pulling a glove off with his teeth and tucking it into his pocket. He brushed his fingers through the man’s hair, and he could feel his own fingers against his scalp, the tangles as he pulled on knots, the gentle touch he used to tuck some of it behind the man’s ear. He was so gentle, though his own expression betrayed nothing. The stranger’s scalp was sensitive, and he felt every caress of his own fingers magnified. He leaned into his own hand, and he felt himself cup his own cheek._

_“But if I only tolerated you, you wouldn’t be here.” He felt his thumb brush his own face, catch against the rough stubble on the stranger’s unshaven cheek. “Did you go to medbay?”_

_“How do you know I need it?”_

_“I can smell the blood on you.”_

_“Not mine.”_

_General Hux wrinkled his nose. “Barbaric. Are you lying to me?”_

_“No.”_

_General Hux looked the stranger up and down, and he could feel the stranger's arousal coil more strongly, low in his belly. It was an odd sensation, almost off-putting, to be so attracted to himself, but there was no way to stop it from happening. Just the sight of General Hux was exciting this stranger._

_General Hux put a hand to his chin in consideration, then his hand darted quickly down. For a moment, he thought he was grabbing for the stranger’s cock, but instead, his hand fell against his thigh, to the spot that hurt the worst. The stranger hissed and jumped, pulling away from General Hux's touch, annoyance rolling through his thoughts and quashing some of the arousal._

_General Hux raised his eyebrows. “You were lying to me.”_

_“No,” the stranger replied. “I’m not bleeding. Blaster bolt. It’s cauterized.”_

_“Fuck’s sake, Ren.” General Hux stepped closer, his hands dropping to the stranger’s - Ren’s? - belt and pausing there. "I wish you wouldn’t come crawling to me like an injured animal. I’m not a med tech.”_

_Ren inhaled a shaky breath, resting a hand on General Hux’s shoulder as the General’s fingers began to work at the buckle. “Please, Hux,” he murmured, his arousal rushing back as he clenched his hand tighter around General Hux’s shoulder. “I. I need-”_

_General Hux glanced up into Ren’s face. Ren was struggling with words. He wanted to tell General Hux that he needed to see him, that he was so exhausted and bone-weary and broken, and that Hux was the only good thing in his life._

_General Hux’s expression, Hux’s own face, softened. “Very well. Don’t beg. I’ll take care of you here, but you will go to medbay when we are finished.”_

_“I want to sleep first,” Ren added sullenly as he put his arms out, allowing Hux to remove his tunic. He hissed as the fabric clung to wounds around his wrists._

_General Hux took in Ren’s expression, then examined Ren's wrists, fingers once again gentle. “I won’t send you away without sleep. We’re beyond that now, aren’t we?” Ren’s wrists throbbed with something worse than muscle pain, and as Hux watched himself examining them, he saw scar tissue and fresh singe marks braceleting both wrists, especially heavy on his right hand._

_General Hux’s expression went carefully neutral again, and Hux recognized that he was trying to hide his thoughts from Ren. “You were out personally again, weren’t you?”_

_“What else is new?”_

_“I wish you weren’t plunging your sword into their bodies yourself. Haven’t you done enough of that?”_

_“Killing innocent people? Never enough of that.”_

_Ren was bitter, and a dark look flashed across General Hux's face. Hux was angry on his own behalf, and he waited to hear what General Hux had to say in his defense, that Ren’s remark was only misplaced bitterness, or some sort of lie that Ren believed. Maybe Ren was a traitor? Treasonous? Was Hux now involved in something that would damage the First Order?_

_But General Hux only sighed and peeled off Ren’s gloves and undershirt, bearing Ren’s chest. “You have people to command that can do that for you.”_

_Hux felt Ren clench his jaw and force a sudden wash of harsh temper back. Hux was surprised by the spike of rage - it seemed almost irrational, given what Ren had been feeling up to that point. It was almost dangerous, though Ren seemed to suppress it quickly enough, and thought nothing of it. Did it simply happen that way, in the privacy of Ren’s own mind?_

_“If I let someone else do it for me, it will lose all meaning, Hux.”_

Hux _, not Armitage. No one called him by his surname because of his father. Hearing it rang strange in Hux’s ears. In whatever this was, he had his father’s office, his uniform, and his name. It was everything Hux wanted._

_But… why show him this?_

_General Hux glanced back up into Ren’s face, but said nothing. He then crouched lower, pulling the stranger’s boots off._

_Was Hux now a general of the First Order, and also Ren’s servant? Was he somehow under Ren’s power? Was that what the stranger was showing him? But General Hux seemed mostly indifferent to the indignity of removing Ren’s boots, and was more obviously annoyed by his comment._

_“Perhaps rather than meaning, what you lack is perspective. Commanding others will help you gain it.”_

_Ren backed away, suddenly dangerously angry again, and less willing to suppress it this time. Hux felt it as waves through his entire body, an almost sickening sensation. Hux had never been this angry about something in his life, and he’d learned long ago to carry grudges to his grave. This was an offhand comment about command. Why was Ren so furious?_

_“You’re the one without perspective. You refuse to see what we’re doing.”_

_General Hux crossed his arms in a gesture of frustration Hux would have never allowed himself in front of another person. His neutral expression also cracked into exasperation. “Ren, I can endure another one of your treasonous tirades, and I can explain why you’re wrong. Again.” Hux was again surprised when General Hux's expression shifted for a moment into something that almost appeared tender before hardening into neutrality again. “But is this really what you want after your mission?”_

_The anger ran from Ren as abruptly as it had before, and Hux could feel his tense muscles relax with the relief of it. Ren remained wary in the wake of his outburst, and clearly did want to pick a fight with General Hux. But he was tired, and Hux could feel that he missed the general, and that he wanted the comfort of his company and his bed._

_Hux could also sense the chill of the room on Ren’s body, which was now only clad in tight, high-waisted pants. Ren was apparently taking no notice of it, but Hux was further baffled that he would be willing to fight General Hux nearly naked and with very little provocation without being absolutely humiliated. There seemed to be little shame in Ren, none that Hux could sense, though he searched for it._

_“No,” Ren said simply, stepping forward to bring them close again. “I want you to clean me.”_

_“Clean you?” The incredulous look returned to General Hux's face, though now he was beginning to remove his own uniform. “I’ve already undressed you. Am I your servant now, prince?”_

_Something about the prince comment struck a nerve in Ren again, but he once again suppressed the anger. “Yes. Even if you won’t admit it.”_

_Before General Hux could say anything else, Ren surged forward to kiss him, reaching inside his open tunic and wrapping his hands around General Hux'_ _s waist at the same time. His thumbs caressed the warmth and softness of his middle, even while his fingers dug harder into the general's back. General Hux's hands went to Ren’s chest, pushing firmly as if in rejection, but after a moment they slid lower, and his fingers played along the extremely sensitive skin of Ren’s nipples - Hux was shocked by the sensation, his own nipples weren’t nearly so responsive._

_Ren moaned into General Hux's mouth, a hand moving lower to cup his ass as he brought them closer together at the waist, Ren grinding a near-instant erection against General Hux's thigh through their pants, as if he was a teenager. The arousal Ren felt at this contact was near-instant and overwhelming, his thoughts alive with want, the vague tensions and stress from whatever he’d been doing on his mission bleeding away, replaced with his desire for General Hux, long-suppressed. Ren was nearly overwhelmed by the very idea that General Hux - General Armitage Hux, Hux himself - was in his arms after so long, and that Ren could enjoy every part of him._

_Hux was overwhelmed himself by wave after wave of Ren’s desire crashing into him, by General Hux’s cold fingers against his nipples, by the simple pleasure Ren received merely from grinding his cock against General Hux’s thigh. Hux had never desired anyone like this, had never been so aroused in his entire life. It was dizzying, and he was almost grateful that Ren had closed his eyes, that Hux wasn’t looking into his own face while their mouths - which Hux couldn’t even think about, he never kissed - came together, sharp and nearly violent, Ren’s tongue inside General Hux's hot mouth tasting the bitter taurine tea he’d been drinking even at this hour. General Hux forced Ren's tongue out as his teeth found Ren’s lower lip and bit down. The stranger’s lips had been quite nice, Hux recalled, though he’d wanted them around his cock. General Hux, however, nearly consumed them, pushing his own tongue past Ren’s teeth, Ren sucking on it and not letting it go, even as General Hux made an attempt to pull away._

_It was too much, and Hux wasn’t sure what to focus on. Was this foreplay? Why did Ren feel this so intensely? Hux used foreplay to get a sense of his partners, to fondle their cocks and explore their bodies, to build them up physically in his own mind before he took his own pleasure with them. General Hux was doing little but giving Ren attention, and Ren seemed nearly beside himself._

_A sharp pain at Ren’s chest as General Hux pinched his nipple finally broke the long embrace, though Ren kept a hand at his waist and around his ass. He was breathing heavily as if it had physically drained him, and his cock was fully hard against General Hux’s thigh. Ridiculous. Hux could feel it throbbing, could feel how badly Ren wanted General Hux's hand on it._

_“Down,” General Hux murmured against his lips as he stepped back, continuing to remove his uniform. “You won’t make it to the ‘fresher at this rate.”_

_Ren had no answer to this, but was frustrated by the slow, methodical way General Hux removed his uniform. He stepped forward to pull at the fastenings of General Hux's suspenders and trousers, only to have General Hux step away again._

_“If you want me in the ‘fresher with you, my boots need to come off before my pants. Don’t be so eager.”_

_“I am,” Ren replied, again unashamed. To Hux’s astonishment, he kneeled, sitting back on his bare feet and gesturing to his thighs. “But if that’s the way you want it, let me take off your boots.”_

_General Hux studied him, even as he undid his suspenders and began pulling his undershirt from his trousers. “What a kind offer, Ren. Look at you, on the floor for me.” General Hux's voice had gone quieter, and his tone and words struck something deep and very nearly painful in Ren’s chest. He set aside his uniform, now clad only in loose-fitting trousers and his knee-high regulation boots, polished to an immaculate shine._

_Ren closed his eyes, and he felt General Hux's fingers in his hair again, stroking his scalp with fingertips, then caressing the back of Ren's head with a palm. General Hux’s lips were suddenly at Ren’s ear, voice soft, breath warm against his skin. “Are you in the mood to take orders, Ren?”_

_“Yes,” Ren confirmed, his voice steady, anticipation lighting what felt like every nerve in his body. He kept his eyes closed to heighten the sensation. Hux nearly felt dizzy with it, again struck with the strength of Ren’s desire, so foreign to himself._

_General Hux's mouth left Ren’s ear, and his voice took on a sharper tone, one Hux recognized as what he used to give orders. “Spread your knees.”_

_Ren’s hands were bunched on his thighs, and obediently, he spread his knees._

_“Open your eyes and look at me properly.”_

_For some reason, this amused Ren, and he smirked as he opened his eyes. “Like what you see, General?”_

_Ren’s voice was light and mocking, especially on the word_ General. _General Hux's neutral expression firmed into a more disappointed frown. “I won’t tolerate impertinence.”_

_“You always do.”_

_“Not today.”_

_General Hux's tone sharpened, and Ren closed his eyes again, body going nearly rigid as he tried anticipating General Hux's next touch. When it came, Ren jumped, but Hux was even more shocked - it was the square heel of General Hux's boot running gently up the length of Ren’s erection._

_This seemed like a humiliation to Hux, the type of thing he might have nightmares about. The fact that Ren not only enjoyed this, but somehow goaded a version of Hux to do it to him, was baffling._

_Ren’s enjoyment overrode Hux’s shock and confusion, and his cock throbbed painfully as he enjoyed General Hux's attentions. Ren bit his lip to keep from making a noise, but leaned back on his hands to give General Hux easier access. General Hux switched briefly to the pointed toe of his boot, using more pressure, then audibly set his foot back to the floor._

_“Tell me why I shouldn’t crush your filthy cock under the heel of my boot, just as you deserve.”_

_This sent another thrill through Ren, and he sank his teeth into his lower lip to keep himself from reacting. He took a moment to collect himself, then straightened, resting his hands in his lap again and closing his legs._

_“You won’t do that," he replied, amused. "You like my cock even better than I do. Want me to get it out for you?”_

_General Hux’s expression darkened again, obviously disappointed. “I thought you said you were in the mood to follow orders?”_

_Ren rolled his bare shoulders in a shrug, growing even more amused. “As much as I ever am.”_

_Hux didn’t understand why General Hux was tolerating this. If Hux had encountered a sex partner as difficult as Ren, he would have simply walked out of the room and left him._ _But the interactions between Ren and General Hux seemed familiar in a way that was foreign to Hux. Did this version of Armitage Hux keep Ren as a partner? Was Ren's anticipation of his touch indicative of something between them?_

_It was confusing, but the look on General Hux’s face suggested that whatever was happening here was mostly one-sided, the arousal all in Ren's mind._

_General Hux stretched one foot out, resting his boot in Ren’s lap. “You are being particularly vexing tonight. Lick it.”_

_“No.” Ren almost laughed, but he forced himself to keep his expression grave as he wrapped a hand around General Hux’s ankle. “I’m not going to lick your boots."_

_General Hux shifted to balance more steadily on one leg. His expression had gone bored, almost disaffected. “You’re the one that likes getting stepped on, Ren. You might as well lick them, if you enjoy being so subservient.”_

_Ren slid a palm under the sole of General Hux's boot and lifted it. He examined the leather for a moment, then ran his hand gently along the sole, somewhat incredulous that it was clean, and marveling at the fact that the officer-issued boots didn’t have any tread. Then, very deliberately, Ren laid his lips against General Hux's ankle, holding his gaze as he did so._

_“I'm not subservient,” Ren mumbled into the leather of General Hux’s boot. “We’re equals. You know that.”_

_General Hux’s face reddened, and he looked nearly shocked. Hux didn’t understand what had just passed between them, but in a moment, Ren had General Hux’s boot off, and was reaching for the other. General Hux nearly stumbled in his haste, leaning forward and bracing his hands against Ren’s bare shoulders as Ren yanked it off his foot._

_The trip to the ‘fresher was a blur after that, with socks, trousers and underwear being yanked off along the way. Hux struggled with the idea that a version of himself was this impatient for sex, and so eager to get into a shower with someone else. He’d never done that before. It was confusing, especially after the last exchange. Did General Hux enjoy this? Did he actually like what had happened between the two of them? Had it turned him on?_

_Ren’s hair trigger emotions were also a mystery to Hux, but one that was easy to accept as foreign to him. But it was hard to watch a version of himself - older? - interacting like this. What was going on in his own head? Hux should know, but didn’t, and was growing increasingly frustrated watching this unfold._

_Ren’s mouth was all over General Hux’s body, the greenish light of the ‘fresher unflattering on Hux’s own pale skin. But Ren didn’t seem to notice or mind, sucking a mark low on General Hux’s neck where it would be hidden by his collar, tracing his tongue along his collarbones, running a thumb along the scar that ran low along General Hux's hip, in an identical place on Hux’s body, an incident when he’d been stabbed during a combat training course. Something that the stranger on Gan couldn't have known about._

_The room began to fill with steam as General Hux activated the controls on the sonic shower, selecting the water over the steam cleansing. It was an unconscionable waste of resources, especially as neither of them had stepped into the stall yet. General Hux’s hands were chiefly occupied with Ren’s hair - pulling, tangling it around his fingers, holding his head in place and guiding it around his body. Ren allowed this, but bit harder when his mouth came to rest, causing angry red welts across General Hux’s chest, down his side, on his soft middle._

_Just as abruptly as all this had begun, Hux was shocked when Ren scooped General Hux up by his ass, effortlessly carrying him into the spray of water. General Hux seemed unsurprised and unbothered by this display of strength, and he kissed Ren again, his mouth crushing against Ren’s lips, using his teeth to nip at Ren’s much-abused lower lip._

_When Ren sat General Hux down again, there was a brief, confusing moment when he closed his eyes to clearly picture the ‘fresher stall door, then a foreign twinge of sensation through both his body and thoughts as he stretched out his hand, followed by a strange slamming._

_Hux didn’t have time to think about this, because when he opened his eyes, it was to his own face, his hair soaked and falling long down his face and neck. General Hux's expression was-_

_It stopped Ren’s heart, and Hux himself nearly panicked, trapped in Ren’s thoughts as he was. General Hux had leaned forward to kiss Ren again, eyes closed, and Ren cupped his chin in his hand, holding him for a moment to take in his expression, heart aching._

_General Hux's expression was very nearly tender, flushed and pinched tight with want. Ren’s heart tightened in his chest, and he felt nearly hopeless with desire as he leaned forward to kiss him again._

_Why had he looked like that? Had Hux ever made that expression before? Is that what his partners saw, when they were together? It was almost humiliating._

_It pleased Ren immensely, who crushed their lips together in a kiss that was more tongue and less teeth, pulling back briefly, murmuring almost too quietly to hear against General Hux’s lips._

_“I love you.”_

_General Hux leaned forward again, kissing him almost gently, briefly. “I know,” he replied, opening his eyes. Water ran down his face, and his expression was more peaceful now, his blue eyes moving across Ren’s features, a hand coming up to push Ren’s hair out of his face._

_Ren loved him. Hux remembered the stranger saying as much, before this had begun. It was why this Ren felt the way he did, why he felt so strongly when General Hux’s face showed his feelings so nakedly._

_So, was this a fantasy? Had the stranger - Ren? - somehow brainwashed Hux, and was conveying this fantasy to him? It wasn’t dissimilar to how the psychoprogramming worked, though Hux was almost disappointed in the stranger’s efforts, now._

_Still, this was all so_ vivid _. The stranger’s arousal, the details of Hux’s face, the scar that he couldn't have known about. Hux had never felt like this before, so how was the stranger dredging up such things in Hux’s mind? How would Hux know his own face looked like this? Why would he be capable of even entertaining this fantasy? The most effective psychoprogramming built on the subject’s existing beliefs and fears. Hux neither believed in or feared this._

_It was impossible. And yet._

_One of Ren’s hands had stayed on General Hux’s ass after setting him down in the shower, and his fingers had slowly worked their way deep, the hot water slicking his way. Hux cringed as the tips of Ren’s fingers found General Hux’s asshole and began circling it gently._

_He expected General Hux to flinch, still, trying to map his own reactions onto the man even as part of his brain told him that this was the stranger’s fantasy, that this version of himself wasn’t him. General Hux didn’t react, even as Ren’s index finger began to probe deeper, pushing past the tight clench of General Hux’s muscle._

_General Hux’s mouth found Ren’s ear, hot and wet and drenched with the water that pounded wastefully from the fixture. “Are you just going to play with that, or were you planning to use it tonight?”_

_Ren’s hand paused, and his eyes closed against the spray of water. He scraped his stubbled chin against the sensitive skin of General Hux’s neck before his own mouth found General Hux’s ear, sucking the lobe between his lips thoughtfully for a moment, Hux sensing he was hesitating before responding._

_“Can I? I've been thinking about it for days.”_

_Ren seemed slightly embarrassed by the request, but a hot thread of arousal pulled through him even as the question left his mouth, his aching and still-untouched cock throbbing at the very idea._

_Hux was appalled. He couldn't believe there was any version of himself that allowed this. Hux simply refused to be fucked. If this was a fantasy the stranger was attempting, it would end here._

_It didn’t. He felt General Hux’s hands squeeze hard, where he was gripping a handful of Ren’s chest and cupping the back of his head again. When Ren opened his eyes, it was once again to gaze into that same adoring, impossible expression. It was right in front of him, and Hux still didn’t understand how he could look so foolish, so_ smitten _._

_“Do I mind?” General Hux asked, and Ren’s chest lit with emotion again at the sound of his voice, the sensation that was not arousal, but simply his feelings for General Hux, his love. All of Ren’s emotions were intense to the point of being absolutely alien to Hux, but this was the one that made him nearly sick. Ren felt it more than anything else, and the feeling combined with his fatigue and the heat of the water nearly made him weak._

_“I don’t mind,” General Hux continued after a moment, studying Ren’s face. “I had hoped for it, in fact. I may have… indulged this morning, in your absence.”_

_Ren was almost shocked. “With your fingers?”_

_General Hux’s eyebrows rose. “No, with a trooper. What do you think?”_

_Both explanations - that he would finger his own asshole, that he would allow a trooper to fuck him - seemed equally impossible to Hux. But the feeling in Ren’s chest only grew, making his stomach clench on the strength of it._

_“Hux. I love you, I do, I can’t-”_

_“Quiet,” General Hux ordered, pulling Ren’s head against his shoulder and holding it there. Ren closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Hux’s chest._

_“Fine,” Ren muttered, forcing himself to calm down, reminding himself that General Hux knew, that hearing it aloud embarrassed him._

_The sympathy, the knowing of this, humiliated Hux. How could Ren know this version of himself so well? How would he ever_ allow _this?_

_After a moment of being held, Ren opened his eyes and raised his head, shielding himself from the spray and looking over to the shelf with various cleaning products. Hux spotted his own usual bottles, the standard First Order-issue, along with several foreign, colorful bottles of conditioner, shampoo, and skin treatment. Why was that there? Why would he need two types of product? The ‘fresher was part of the suite, and Hux shared it with his father when they were both aboard ship. But they both used the same products, so there was only ever one of each bottle. Why would Hux need two types, in a situation where his father clearly didn’t occupy the suite anymore?_

_Ren didn’t seem to find any of it unusual, and he spotted a bottle of waterproof lubricant - in the ‘fresher! Why would Hux keep such a thing there? - that he snatched and opened with a thumb, perfunctorily squeezing some onto his other hand and spreading it with his fingers._

_General Hux remained still as Ren resumed his probing, his fingers broaching General Hux’s ass with more confidence and purpose now. General Hux remained still, hands on Ren’s chest, and took a breath as he very obviously forced himself to relax, allowing Ren’s fingers deeper inside him._

_Ren made an indistinct noise in his throat, amused by something. “You really did do this to yourself while I was gone. How often?”_

_“Not often,” General Hux replied, his voice sharp, his expression pinched as he closed his eyes. “But you were gone an exceptionally long time.”_

_“I missed you,” Ren murmured, head once again against General Hux's shoulder and eyes closed as he experimentally added another finger. General Hux inhaled against his ear, his hands tightening against his chest._

_“I didn’t miss you,” General Hux responded in a petulant voice, and Ren was even more amused. General Hux clenched around his fingers suddenly, also pushing against his chest. Ren pulled back, confused._

_“Enough of that,” General Hux ordered again, face exceptionally red, looking uncomfortable. His hair was soaked through, the product long since washed out, and Ren noted that it looked very red in the light of the ‘fresher. Hux was appalled by the observation, as he thought he looked like a fool._

_“I want you inside me. I can’t imagine you have much more patience. Normally you’re begging me to touch your cock by now.”_

_Ren was uncomfortably hard, and had been almost since laying eyes on General Hux in his uniform. But he only chuckled, glancing down between them._

_Hux recognized his own cock, erect and flushed with arousal, as he would have expected. But the sight of Ren’s cock next to his own almost caused him to panic. Ren’s cock was the largest he’d ever seen, almost comically so. It was currently pushed up into Hux’s stomach, lying thick and nearly purple against his pale skin. He’d had the foreskin of his cock removed, and Hux realized Ren truly must be Republican as he examined the naked head as it leaked against Hux’s stomach._

_Ren reached down, wrapping a hand around both cocks and giving a few perfunctory pumps. Hux had a suspicion that Ren’s hands were quite large, especially when they’d been wrapped around his own body, but he’d thought General Hux had lost weight, or he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to judge. But Ren’s hand around both their cocks, his own large erection and Hux’s own, put his scarred hands into proper perspective._

_Ren closed his eyes as he forced his arousal back down once again, the sensation of stroking himself and touching Hux at the same time embarrassingly overwhelming. Hux thought of an inexperienced teenager again, and wondered just how or why Ren felt this_ strongly _._

_Ren wrapped one hand around General Hux’s waist, who was now bracing himself against the wall of the ‘fresher, bending slightly to give Ren better access, as if this was something that happened all the time. Hot water still pounded down on both, and the angle was still too awkward, but Ren guided himself inside General Hux with one hand, going slowly, savoring the pressure. The effort of not simply fucking into General Hux as hard and fast as he wanted was almost too much, and again Hux was struck by how different Ren’s experience with a partner was from his own - he never wanted to fuck anyone this badly, never enjoyed it this much, never worried so excessively about his partner’s comfort or about hurting them. Either someone wanted his cock or they didn’t._

_General Hux reacted very little to this, though Hux was analyzing his body almost as thoroughly as Ren. He was tight, something that was flashing through Ren’s thoughts like a klaxon, though not overly so, implying that he was at least somewhat familiar with this. He made no noise, his body did little except attempt to adjust to the angle._

_After a moment, General Hux did turn around, glancing over his shoulder, his hair too long and almost unrecognizable when out of its style. His expression was yet one more thing on the list that Hux was failing to understand. Flushed, unfocused eyes, brows drawn together, he looked as if he was actually enjoying this._

_“Faster, Ren. You won’t break me.”_

_Ren didn’t reply right away, taking a moment to collect himself before nudging his cock the rest of the way into General Hux’s tight, hot ass. It was clearly what Ren wanted, something he’d been wanting, and he kept repeating some sort of meditation through his mind, trying to distract himself from General Hux._

_He pulled out and pushed in again, more sure this time, still trying to order himself to control, reminding himself not to let General Hux - not to let_ Hux _, not Armitage - goad him into hurting him._

_“Hux,” he said aloud instead, the tender tone of his voice causing Hux himself confusion again._

_“Kylo,” General Hux answered, looking over his shoulder again, and Hux could feel Ren’s chest tightening at the sight of his face. Hux hoped he’d never made this expression himself - vulnerable, almost tender. They were emotions that were unknown to him, certainly nothing he would allow himself in front of another person. As strange as having a cock up his ass and wasting water without comment._

I love you _, Ren thought but didn’t say aloud, mouthing the words instead, worried that General Hux would admonish him and ruin the moment._

_“Kylo Ren,” General Hux said, still looking with one eye over his shoulder. “What am I to do with you?”_

* * *

Hux opened his eyes, and was too overwhelmed to react to the fact that he was back in his own body, in his own present, trapped in the downpour on Gan with the stranger. The man was cupping Hux’s head in both hands, his face too close to Hux’s. As his thoughts snapped quickly back into place, he realized that he felt the residual effects of Kylo Ren’s arousal tainting him. He was overwhelmed with it, the heat through his body and the tight sensation low in his gut, as he stared into the stranger’s eyes and raised his own hands to cover the large ones cradling his chin.

“What was that?” he asked shakily, feeling almost a stranger in body and mind. He licked his lips in a nervous gesture he’d unlearned as a cadet. He was close enough to lick the other man’s mouth.

The other man.

“Kylo Ren,” he repeated. The man nodded.

“You’re Armitage Hux,” Ren confirmed, though Hux had never told him his name. “That was a vision. I have them sometimes, of the future. They’re gifts of the Force. You’re always in them.”

Hux didn’t want to think about that. He’d never felt this way before, the way Kylo Ren had in… whatever he’d just seen. He’d never felt so attracted to someone in his life. Physically, but also somehow… _connected_. He didn’t do that. It wasn’t who he wanted to be.

He didn’t want to think about that, either, so he leaned forward and kissed Ren.

He didn’t kiss. He should have incapacitated this man, Kylo Ren, who was either delusional or a liar who thought Hux was a gullible fool. Ren had tried the psychoprogramming on Hux and told him it was _magic_ , as if Hux didn’t know how the programming worked.

And yet, Hux still wanted him like he’d wanted few other things in his life. No amount of telling himself otherwise could stop that.

Kissing Ren’s mouth was just as good in reality as it was in the hallucination. He sucked on Ren’s lower lip, held Ren’s hands against his face and felt the callouses on his palms, so much coarser than any of the other combat specialists or pilots Hux had met. Ren’s mouth was hot, and Hux allowed his tongue in his own mouth, because why not? He even allowed it when Ren’s hands slipped from his face and went lower, pulling Hux into his lap. He stretched his legs around Ren’s muscular thighs, nearly kneeling as he paused for breath and continued.

Hux lost himself, closing his eyes and wrapping his hand in Ren’s rain-damp hair, holding the back of his head, and maybe what he’d just seen _had_ been his fantasy, because Ren was grinding up into his lap now, and Hux was allowing it, was allowing Ren’s mouth to move across his cheek and down his neck, the casual uniform he wore for recruiting didn’t have the high collar.

The heat of Ren’s body through layers of wet clothing, the firmness of muscle and flesh beneath him, was something that Hux couldn’t properly appreciate in the hallucination, and made this even better. With his eyes closed, the sound of the rain pouring around them blended with the spray of water in the sonic-

Hux’s eyes snapped open, and he pulled back, pressing his palms against Ren’s chest. It was the shocking wastefulness of that water that finally brought him back to reality. A reality where he still wanted Ren, wanted Ren in a very physical way, was sitting on his lap and hard in his pants.

 _Dangerous_.

“No,” he muttered, still close enough to Ren’s lips to lean forward and continue. Ren tried, and Hux sat up straighter, trying to force the arousal from his mind, just as Ren had done in the vision. Ren had been better at it. “No. I will not.”

“What,” Ren muttered, his voice low and annoyed. “Was the vision not clear enough?”

“The vision.” The wording of that, as if it had been real magic and not just some trick, made it easier for Hux to disengage from this madness. From the _want_. It was irrational, and there was a voice in his head shrieking that it was also wrong, that he needed to leave before Kylo Ren did anything else to him. 

He needed to stand up. He needed to escape the gazebo and walk through the downpour back to his quarters. The cold rain would clear his head and make him see the truth of whatever this man had done to him. 

“It’s not real.” He forced himself to scowl. “You think I don’t know all the tricks to making people believe something? The future isn’t something you can see.”

“I can. I’m magic.” Ren was scowling too, but his face remained alarmingly intent, and his eyes hadn’t left Hux’s. Hux still felt pinned by them.

“Magic isn’t real.”

“But I am.”

Hux tried to stand, but Ren stopped him with a hand at his waist. Hux, still overwhelmed by his hands, allowed this for another moment. Ren’s other hand fumbled into Hux’s large trouser pocket. Hux told himself he didn’t want a handjob from Kylo Ren, that he needed to stand up and leave.

But Ren’s motives weren’t that, and he withdrew Hux’s pocket comm, thumbing the small screen and bringing up the biometric scanner. 

He met Hux’s eye again, looking furious. “Leave. But you’ll remember me.” He drew out his own pocket comm, and pressed Hux’s thumb into it to register him as a contact. Hux let him. 

Ren continued, stowing both comms again. “I’ll comm you. That won’t break your rules about sex with the same person twice, will it?”

The reminder of what Hux had told him moments ago - or had it been minutes? Or hours? The light was the same, but it felt like a lifetime - was unwelcome, and it caused his heart to kick in his chest. But it made him angry enough to stand, to push himself out of Kylo Ren’s lap.

“Kylo Ren,” he repeated, backing up to the rail and staring at the other man, who looked the same as he had when he’d sat down - slovenly, drenched, and amused. 

Annoying. Impossible. He’d devastated Hux.

“Remember me,” Ren replied, smirking again, though this time it didn’t reach his eyes. “We’ll see each other again. I promise.”

“Is that even your real name?”

“Real enough.” Ren shrugged dismissively, then turned to stare out into the trees. “The rain’s let up. If you really need to leave, you can go now. Don’t fall down the slope this time.”

Hux backed down the two steps to the wet grass, staring at Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren crossed his arms over his chest, but didn’t look at Hux again.

Hux left in a hurry, shaken, confidence robbed, his boots squelching through the mud and well-tended grass.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The interrogation scene happens in the vision of the future. Nothing terribly graphic, though it is fairly canon-typical (some pain and fear), and ends in canon-typical violence. You can skip the vision if that is not for you.

The reality of Hux’s appetite was an annoyance. He could ignore hunger, but not the related physical symptoms of malnourishment. There just weren’t enough hours in the day. So it was that he wound up in the junior officer mess, shoveling whatever he had been given into his mouth with one hand and browsing his datapad with the other, reviewing lessons for the tech courses he had enrolled himself in.

As someone who was involved with every facet of designing the day for stormtroopers, he knew that the hours allotted for mess were seen as necessary socialization, meant to decrease stress and form bonds with others in the organization. It worked well for troopers, and he noticed with disdain that none of the other officers commented or even noticed that they were being manipulated the same way. When Hux took a meal, he spoke to no one and sat by himself, and everyone stayed away. He knew what it looked like. But it gave him time to pursue other interests, like the tech courses.

So he jumped nearly a foot when someone spoke right next to him on the bench, breaking his concentration.

“I told you we’d meet again.”

Hux barely reigned in his temper as he met the eyes of of the man he’d met planetside nearly three months ago, the one he’d wanted to take to bed. Kylo Ren.

He hadn’t truly expected to see the other man again, especially in the junior officer’s mess. He blinked, trying to push down his surprise. “What are you doing here?”

The man shrugged, gesturing to a tray heaped comically high with food. “Eating. What else?”

Hux shifted away from him, deciding this would go easier if he let himself be angry. “You know perfectly well what I mean. Why are you eating _here_? And before you get bloody smart, I mean on this ship, with the officers, in a restricted area.”

Ren didn’t break eye contact. Hux felt his face heating as the scrutiny went on a moment longer than necessary. 

“I missed you,” Ren finally answered, seeming sincere as he began to shovel some of the processed nutritive root paste into his mouth, still without looking away from Hux’s face.

The response was so ridiculous that Hux could think of very little to say, aside from pointing out the obvious. “This is a military vessel with restricted access! This is an officer-only section of the ship, and you are…” Hux trailed off, looking the man up and down. He was wearing no obvious uniform, just a short tight-fitting tunic over a long-sleeved black shirt. It looked something like a pilot might wear, but not one who worked with the First Order. “Are you really a member of the First Order? Even if you are, you couldn’t know where I was, I-” _never even told you my name_. Hux hadn't, but Ren had known anyway. Not Armitage, but _Hux_. As if Brendol didn't exist. Ren had been the only person to call him that willingly, without being forced with protocol or a blaster.

“I know your name," Ren said immediately, grinning, obviously pleased that he'd guessed what Hux would say. "And you know mine. You never forgot it.”

Hux wanted to protest, and couldn’t. He hadn’t forgotten Kylo Ren’s name, and had thought about him nearly every day since Hux had left him on Gan. It was because Kylo Ren was the perfect masturbation fantasy. Hux had assured himself that Ren hadn’t been nearly so alluring in person, and that time had exaggerated his memory. Hux had left without fucking him, but he’d certainly wanted to, and it seemed unfair now that everything about Kylo Ren still hit so viscerally - his shoulders, the tight fabric that stretched over his arms, his broad chest, his perfectly pullable hair, and even his low voice. He’d barely spoken, but Hux had imagined that voice murmuring _Armitage_ in his ear as he jerked himself off, and it was haunting him now.

Ren continued to answer Hux’s questions between mouthfuls of food. “I am a member of the Order. And I do have high clearance. I was on a mission near the _Absolution_ , and I knew you were here, so I wanted to see you.”

“And I suppose you knew I was here because you’d seen the future, and I welcomed you with open arms and a cheerful hello.”

Ren laughed, and it sent prickles over Hux’s skin. “No. You aren't the type. Are you?”

“No. And I don’t think we need to continue this conversation. Take a seat elsewhere.”

“Why?” 

The way the man ate was hypnotic. He’d finished his root paste and was now tearing into the processed meat strips with his teeth. Juice was running down his chin. It was disgusting. Hux had an urge to lick it off, and was disappointed in himself.

“Because you are not welcome here.”

“So?” Ren rolled a shoulder, then continued tearing into his meat.

“Most of the officers know to stay away from me.”

“So you don’t have any friends.”

“I don’t need friends. I need coworkers, and I need people who aren’t looking to kill or disgrace me.”

“Friends can be that.”

“If friends are so useful, go eat with yours.”

The man paused, looking into Hux’s eyes again, and something else crawled across Hux’s skin. Very casually, Ren began eating again, swallowing a mouthful of food before he spoke. “My friends didn’t want me to join the Order. I killed them.”

Hux sighed, laying aside his own spoon. “What am I supposed to do with that?”

“I don’t care. But you should know that about me.”

“What? That you’re so devoted to the First Order that you were willing to kill to get a position? You wouldn’t be the first.”

“Hmm. Well, it wasn’t the First Order I joined first, but definitely someone who works here.” He’d cleared nearly half his plate. It had looked like nearly three full portions. Hux’s stomach tightened at the excess.

“This is a very charming story, Kylo Ren, but I need this time to catch up on work.”

“What work?”

“Can’t take a hint?”

“You aren’t giving me hints, you’re telling me to leave. And the answer is no. I can sit where I want, and talk to whoever I want. You’re the one that’s making it a conversation.”

This was true, so Hux turned back to his datapad. But Kylo Ren was too distracting. Hux could practically feel the heat of him against his side, where they were sitting too close together. Hux imagined Ren on his knees on the mess floor, a hand twisted in his dark hair, his own cock shoved deep into Ren’s mouth. Hux imagined how those lips would wrap around the shaft, how Ren would be very clever with his tongue. Hux imagined how he would listen to Kylo Ren beg for more.

This was a bit more dominant than his usual fantasy, but it helped balance the memory of… whatever it was that Ren had done to him, the psychoprogramming. Hux tried not to think about the contents of that hallucination. He’d submitted a blood sample immediately to screen for toxins. He'd asked them to check for the psychoprogramming cocktail, and anything else that could be used to incapacitate and influence. His tests had come back negative, but Hux didn’t have another explanation for what had happened to him.

The memory of the hallucination haunted him. Before, his fantasies had been utilitarian and faceless. He liked giving blowjobs, and that was usually enough to get him off. But everything about sexual fantasies involving Kylo Ren was disturbing - that Ren was performing on him, that he was treating Ren so poorly, that Ren put up with it and wanted more. Hux had become addicted to the idea of Ren sucking his cock in a way he knew was unhealthy. He needed to have sex with a real person to banish them, but an opportunity hadn’t presented itself.

But Kylo Ren was here, now.

“We can do that, if you want. I’m almost done with lunch.”

Hux whipped around, eyes narrowed. “Do what?”

Ren was smirking, even as he continued to consume the last of the food on his enormous plate. “I can see your thoughts, if I want. But I don’t have to look hard, because I can also sense how much you want to have sex.” He took another bite, slowly, his eyes not leaving Hux’s. “You do. A lot. You’re not thinking about anything else.”

“I’m taking extracurricular tech courses,” Hux snapped, humiliated, gesturing to his datapad. “I don’t appreciate having my mess time interrupted. I use it to study.”

“I didn’t think you were much of a scientist.”

“No, I’m not. I’ve only had the most basic courses in cadet training. I was- My father is head of the training program, so I was always going to be assigned there.” He had never had a particular opinion on this, though he and his father loathed each other. Hux was also unwilling to give up the quarters he shared with his father, which was one of the _Absolution's_ luxury command suites. If he’d been assigned elsewhere, he’d have nothing but a bed in a tiny room with three other junior officers. “So I only had the sociology and propaganda programs before I graduated.”

“And you were good at it,” Ren said, looking interested, attention shifting between Hux and his plate.

“The best,” Hux confirmed. “Top of the class. And I’m helping shape the program based on the culture of the areas we enter. Messages that take into consideration planetary culture help improve intake, retention, and lifetime loyalty.”

Ren made a face. “So you’re the best brainwasher.”

“You’re the one that killed your friends to get here.”

Ren shrugged. “So you’re doing great. Why the tech courses?”

“My father… the General, doesn’t appreciate the new changes, and we-” Hux paused, not caring to get into this. “We don’t get along. Acquiring another set of skills will be necessary in the future.” Hux toyed with the corners of his datapad, not knowing why he even admitted that much to a stranger. “I need to stay in the training program for now, because recruitment really is the most important thing in the First Order. We need bodies before anything else. But step two is weapons.”

Kylo Ren’s hand stilled as it went to his mouth, and he turned to look at Hux. “What about weapons?”

“Almost everything we use is Imperial-era technology. We need innovation if we’re going to fight any sort of war. And what’s more, if we’re going to win against an opponent as rich and well-established as the New Republic, the weapons have to be revolutionary. The war has to be quick and decisive, because any long-term conflict will end with us losing. So the weapons need to be competitive.”

“And I suppose you’re the savant that’s going to develop them while you break recruitment and brainwashing records.”

Hux should have been annoyed by Ren’s rudeness - you just didn’t say that to people. But instead, he found it a refreshing change. Clearly Ren had some sort of rank, and still cared very little about what others thought about him.

“No. But taking the classes puts me in touch with others who are interested, which might be the best shot I have. There are no research and development programs right now, and we rely on outside tech when we do get something new. I want to know who has talent, and I want to direct it. And yes, I want to learn about weapons.”

Ren was stabbing the remnants of his food and moving it around his plate. His demeanor had soured, and he was hunched over the table now, not looking at Hux.

“Do you know what my mission is?” he finally asked, instead of any sort of praise or acknowledgment of what Hux had just shared with him.

“No,” Hux replied, more annoyed now. “That’s why I’ve asked. More than once.”

Ren grinned. It lit his whole face for a moment, but was gone when he turned back to his plate. “I’m on the team that’s handling Jannitav.”

“Oh. Then you’re preparing the mining areas for the Ugnaughts.” That was almost disappointingly mundane. It also didn’t explain why Ren had clearance to the _Absolution_ , or the junior officer’s mess.

Ren made a derisive noise. “ _Preparing_. You say that like we’re not killing every living being on the planet.”

“The purge?” Hux shifted. “Unpleasant, but necessary. They rebelled, and they have to go. You understand that any leniency just leaves room for future rebellion. We can’t afford another petty ground war with a planet that should be an ally. We’re better off having our own people there. Even removing the current rebels from the planet and moving them elsewhere causes problems.”

Ren glared at him. “Funny, that’s what I hear every morning before we go into the towns. Did you write those briefs?”

Hux did not, but he knew who had. He didn’t think Ren actually wanted to know. When Hux hesitated, Ren pushed his plate away and stood up, still not looking at Hux.

“I killed too many people today to listen to this.”

Hux turned back to his datapad, uneasy. It was borderline treason to complain like this, they reconditioned Stormtroopers for less. Hux wondered if Kylo Ren was a trooper captain. It might be worth looking into.

“You just told me you killed your friends to join the First Order.”

“ _Look_.” Ren’s voice was sharp enough to make Hux glance up again. He’d closed his eyes, and was obviously upset, trying to calm himself down. After a moment, he opened them again, and looked down at Hux, a softer look on his face. 

“I wanted to see you again. I was hoping we could relax together. Do you want to?”

“ _Relax together_? Right now?” Hux was incredulous. He glanced around, wondering if anyone had overheard Ren’s casual proposition for a lunchtime fuck. “Did you imagine we’d use my bed? I share a suite with my father, he’d see us enter in the middle of the day from his office.” Hux would rather die.

“No. I was thinking of something else. Are you coming?” Ren held out a gloved hand. The glove wasn’t from an officer’s uniform, or a trooper’s. His hand was large, and Hux had imagined them all over his body. 

Hux understood immediately. Something else, meaning quick and out of the way. He licked his lips, then glanced back into Kylo Ren’s face. This was a terrible idea. He shouldn’t. He needed to study. He had no idea who Kylo Ren was, and he could be setting Hux up for humiliation or leverage.

Well. He wasn’t ashamed of desiring someone who looked like Kylo Ren, nor anything else about sex, really. And Hux never fucked the same person twice, so Ren wasn’t going to get more than an afternoon out of this, anyway. And perhaps this would help Hux focus - once fucking Ren was no longer a fantasy, he could stop thinking about it.

“Fine,” Hux agreed tersely, pushing his own tray away and hitting the button for the droid cleaning service, eyeing the wasted food on Ren’s tray in distaste. He gathered his datapad, ignored Ren’s hand, then gestured him forward, following him out of the junior officer’s mess and into one of the crowded main halls of the _Absolution_.

After following Ren through several turns through less-utilized hallways, Hux found his silence unnerving. 

“So are you with the trooper units planetside? Are you a captain?” That didn’t quite make sense, because a trooper captain wouldn’t have access to the junior officer’s mess. But nothing about Ren made sense.

Ren glanced over his shoulder, looking amused. His posture loosened, and he slowed his steps to walk closer to Hux. “No. Not a trooper. Wouldn’t you have recognized me?”

“Do you think I know every trooper in the Order?” Only Cardinal was that pathetic, it was a useless skill to have. But of course his father praised his pet trooper captain excessively, often, and in front of Hux for the skill.

“I didn’t realize that was a sore spot.”

Hux glanced over in surprise, then frowned. “It’s not,” he said, slowly, wondering what had given his anger away. He’d worked hard to control his expression and body language as a child. Maybe he was growing lax, or slipping. Of course Kylo Ren would do that to him.

“No. I told you, I can read your mind.”

Hux rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to try so hard, I’m already going to fuck you.” He paused. “You must be a fighter pilot, then.”

“No. You won’t guess.”

“Well…” he wasn’t an officer. “A tech? For the AT-STs? Or some other operator?”

“I can do all of that,” Ren grinned over at him. “But no. I’m…” he frowned, his mood darkening again. “I’m doing the killing more directly.”

Hux sighed, confused by Ren’s volatile moods, and why he was even indulging Ren. This was too much work. “Then just tell me what you do.”

In response, Ren stopped and put a hand out to a small service door near one of the main shocktrooper advanced training facilities. Hux knew it was storage for equipment and weapons. He wondered what was happening, if Ren wanted in the closet for some reason-

The door made a horrible grinding noise, then wrenched awkwardly sideways, looking much the worse for wear. Hux gaped, not able to control himself, looking at the damaged door, then at Ren.

Ren only looked sad. “I told you. Magic is real. The Jedi were real.” He hooked an arm around Hux’s waist and pulled him into the storage closet. The small space had barely enough room for both of them to stand. A dim overhead light activated when they entered. As Hux blinked, surprised, Ren put his palm out again, wrenching the door closed behind them.

Hux stared a moment, then turned to Ren. “Impossible. I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I,” Ren replied, low and entirely too close to Hux. Hux was pressed between the broken door and Ren’s big body, the breath knocked from his chest. He wanted to protest - he didn’t kiss his partners, he didn’t fuck in supply closets like a cadet - but when his hands came up to push Ren away, one stroked his bicep, and the other went immediately to his hair, his fingers tightening in Ren’s dark curls.

Ren made a noise in his throat just as Hux surged forward to kiss him, and Hux swallowed the sound as Ren opened his mouth and Hux tasted him for the second time. The few times Hux had kissed, it had been savage nonsense with biting, or a brief peck, barely contact between the two of them. But kissing Ren was different. It felt like Ren was eating him alive, though the kiss was slow and sensual, each taking their time with the other and enjoying the kiss for itself. It set Hux alight, and he made an effort to steady himself even as he kept repeating that he didn’t kiss, that he didn’t like it, that he hadn’t been thinking about this for three months.

Ren pulled away, studying Hux’s face, and Hux felt ashamed and exposed by his own eagerness. He opened his mouth to say something cutting, but nothing came to him.

“The Force is real. You can call it magic if you want. It’s easier to understand that way, but learning it is the same as specializing in science or physics. To an outsider, it’s incomprehensible, but it can be known. It’s in everything. It _is_ everything. You just aren’t seeing it.”

“So magic brought us together,” Hux managed, sounding disdainful, despite the fact that he’d just seen Ren rip a door off the track with little more than a wave of his hand.

Ren considered him, the corner of his mouth twitching. “I guess. I don’t think the Force brought us together, but it did show you to me.”

Hux wanted to something dismissive, but couldn’t manage it. Ren was earnest, and Hux’s stomach tightened as he realized that he might be out of his depth. Ren was far too intense for this to be a simple hookup, and Hux had never met anyone as confident or seemingly dangerous as Ren. Hux wasn’t easily intimidated, but what could he do if Ren became a problem? He wouldn’t be as easy to eliminate as a petty officer. He would leave more of a scar on Hux than anyone else had.

When Hux remained silent, Ren reached up to caress his cheek gently with his gloved fingers. At the same time, sensation bloomed in Hux’s stomach, arousal so powerful it winded him. He clenched his eyes shut and hunched forward into Ren, unable to stifle his moan.

The strength of it didn’t make sense, but the simple explanation was almost too humiliating to ask aloud. Still, Ren had been the one who had spoken of it.

“Magic,” Hux managed, his voice sounding weak.

“It’s nice,” Ren replied, and Hux opened his eyes again to see Ren looking satisfied. His hand shifted, and he rested several fingertips against Hux’s temple, his warm palm against Hux’s cheek. “But you still don’t believe me. Or don’t want to. Do you want to see another vision?”

Hux emphatically didn’t. But before he could protest, he _fell_ again, and-

* * *

_Hux was looking at himself again, and it was still uncanny. He knew now that this was Kylo Ren, that he was seeing something that Kylo Ren believed would happen, however he managed to grant the vision. Hux could still distantly appreciate his own general’s uniform - he didn’t look much older than he was now, but he did look tired and strained. General Hux's pinched expression indicated that whatever was currently happening between them was unpleasant, as did the obvious surliness he could feel from Ren. Whatever this was, Ren didn’t like it._

_“Ren,” he heard himself say. “I know how you feel about this-”_

_“And you don’t care,” Ren replied, bitterness washing through him. “You’re going to make me do it anyway.”_

_General Hux studied him, his expression unchanging, his posture straight and unrelaxed. “Yes,” he finally replied. “Though I can hardly_ make _you do anything. Either you will do this, or you won’t.”_

_Ren put a hand over his face, and Hux could feel how unsettled he was by whatever was to happen. The regret was foreign to Hux. He never hesitated when he needed to do something, be it a speech or killing someone that needed killing. As the version of him had said, either you would do something or you wouldn’t, and Hux didn’t understand what was causing Ren to hesitate like this._

_“You’d still ask me,” Ren began, and uncovered his eyes, pinning General Hux with his stare. “Knowing how it affects me? We can’t do this any other way? Those useless fucking strategists can’t come up with a real way to win?”_

_Hope bloomed in Kylo Ren, who believed that either the appeal to the Order’s capabilities or General Hux's own sympathy for Ren would change his mind. Hux knew himself, and knew that Ren's belief in his sympathies was misplaced, and he would never hesitate to ask someone to do their job. But to Hux’s surprise, he saw himself hesitate, his expression soften. General Hux stepped forward, reaching for Ren’s face with his gloved hand, then dropped it._

_General Hux held Kylo Ren’s penetrating stare, though he kept the same placating look on his face. “Yes. I’m asking you. I don’t see how else we can do this. We’ve exhausted the other strategies. They keep retreating Ren, you know that, and we’re losing so many soldiers, and territory, and…” General Hux trailed off._

_Ren’s hope died, crushed abruptly to ash. Oddly, resignation rather than rage or resistance took its place, and he dropped his gaze, his hand going to a metal cylinder on his belt, squeezing it so tightly his hand ached._

_“Don’t give me the speech,” Ren said, turning away from General Hux. “I’ve heard it before.”_

_Hux felt General Hux's hand on Ren’s arm through the thin sleeve of his shirt, though Ren didn’t turn to look. “Would it help to know I meant it this time?”_

_Ren’s anger surged now, mostly directed at General Hux. He shrugged, feeling betrayed. “Do you ever?”_

_Before General Hux could say anything, Ren hoisted a helmet he’d held in his left hand, curled at his hip. Hux once again didn’t see it, something that would have identified Kylo Ren’s place in the Order, before it fell onto his head and his vision filled with the unidentifiable HUD inside. It was so unlike trooper helmets - everything limned in red, the language set to High Galactic for some reason, and even the numbers were values that Hux couldn’t match to functions. One was perhaps temperature, another might be motion detection? He could hear Ren’s heavy breathing through the filter, and felt the anger closing in. But Ren paused before another door, closing his eyes._

_Hux thought at first he was trying to calm himself, but he only grew angrier as…_ something _happened. Hux felt it, and it was unlike anything he’d sensed in his life. When Ren opened his eyes, his vision seemed to warp in front of him, and he pushed through the door, still with an ambiguous fury that seemed directed at nothing in particular._

_Hux didn’t understand what was happening - was Kylo Ren heading into a battle? More of the villager purges that he hated so much? The interior looked like one of the large transports, but vastly different, newer and more updated than anything the First Order currently used. Perhaps it wasn’t, and they were in some sort of on-planet facility?_

_The room Ren entered was obviously an interrogation room, though Hux had never seen one himself. Much of the equipment was unrecognizable to Hux, but the deactivated probe droid was obvious enough, and the operator’s area in the center was unmistakable._

_Hux’s nonexistent stomach clenched. Oh,_ fuck _. Was Kylo Ren a member of the Internal Security Bureau? The interrogators? Hux was… Hux was_ fucked _. They investigated internal affairs, and tended to look into crimes committed within the Order. Hux had been interrogated by them twice himself when his close and unfriendly associates turned up dead. It was twice too often. He’d had a simple interview both times, but at the end of the second, the ISB Officer had informed Hux that coincidences didn’t happen a third time, no matter how disliked the deceased was._

_Hux had simply made people vanish after that, and watched his back. If Kylo Ren was an Internal Security officer, they’d probably found out about one of Hux’s extracurriculars, and this was some sort of extended psychological torture. Not only should Hux not be fucking Ren, if they’d gone to so much trouble to snare him, Hux needed to go AWOL immediately. His life was forfeit. He needed to get away, needed-_

_His thoughts ground to a halt when he saw the person in the interrogation chair. A girl, maybe fifteen, secured using all the straps, including the one across her forehead. She looked as if she’d put up a fight, wherever she’d been pulled from - she was filthy and wet, and wearing jungle fatigues that made Hux think she wasn’t with the First Order. She had tiny yellow leaves stuck in her matted brown hair, and mud covering her boots and the knees of her pants. She’d sustained blaster injuries, and others. Her eyes were closed, and she had a medical drip leading into her arm._

_Ren paused at her side, revulsion washing over him. His anger flickered, along with… something, some sensation that Hux couldn’t place, something that was making all of it infinitely worse. But Ren dismissed his revulsion, telling himself that he’d been ordered to do this. He grew angry again, and whatever Hux was seeing - sensing? - strengthened. He could see the girl, but also… there was something overlaying her, some grayness. Hux had no words for it, but Ren getting angrier had somehow made the sense of this confusion clearer._

_Ren put a gloved hand to the girl’s temple, and he felt a sharp tug somewhere near his hand, and a flick of concentration from Ren. The girl gasped, and her eyes opened. Unable to move her head, she rolled her eyes to Ren, and Hux was suddenly aware that she was terrified. So terrified he could taste it, could_ see _and perceive it as much as the fact that her eyes were an orange-yellow that indicated her ancestors weren’t all human._

_“I told you everything,” she insisted, in heavily accented Basic. “I said it all. You gave me…” she clenched her fist, indicating the arm with the IV. “-this, so I tell the truth. You have all of it. Please, no more.”_

_Kylo Ren tucked a lock of stray brown hair behind her ear, and took a step back. “You told me nothing. I asked you where the rebel bases were on Glorianus, and you told me_ the jungle _. You told me the locations where we’ve already found your rebels. I want to know who the spies are, and I want to know where the rest of the garbage is hiding.”_

_Ren’s voice came out flat and inflectionless through the speakers of his helmet, to the point that he nearly sounded bored. The girl was shaking now, her terror mixing with despair, both possessing unique flavor and sense. Hux would have been sick with it, had he possessed control of his body. “I don’t know. They don’t tell me, it’s not safe. I said everything I know, you said I could go to prison with my friends, that they would be okay if I told!”_

_“I didn’t say that,” Ren clarified, walking around the back of the interrogation chair. “They told you that when you were arrested.”_

_If this girl was being interrogated, her friends were probably dead, though they’d continue to use them as leverage if they could. Awful, but Hux knew it was necessary. As was Ren’s more aggressive questioning now. Hux understood why Kylo Ren had not wanted to do this._

_“You’re the one who knows what I need. You’re the leader of the Rebels. Or were, until we caught you. And there will be another after you.”_

_“I don’t know!” The girl burst out. “I was only leader for ten days! Since you killed Trel! I said, we don’t have a lot of details, in case this happens! I don’t know who comes after me, and I don’t know the spies! Only a few people know each piece. It’s safer.”_

_Kylo Ren paused, and Hux could sense something about him feeling out the girl’s terror. He felt the sensation of Kylo Ren carding through it, looking for something else. “I think you do know. I think we asked you the wrong questions, and you chose to cover for your rebel scum friends.”_

_Ren kicked a lever on the floor, and the girl’s chair lowered, reclining her backwards. He crouched, to put the girl at eye level with his helmet. He draped his hands between his thighs, his posture casual, his mood still angry and dangerous._

_“I don’t need to ask the right questions,” Ren stated, his voice even flatter now. “I can take whatever I want. It will hurt you. I’ll ask you one more time, and if you won’t tell me-” He raised his hand to the girl’s temple. “I’ll look. And I’ll take everything you know.”_

_The girl’s began to breathe more heavily. She had twisted her head as much as she could to see Kylo Ren, her eyes barely on him. But Hux could feel her terror, still strong, along with another distinct sensation. It had been what Ren was looking for before - her resolve. He seemed satisfied when he found it._

_“No,” the girl said. “I’d rather die.”_

_Ren sighed, then stood, looking down at her._

_“No, not quite. But you will wish you were dead when I’m done with you.”_

_There was a sensation of Ren_ pulling _against the girl’s resolve, harder than before. He was angry, angry at her defiance, angry at all the problems she’d caused. If she’d cooperated, if the rebels had only gone away peacefully, like Hux and the other said, she wouldn’t be here. This was_ her _fault. She’d made Ren do this._

_Hux felt something snap, and the girl began screaming, her eyes clenching closed, her thin limbs jerking against the restraints. At the same time, whatever Ren was doing, he plunged past her resolve, which was all but gone, and her terror, which had come back. There was pain now, and Ren pushed past it all, and-_

_Hux sensed the girl’s memories. Walking down a peaceful street, stopping for something sweet and cold and speaking to the older shopkeeper. Seeing the shopkeeper shot dead by the Order, too old to move as fast as ordered. Saw the town burning, saw injustice. Annoyed, Ren pushed deeper. He saw the girl speaking out, meeting with the older Rebel leaders, felt her satisfaction when they took her ideas seriously, when she helped them organize and train the younger fighters. He found her despair when they had to go into the jungles, when they began living in the mobile tents-_

_Impatient as well as annoyed, Ren pushed deeper, looking for something. Trel, one of her neighbors, was taken, she had strong feelings for him. An older woman, her face distinct in the girl’s memory, was killed in battle. The woman had known where to move next. The girl waited for a transmission, telling the rebels where the Order wouldn’t be. Triumphant, Ren seemed to examine this memory, examine other moments like this._

_Ren was satisfied at first, then angry again, furious. The sector governor, whose fangs the Order had pulled when they’d begun negotiations, was supporting the rebel efforts behind the Order’s back. There was another leak somewhere, because he wouldn’t have known their military movements, but that was different - an officer getting bribed by a governor was easier to find than one getting bribed by rebels, though the result and the punishment would be the same. Kylo Ren was disdainful of such weakness._

_The girl’s thoughts were slipping away, and furious, Ren pushed harder. Hux felt the edges of the memories tearing around them. Kylo Ren was looking for more._

_The girl didn’t know who the governor was talking to, had no interest. The rebel power structure was set, though the girl had avoided telling the truth about it by focusing on the fact she didn’t know if they were alive. They had no permanent bases, their weapons were stolen based on intel from the governor. The rebels were worse off than they’d thought._

_Kylo Ren pushed harder, but found nothing else that satisfied him. With another uncanny, painful motion, he seemed to pull back to himself, and the sense of the girl fell away, replaced with the muzzy grayness from earlier. Vaguely, Hux realized it meant the girl was unconscious._

_Kylo Ren’s hand was still on her temple, and he rubbed it with his thumb before standing. He took a step back, the sharp awareness of her muzzziness receding as Ren’s rage was replaced with fatigue and disgust. He saw the girl for what she was - young, trying to defend her planet. He knew she would be killed._

_Ren paused, his hand falling to the cylinder at his belt again as he considered her death. She would be killed later, and there was nothing else that Ren or anyone else would get from her._

_He removed the cylinder from his belt. Hux saw that it was silver, cross-shaped, with a red wire along one side. To his surprise, Ren flicked a switch, and a sense of_ power _flared from the blade. It shot forward, red and jagged and loud, unstable. Hux could feel it for a moment, making every part of Ren’s body hum, and then two quillions appeared at the sides with a bang._

_Hux had heard of plasma swords before, the fabled Jedi lightsabers, but he’d never seen one in person, and didn’t think they were a weapon anyone would use outside of a historical performance._

_Kylo Ren used his to decapitate the rebel, one quick motion that buried the saber in the interrogation table. There was no blood, and Hux felt another foreign_ snap _as the girl died._

_The blade was off and away in a moment, and Kylo Ren turned back to the door of the chamber, stepping through and back into the receiving room with the version of Hux that was here. Hux now realized the receiving room had a large viewing panel into the chamber, and General Hux had seen the whole thing._

_General Hux was regarding Ren now with his arms crossed. “Destroy the recording equipment, too. I’ve deleted the feed of you murdering her in her sleep.”_

_Ren was agitated, and removed his helmet. “Why bother? No one cares.”_

_“It’s evidence against you.” General Hux gestured to the other room, and, annoyed, Ren put a palm out to the direction of the door. He closed his eyes, and vividly pictured the inside of the interrogation room. But it was more than that - Hux could sense him moving around it, seeing it in a way that shouldn't have been possible, examining the items. He found the holorecorders, and Hux felt another_ snap _._

_Ren opened his eyes, and it was a shock for Hux to be back in a body, though it was still not his own._

_“Done,” Ren answered flatly. “One more thing for the droids to fix.”_

_General Hux stepped forward, expression unreadable again. “Did she know what we needed?”_

_“The fucking governor,” Ren muttered, growing angry again. “All this time, that governor led them on. The war, all those deaths, if only-” Ren stopped himself. Ren believed it wasn’t really the governor’s fault, or the residents. They had just been in the way. He clenched his fists at his sides and stared at the ground._

_General Hux's shined boots appeared in Ren’s field of vision, and he could feel hands wrap around Ren’s wrists. Ren looked up into Hux’s own older face, and General Hux spoke when he had his attention._

_“I know what it costs you, to do that. And I know what you think of it.”_

_Ren snorted. “I thought I was the mind reader.”_

_“I don’t have to read your mind. But I listen.” He stepped forward, and wrapped his arms around Ren’s neck in a gesture intimate enough to shock Hux. “Are you okay?”_

_Ren shook his head, then looked down. “It’s hard to… use the Dark against a girl like that.”_

_“I know. It’s worth it, I swear it. We do need the planet.” General Hux paused, leaning close. “Do you want to deal with the governor personally?”_

_A spike of satisfaction shot through Ren, pushing back at the depression and ache he felt in the wake of what he’d done in the interrogation chamber. “Yes. I’ll do it.”_

_“Ren,” he breathed, and Hux could feel Ren responding, the ache in his chest, the warmth spreading throughout his body at his attention. “You’ve done a good thing today. We can help more people this way.”_

_“It wasn’t good.” Ren leaned forward and kissed General Hux, slow and indulgent, even softer than he’d kissed Hux in the supply closet. Ren’s head swam with the pleasure of it, sudden and shocking in the absence of everything else he’d been feeling, another mood swing that Hux had no reference for. Ren, even as he was still kissing General Hux, wanted more, more, more, but he pulled away. “But I will make it matter.”_

_“It will,” Hux murmured against his mouth, then kissed him lightly again. “Do you need a distraction?”_

_Ren loved him, Hux could feel the thought, distinct and clear as day. Ren loved him so much that he would do anything for Hux. He would kill anyone Hux asked him to in that moment, would destroy countless minds and lay them at Hux’s feet, as long as Hux would make it matter and hold him in bed afterward. A part of him loathed himself for forgetting the atrocity he’d just committed so quickly._

_The larger part of him spoke, looking into Hux’s eyes. “Yes.”_

_General Hux dropped his arms, positioning one hand at the small of Ren’s back and leading him from the room. “I’ve cleared my schedule. My time is yours.”_

_Ren was elated, though not particularly aroused. But the love and affection he felt for General Hux was overwhelming, and the waves of appreciation Hux felt as Ren stared at the older version of him were a powerful thing._

* * *

The vision stopped, and Hux’s thoughts still rang with Ren’s love. That was what it was - distinct, pleasant, overwhelming. Exactly the addictive feeling that Hux knew made people into reckless fools. 

The kind of reckless fool that would do anything Hux asked him.

“I’ve been called a reckless fool before,” Ren said, his face hanging just in front of Hux’s. “And I always do anything you ask me, in these visions.”

Hux swallowed, trying to banish the waves of Ren’s love from his mind, trying to make sense of what he’d just seen, and the fact Ren had just answered his thoughts directly, here in the present. One thing seemed important. He tried to speak, and couldn’t stop his voice from shaking.

“Are you a member of the Internal Security Bureau?”

Ren smirked, and his tense body relaxed against Hux’s where he was still pinned to the broken door, Ren’s weight leaning more heavily into him. “No. I told you, you aren’t going to guess what I do. But it’s not that.”

“The… interrogation.” Hux wouldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t experienced it for himself, whatever Ren had done. Ren had read her mind, and seen her memories. Or, at least, it had seemed that way, in whatever he’d just done to Hux. Psychoprogramming? Drugs that couldn’t be screened for? Ren hadn’t had the opportunity to give him anything.

Hux had never seen a regular interrogation before. But something suddenly occurred to him as he tried to make sense of what he’d just seen. There were rumors now, of more efficient and effective interrogations for high-level prisoners. They had ways of getting information that they hadn’t had before.

“You’re the new interrogator,” Hux breathed out shakily, staring up into Ren’s face. “I’ve heard about you.”

Ren’s face grew pinched. “I wouldn’t say that, but yeah, I’ve done a few. I’m good at it. Like you just saw.” Ren’s voice grew suddenly bitter. “The ones I’ve done so far are criminals and despots. I know they deserve it. I’ve seen the results of their atrocities myself.”

The girl hadn’t been that. The girl had just been trying to save her home. Hux didn’t mention it. It wasn’t real.

“Then you are with the ISB.” Hux freed himself in a sudden twisting motion, putting as many steps as he could between them. He wanted to leave, but Ren had jammed the door, and the closet wasn’t nearly large enough for both of them. Ren leaned forward, bracing his arm behind Hux’s head, effectively pinning him against one of the equipment racks. He stared into Hux’s eyes, his expression more angry now.

“I’m not ISB. I told you. Don’t waste your time.”

“Then what do you do?”

“Whatever the Supreme Leader tells me.” Ren shrugged. “I’m his apprentice. The leader of the Knights of Ren.”

Hux relaxed. He’d heard rumors of the Knights of Ren, vigilante black ops that the First Order sometimes worked with. That was plausible. All of it was. Except the magic.

The fear that had paralyzed Hux melted away, replaced with bravado. “If you aren’t lying, that makes you very important.”

Ren grinned again, his anger gone in a second, and Hux took note of the rapid mood shift once again. “I’m not lying. And I am very important.” He leaned forward. “More important than you.”

“Ah.” Hux was reasonably sure he was lying. But whatever he could do, he seemed willing to lay it at Hux’s feet, and give Hux the time of day. As Hux had just seen, that might be worth something, if Kylo Ren was who he claimed. In the vision, he’d done something simply because Hux asked, and had only wanted to sleep with Hux in payment.

In person, he was difficult, willful, obviously powerful, and seemed to care little for what others thought of him. That might be worth something, too.

This was dangerous. Part of Hux screamed to reject Ren firmly, to get away, that Kylo Ren would only bring him disaster, would upend his life in ways that Hux couldn’t imagine. Hux would regret ever setting eyes on him, would regret getting involved with him in any way.

The other part of him, the one that enjoyed calculated risk and still wanted to sleep with Ren, was the one that spoke.

“More important than me,” he repeated. “And yet, you sought me out, just to lock me in a closet and explain with magic that you are a fool for me.”

Ren’s face softened. “I am. I think we need to know each other. The visions won’t stop.” He looked nervous for a moment before his expression grew fierce again. “And I want to.”

“Want to what?” Hux leaned forward, bringing their faces together again, unable to stop himself. This wasn’t him. He didn’t _do_ this. “What would you do for me?”

Ren held his gaze, his face unreadable. “Anything.”

“Anything.” Hux smirked, glancing around the storage space. It held practice weapons, training armor, and the riot equipment they used in simulations. He eyed the room, then gestured to a low stack of crates against one wall.

“Then take a seat for me.” Ren did, obediently, and Hux straddled his lap and continued, feeling both vaguely ridiculous and more aroused and in control than he ever had before. “If you see me so well in visions, you’ll know that giving me license to do anything to you is a poor decision.”

“I trust you,” Ren answered, pinning Hux with his gaze. 

The response made Hux irrationally furious, and he snatched a pair of binders off a nearby shelf. “Then you are an idiot. I could bind you to this pole, put my blaster in your mouth, and blow your brains out. I would walk out of here, you would be dead, and I would never be implicated.”

Ren blinked at him. “But you won’t.”

“Put your hands up,” Hux sneered. “And we’ll see what I do when you’re immobilized.”

Incredibly, Ren did, docilely raising his arms and crossing his wrists above his head. Hux followed through on his threat, binding his wrists to the ductwork behind the crates.

“And what shall I do with you now?” He pondered aloud, leaning back to study Ren, who stared back at him mildly. Hux wasn’t intending to kill him - there was no benefit to that, even if Kylo Ren was a fool. He must be a useful fool, and he could be useful to Hux right now. 

He realized his position on Ren’s lap was likely not as threatening or superior as he wanted, so he stood and looked down at him. Hux wanted to tear him to pieces, this man who had disturbed his peace of mind, who had shown him such… all-consuming visions, or whatever they were. However he did it. 

Hux was not willing to believe it was magic. Nor was he willing to believe how much he loved and appreciated Kylo Ren in them. The last one had seemed more like manipulation. Maybe Ren believed Hux loved him, but Hux knew better. Love was a myth, weakness disguised in flowery language. He would never allow it to happen to him.

He began undoing his belt, removing his tunic, vaguely considering making Ren suck his cock. Ren would, and it was how Hux usually started something like this. He hesitated though, his fingers slowing as he forced himself to think this through. He’d never had sex with the same person twice. The current conditions were not conducive to taking his time with Kylo Ren, and trying the things he’d been fantasizing about these past three months. Part of him badly wished they could do this later, in Ren’s quarters, or one of the empty trooper quarters Hux had access to.

But they were here now, and Ren was handcuffed, and the thing Hux had always wanted the most was for Ren to suck his cock. He resigned himself to seeing Ren again, got his cock out, then kicked the crate out from underneath Ren. Ren barely reacted, only stretching a leg to brace himself briefly before standing to his full height, expression almost placid. Rather than provoking the angry reaction Hux had hoped for, it seemed almost as if Ren had expected it, and was eager for the next thing. 

“Kneel,” Hux ordered, in a voice he normally reserved for new recruits acting out. Ren gave him a different look, one that made Hux’s chest tighten, just before kneeling more slowly and gracefully than Hux would have expected from a man of his size. His handcuffed wrists slid down the pipe before catching on a brace, stretching Ren’s arms above his head, shoulders forced backwards in a position that had to be uncomfortable.

But Hux stopped considering his comfort as soon as he stepped forward and Ren’s lips were around his cock. Hux had never forgotten Ren’s large mouth, his full lips, or his slightly crooked teeth, and he found that his fantasies matched the reality of it now, save for the fact that Ren’s mouth was far better than his own hand.

He closed his eyes and made an involuntary noise low in his throat, wishing he could control himself better. Hux was a fan of quick blowjobs, purchased anonymously when he needed release. It was often all he needed, and his partners were generally very utilitarian.

Ren was an artist, however. He used his tongue, lavishing Hux’s cock with broad strokes, punctuated by sucking and licking the head, glancing up periodically through his lashes to see Hux’s reactions. Hux controlled his face as much as he could, but Ren could also take him entirely, and when Hux’s cock hit the back of Ren’s throat and Ren made a satisfied noise in his throat, Hux couldn’t help the hand that went out to steady himself against Ren’s shoulders, the way he curled above him. He wrapped his gloved fingers in Ren’s hair and pulled, just as he’d been shown in the visions, and Ren moaned again.

Hux should have tried harder to hold himself back, but it was too much. He shivered with the effort of it, trying to look less like an untouched virgin, but Ren’s mouth slid off his cock, and he looked up at Hux and murmured “It’s okay,” before swallowing his cock for the last time.

Hux came down Ren’s throat with a groan that was entirely too loud. He put his hands out and braced himself against the wall, eyes closed as his body was wracked with aftershocks and his mind reeled.

He hated that he had enjoyed it so much. He’d needed it, obviously, his mind had been overly occupied with this very thing. But given that he’d already told Ren he didn’t do repeat performances and would offer just that, he felt humiliated.

He straightened himself, running a hand over his still-styled hair, looking up at the dim ceiling until he had calmed himself. Then, he pushed himself off the wall and took a step back, scrutinizing Ren as he tucked himself away.

He opened his mouth to say something, but noticed Ren’s cock between his spread thighs, an overly large bulge that strained against the fabric of his pants. Hux could swear he could see dampness where Ren's cock was leaking, even against the black fabric. Was he not wearing underwear?

 _Fuck_ , Hux wanted to blow him. He wanted to get down on his knees in the filthy storage closet and swallow his big cock while he was handcuffed, so Ren’s hands couldn’t touch him-

“You can,” Ren murmured, shifting slightly and looking at Hux earnestly.

Hux blinked, disturbed. “I can what?”

“Suck my cock,” Ren replied, sounding vaguely annoyed. “I won’t tell anyone, if you’re worried about your pride.”

Hux clenched his jaw. Clearly he hadn’t controlled his face as well as he’d though. And he’d been staring. Well.

“I’m not going to touch you,” Hux hissed as he hastily finished straightening his uniform and made himself presentable enough to leave. “And you won’t touch me. This was…” it was utterly, astoundingly foolish and risky. What if someone had walked in, and he’d been rutting like a cadet? His reputation never would have recovered.

“No one will interrupt us,” Ren said, shifting again, looking even more annoyed. “I can make sure. You’re too worried. It’s just sex.”

Another blow. Obviously Ren knew more about his reputation than Hux would like.

Furious, Hux recovered his cap from the floor (he hadn’t realized it had fallen off, would have left it here if he hadn’t been trying so hard to not look at Ren) and ran a gloved hand over his hair to assure himself it was still styled properly. He should take his time, make sure that there was no hint in his appearance that would give away the fact he’d just been blown in a supply closet, but he couldn’t stand to be in the same room with Ren anymore.

“If you’re not worried, you can stay in the cuffs,” Hux snapped, realizing immediately that leaving Ren like this would be a terrible idea. How would Ren get out? He’d have to call for help, then explain himself. At least Hux hadn’t removed any of his clothes. 

It didn’t matter. He could deny any accusation that Ren made. As he turned to leave, Ren stood, the binders falling away from his wrists.

It was impossible, and Hux froze, staring as Ren rubbed his wrists through the gloves, then rolled his shoulders, looking far angrier now.

“I told you,” Ren explained, voice low and dangerous, “I have power, whether you believe in it or not. It’s true. Everything I’ve told you.”

Hux backed up until his back pressed to the door. “Impossible,” he managed, willing himself to forget everything he’d just seen, everything about Kylo Ren. He couldn’t handle Ren, not here in this enclosed space, and not anywhere else, if Ren contacted him again.

Ren glared, and Hux became increasingly certain he was about to receive a punishment for leaving Ren handcuffed. But then, Ren’s tense posture deflated, and Hux watched the fury visibly run out of him as his shoulders slumped and his expression shifted to glum disappointment.

“Whatever,” Ren replied, looking more defeated now. “I’ll see you later.”

“You won’t,” Hux insisted, his hand groping for the door release, before remembering that Ren had broken it. “You don’t have my comm.” And Hux would stop using the officer’s mess. He might be able to convince someone he needed his own private office, call in a favor, or some blackmail. Ren would never find him again.

“ _Hux_. I don’t need your comm. I can find you wherever you go.” He waved his hand, and the door opened. Hux nearly fell backwards through it. As he stumbled to right himself, Ren grabbed him by the waist, pulling him back into the room, his still-hard cock pressed against Hux’s thigh.

Hux’s pulse was racing. What if they were seen? How would he explain this, what he was doing in a-

“They won’t see us,” Ren whispered, lips right next to Hux’s ear, and Hux shivered. “And I’ll come back, when you can’t stop thinking about me. I’m real, Hux. And so is what’s between us. I’ve seen it. I feel it. There will be a day when we’re each other’s happiness. It’ll be faster if you let it happen.”

He released Hux, all but shoving him into the hallway. Ren stepped past him, jostling Hux’s shoulder as he went by, leaving the broken door of the closet open behind him.

“And you won’t say no. Just like this time,” he taunted as he waved without turning around, walking down the hallway as if he didn’t have an erection visible through his tight pants.

Hux gaped after him, unable to think of a comeback for that. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, he realized he’d just been blown by Kylo Ren in a supply closet, and it had been _good_. Ren was probably right. If Ren waited long enough to ask, Hux would absolutely do it again.

Hux turned on his heel, furious, and began walking down the hall in the opposite direction.

It didn’t matter, he concluded. It was just sex. If Ren did come back, that would just make Hux’s life easier. Less of a distraction.

He stopped, frozen in place as something else occurred to him.

Ren had called him _Hux_ , just as he had in the visions. Everyone called him Armitage, though he hated being the only one called by a first name. Sometimes they used his rank of Captain, but he and his father were usually Brendol and Armitage, which was condescending and humiliating. His father hated it as much as he did, and he didn't like to agree with his father about anything.

Never _Hux_. Hux hadn’t told Ren to call him that, either.

He had forgotten to place his cap back on his head, and he moved his free hand over his hair again, trying to compose himself and unsure what to do with the wave of pleasant appreciation that swept through him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The binders! I am dead. [gaylo-ben](https://gaylo-ben.tumblr.com/) is the best.


	3. Chapter 3

Hux was, he knew, in the middle of one of the most ridiculous things he’d ever done in his life. He could have stopped himself several days ago. He should have. He could still stop, before more than one intimidated Payzen palace employee knew he was here. He was in a royal palace, wearing something outlandish, and about to do something completely out of character.

But he was also in a good mood, had been for several days, and had come into some unexpected leave time. What did it matter how he spent it? He tried not to examine his motives too closely. He was doing as he liked, and he deserved this ridiculous thing.

Payzen was a planet near the edge of the Outer Rim, known for its experimental fighter tech and its beautiful terraced plains, full of lakes, streams, and natural waterfalls through rich farmland. Hux had seen none of this, instead arriving on a transport of reinforcement troopers that landed in the sprawling urban capital city and barging directly into the royal quarters. The planet was currently occupied by the First Order after the Payzen had broken a trade agreement, apparently on the initiative of the ruling family. The Payzen senate had requested the First Order's aid in wresting control from the monarchy, and the difficult takeover was being championed by Kylo Ren.

Hux hadn’t commed ahead, but had instead followed a sudden impulse to surprise Ren with a visit, as Ren had so often done to Hux over the past year of their acquaintance. Hux wondered how Ren would react. He always looked so pleased to see Hux, though Hux was still annoyed whenever Ren upset his plans. Would Ren be happy to see him now?

The palace staff, who were few and difficult to locate, confirmed that Ren was the only one staying in the palace and government complex in the center of the capital city. They were surly and uncooperative, and the guard seemed to believe that Hux would be dealt with when Ren returned. Hux only smirked at him.

The surprise visit itself felt silly enough, but Hux had gone one step farther, once he’d seen the interior of the palace itself and realized that Ren was out on a mission somewhere, return time unknown. He’d decided to utterly shock Ren, and had spent the last few hours preparing himself for the surprise. 

Once finished, he sat in the main royal chambers and bided his time on a datapad until he heard the door of the quarters activate. He quickly stowed his datapad deep inside the cushions of the plush, padded seat he'd drug to the center of the room, choosing to intentionally slump and spread his legs suggestively, humiliation warring with smug satisfaction about just what a surprise this would be.

He was rewarded when Ren rounded the entrance hallway into the palatial quarters, his heavy, rapid steps freezing as he caught sight of Hux. 

Hux frowned. It would have been a perfect reaction, had Ren not been wearing the damn helmet.

“What are you doing here?” Ren asked, the question distorted by his helmet speaker. Though his voice came out flat and inflectionless, his tense posture relaxed. He’d obviously been upset before spotting Hux. Hux was pleased that his surprise had been worth it.

“Celebrating,” he offered, sitting up in the seat and adjusting his… costume. It was far too much, if he were honest with himself. He’d ransacked the ceremonial wardrobe of the Payzen palace, and was wearing a deep-green gown cinched at the waist with an elaborate silver belt composed of tiny round links and set with green stones at intervals. The gown flared out around his bare feet, and he wore a heavy cape over it, red and trimmed with the white fur of some long-dead creature. The headpiece was delicate, and he’d almost forgone it, but it was part of the costume - a thin silver circlet that sat on his brow, with delicate sliver chains looping around it, strung with tiny green stone beads. He wasn’t entirely sure how it didn’t get tangled in one’s hair, but he wore enough product that it wasn’t a problem. The headpiece was surprisingly heavy, but he was hoping Ren’s reaction would be worth the trouble.

“Celebrating what,” Ren replied sharply, his anger coming clearly through the vocoder. He tensed again, striding into the center of the room. “The rebels are still harrying the army to the point where the casualties are higher than our backup can cover, Major Hux. There has been nothing to celebrate since we took the capitol, and that was over a month ago.”

Hux cocked his head. “I thought I saw a prop that mentioned you executed the royal family?”

Ren began pacing. “I wondered how you knew to come here, to the palace. That execution wasn’t a victory. They played us for fools, and I had to murder them while they were lying to my face.” 

“Well, they’re dead now. There’s little standing between you and the acquisition of the Payzen system territory.”

“Except thousands of Payzen rebels. They still control the trade routes through the system, and they’ve been able to outmaneuver the armies and pilots at every turn. They’ve grounded their fleet within the last week, and we can’t find it.” Ren paused, his fists clenching at his sides, and he whipped his body to face Hux. “All the tech and might of the First Order, and we can’t find a fleet of _starfighters_ that the rebels are hiding. Your officers and navy are useless.”

Hux thought about correcting Ren’s use of _your_ , but rather liked the idea of Ren thinking the entire force of the First Order belonged to Hux, even at its worst. Hux was unshaken by his anger.

“At least you have the royal quarters to yourself.” Hux gestured to the enormous great room, which was the equivalent of a royal single-room occupancy suite - a bed in one corner, a lavish receiving area by the door, a lounge by the massive window that overlooked the courtyard gardens that served as the center of the capital city. All of it was done in overly-elaborate silver filigree accents on a sickly pale green, some sort of national symbol or color repeated over and over again in decorating motifs. The room even had ‘fresher utilities hidden behind a screen in a corner. Hux wondered what it must have been like to take a shit during a dinner party.

“These types of accommodations are hotly contested in postings like this,” Hux continued. “How do you have the royal quarters to yourself? The COs quite literally kill each other for them, and blame the locals.”

Ren took several steps closer. “This may shock you, but most people are afraid of me.”

Hux grinned, leaning forward. This surprise had been a good idea. “You’ve never tried particularly hard to frighten me. But I am surprised to learn that the senior staff stationed with you took your hint.”

Ren shrugged. “Most of them forgot that the quarters existed.”

The reminder of Ren’s ‘magic’ abruptly quashed Hux’s good mood. He leaned back in his chair again. “That’s fine. Take off your helmet so I can see your terrifying face.”

“Terrifying?”

Hux waved away the insult, and Ren removed his helmet amiably enough. Beneath, he wore a small smile, but otherwise looked exhausted. Pale, with red-rimmed eyes and lank, greasy hair that hadn’t been washed in some time. He looked troubled and haunted. He didn’t look like he was winning a war.

“I look the same,” he admitted, in his own familiar, deep voice. Hearing his voice still pulled at something in Hux’s chest, even after all this time. Ignoring that, Hux studied his face. Ren’s smile widened under the scrutiny. “You look a lot different. What are you here celebrating, Major?”

“I’m no longer a major. I received a promotion.” Hux sat up straighter, pleased with himself and eager to share the news with the only person he wanted to tell. “I’m transitioning to a leadership role in the experimental weapons program. By request. The projects I’ve been developing in my spare time have been moderately successful, and I will go nowhere in the stormtrooper program while my father still heads it. I’ve been delegating my remaining roles in recruitment and propaganda, and the changes I suggested for a bare-bones weapons program, to be developed alongside the training with the troopers, are being implemented this week. When I return, everything will be prepared.”

Ren sighed, and his gaze shifted from Hux to the window behind him as he tucked his helmet under one arm. “Your weapons again. You’re set on killing the most people in the shortest amount of time.”

“Of course. It’s how wars are won, Kylo Ren.” Hux was suddenly annoyed. The promotion meant the world to him. It was a position that hadn’t existed before he’d created it. He thought Ren would understand, would be as pleased as he was. But Ren was in one of his dark, bizarrely treasonous moods, and it was spoiling Hux’s surprise. “I would have thought you’d be an expert on the subject. The victories for you and your Knights are often included with the First Order props in the morning broadcasts.”

Ren’s gaze met Hux’s again, and he shrugged, expression neutral. “Yeah, I’m doing okay. I chose this for myself, so it’s better than before.”

Hux stood, closing the distance between them, and put his bare hands on Ren’s biceps. He was surprised to find Ren hot and sweat-damp beneath his clothes, and shivering slightly. Was he exhausted, or sick? Either way, a rest with Hux would cure him.

“We need more soldiers like you,” he said, in an attempt to raise Ren’s spirits. “If I knew what made you special, I would train a thousand more just like you.”

Ren’s face changed, his brows drawing together in confusion. He stepped back, away from Hux’s hands. “That’s almost sweet, if it didn’t make you a monster.”

“It wasn’t meant to be sentimental. It’s the truth.”

“Then you’re a monster. There will never be anyone like me. No children, no one else. I’m seeing to it right now. No one will suffer as I do.”

Ren’s expression had hardened, and there was something in his eyes that made Hux hesitate, bite back on the argument that he wanted to start on impulse. Why wouldn’t he want more soldiers as good as Ren? It didn’t make sense to be angry about it. But he didn’t want to fight with Ren. Instead, he stepped in closer, trying once again to compliment Ren and calm him down.

“Suffer? You’re one of the most decorated warriors in the First Order. You have your own royal quarters right now. You can read minds, change them, and end them before they even know how dangerous you really are.”

Ren, still angry, stepped further away from Hux, then began pacing the room again, dropping his battered helmet loudly and ostentatiously in the center of the room. He glanced in agitation out the enormous window, to the vacant gardens laid out below them, a stormtrooper patrol visible down one of the side streets. 

“What are we doing on this planet, Hux?”

Hux sat back down in the throne-like chair he’d been so careful to position for his surprise, defeated and uneasy, the stiff and unfamiliar gown and cape settling around him. Ren’s talk was bordering on treason again, and he didn’t like to think that one of their most celebrated soldiers had doubts like this. Hux had once suggested Ren voluntarily receive a round of programming, which would erase such doubts and make him more confident. It had been the only time Hux had feared his temper. Hux had defended himself, and still didn’t understand why Ren would object to it - it helped.

“We’re assisting the senate,” he began, answering Ren’s question. “They asked for our help, and we’ve given it. We need all the allies we can use now, including the Payzen senate. I assume that’s why you were dispatched specifically, as a show of goodwill.”

“The senate asked. But not the royal family.”

“Apparently,” Hux replied drily. “I would not have expected them to encourage this degree of insurgency simply because the senate insisted on upholding a trade agreement. Usually it’s the royal families on the receiving end of protests like this.”

Ren stopped in front of the window, staring, his hands behind his back. “Usually insurgents are working against corrupt governments.”

“Well. The senate is an elected body. One assumes-”

“That everyone gets a vote?” Ren glanced over his shoulder at Hux, then back out the window. “I’ve had to interrogate a lot of the insurgents here. Voting is based on income level. The senate is elected only by the wealthy tradesman. The rest of the population is all but enslaved.”

“Those sound like productive interrogation sessions. Did you also learn where their bases were?”

“I’m serious,” Ren said, more angry now, still looking out over the vacant square. “Why are we helping the wealthy of this planet re-capture their unpaid labor? Is that really how we want to be seen? How does this fit into the future of the First Order?”

Hux wasn’t entirely comfortable with where this was going. “We help who needs it. That’s what we do. Unlike the Republic senate.”

“The Republic senate has these exact same problems! Except they would never have intervened in a situation like this.”

“Then stop it!” Hux shouted, furious now, surging to his feet. Only Ren could provoke an outburst like this, but he found them increasingly freeing. “You’re right! Is that what you want to hear? Obviously we should have investigated the matter before we deployed-”

“We took their word for it,” Ren interrupted. “Captain Tess was in charge of negotiations. I think he was bribed.”

“Then interrogate Captain Tess, and execute him for corruption! If you can’t do that, what are you good for? Get rid of him, then turn on the corrupt minority of this planet! Seize their wealth and assets, their estates, and imprison them! Do whatever you want! You’re Kylo Ren!”

Ren seemed taken aback by this. He finally turned to regard Hux with a steady, unreadable stare. “It’s not that easy. I can’t… how am I supposed to do all of that? It’s not how the Force works.”

Hux huffed, sitting back down in the chair. If it was a matter of procedure, Hux always had ready suggestions. Ren’s uncomfortable questions about the morality of each skirmish were often less clear. “You can start by calling Captain Tess into these quarters tomorrow, and interrogating him. Then you have leverage to do the rest. No one will question your orders, if they’re as intimidated as you say.”

Ren considered this, looking more troubled. “I’ve never done that before.”

“What were you planning to do, swing your sword and rant?”

Ren ignored the insult, still obviously thinking over Hux’s suggestions. “What about the money? All I’m good for is swinging my sword, I’m not some financial genius that knows how to get into the banks.”

Hux waved a hand, feeling more confident. “We have a department for that. They’re ex-Imperials, they love doing that sort of thing. I’ll send a comm from you as soon as you’re finished with your interrogation.”

Ren relaxed again, closing the distance between them, and leaning over Hux on the chair, getting closer than he had since he’d entered the suite. “Good. I was worried you were going to tell me financial mastery was another skill you had, in addition to recruitment, programming, and weapons development."

“No. I’ve never had my own money to care about.” Hux tilted his head. “Have you?”

“My own? No,” Ren said, straightening again, the evasion clear. “I don’t care about it, either. But it is nice that all I needed to solve my problems on Payzen was a fight with you.”

“Of course.” Hux smoothed his gown, preening slightly under the praise. “The First Order is fundamentally right, Kylo Ren. We offer assistance to any planet that asks. That continues to be true, and we grow better at it with each conflict.”

Ren’s good mood vanished abruptly, and he straightened again. “I’ve been on Payzen for a month, and I could see from the first day that there was an issue with our ‘assistance.’ How often has this happened? How many more times will we do this until we ‘grow better at it’?”

“No organization the size of the Order is perfect,” Hux snapped sharply. They were _done_ with this, Ren had relented once. He reminded himself Ren had been in a failing active war zone for a month, and Hux was the one that needed patience. “That’s why we have you. You found this issue, and you’ll stop it, then we’ll help the survivors restructure their government. We’ll offer relief for their war. They’ll be valuable allies.”

“Really?” Ren looked amused. “You think they’ll be our allies, after we’ve killed thousands of them? After we executed their royal family?”

“You did that,” Hux retorted, perhaps unfairly. Ren grew angry again.

“Because they lied to me. They could have just-” He closed his eyes, clenched his fists at his sides, then visibly calmed himself. His temper had gotten worse since they'd met, though he usually tried hard to control it in front of Hux. Hux suspected he was less restrained around others, and suddenly wondered if there was footage of the royal interrogation.

After a moment, Ren opened his eyes and continued. “Whatever. I don’t know why I’m arguing with you about this. We’re not going to suddenly turn around and help these rebels. You have to know it’s not like the props. Once you give the order to seize the ruling party’s assets, command will probably try to offer terms of peace to the rebels. I’m not sure if they’ll fall for that or not, but if they do, they’ll be all but imprisoned, and puppets for the First Order command here. If we don’t kill them outright and lie about it.”

“That’s not true,” Hux spat, leaning forward. “We don’t need to do that! What we offer is-”

“War? The deaths of all their friends? You know we’re not going to give their money and land back.” Ren ignored Hux’s anger, and seemed on firmer ground himself now. Hux hated it. “And you know better than anyone what happens as soon as the war ends and we offer ‘peace’ to everyone here.”

“The recruitment?” Hux didn’t like where this was going. “It’s the most effective time for the drives. Many of the ex-soldiers want to continue their lifestyles, and people who want a cause to fight for can continue to do that in underserved-”

“Huh. You really do believe that propaganda.”

“It’s not propaganda!” Hux surged to his feet, furious, nearly falling on his face in the unfamiliar clothing. He felt like a fool. “It’s the truth! Next you’ll tell me that the Republican slander is true, and that we kidnap-”

“Of course we kidnap thousands of people when we invade a planet. How do you think we’d fill the recruitment quotas otherwise?” Ren still looked amused, and Hux wanted to punch the smug look off his face. “Do you think we just magically fill the quotas every time we invade and purge a planet?”

Hux looked away. The recruitment quotas were his father’s doing, and something that Hux didn’t entirely agree with. Brendol insisted that it kept officers from being lazy and not doing the work to replace the soldiers they’d lost, but the commanders complained bitterly about them. Failing to reach your quotas more than a few times would land you a position at a mineral collection colony in Wild Space. But they always worked, and it drove the numbers for the army up high enough to be successful, so Hux had never pushed back hard against them.

“I’ve never had any trouble with the recruitment quotas.”

Ren snorted, and looked even more smug. “You’re good at speaking, good-looking, and the son of one of the most senior officers in the organization. You’re only sent to the planets that actually like the Order.” Ren’s amusement abruptly vanished. “I haven’t been to a planet like that since we met.”

Hux’s face grew hot at the accusations, all of which he’d dealt with his entire life. He hadn’t expected to hear the same criticisms from Ren. “I’m not soft, and I’m not treated preferentially! If you knew my father, you’d know-”

“I don’t have to know your father, or know how much you hate him.” Ren shrugged. “You only want to believe what’s in front of you. But since you’re here now, maybe you’ll see for yourself. Once we fill the quotas, we’ll begin the purge. I call my knights to do that with me. Since there won’t be any allies left planetside, we won't need to leave anyone alive.”

Hux was silent, hating Ren, hating that there was nothing he could say to all this. Ren cocked his head, smugness warring with cruelty, and Hux wondered if maybe Ren had lost his temper, just not in the violent way Hux had always imagined.

“The Payzen system will sit empty and fallow, because we don’t have the resources to re-colonize it right now. The last eight campaigns I’ve run have ended that way. Last I checked, we were just beginning to recolonize the first of those eight.”

Hux stormed across the room and away from him, absolutely furious. “I don’t need to stay here and see what war looks like, I know perfectly well. I don’t have to take this… _slander_ from you. I can turn on the Republican feeds and hear the same lines. I’m leaving.”

“Wait,” Ren said, nearly shouting it. When Hux made it to the entrance hallway with his hand on the door controls, he froze, unable to move a muscle. He couldn’t turn his head to glare at Ren, but felt the sensation of Ren's magic crawling all over his body. He wanted to shudder, and felt his stomach tighten. He hated being confronted by Ren’s powers like this. Speaking of Ren’s magic was bad enough, but demonstrations always left Hux feeling uncanny, like his feet had been taken from beneath him.

“I know you don’t like to hear that the Order isn’t perfect,” Ren said, in lieu of an apology, Hux supposed. He heard steps approaching from behind him. “Look. Forget it. You’re here because you’re celebrating. You got a promotion.”

Ren released him from his magic. Hux was still furious, and he should absolutely storm out the door in his ridiculous clothes to the humiliation he deserved, leave Kylo Ren and his treason and the things he did to Hux behind him.

Instead, he turned, hating himself and his weakness. “Yes. I came here.” Hux shouldn’t even fucking _be_ here. But what else was he supposed to do with leave? It was meant to be a vacation. There was nothing to focus on. Ren was merely the entertainment.

Ren smiled, and it was more genuine this time, less smug, though he still looked exhausted. “And you dressed like this.”

Hux straightened the headpiece again, feeling exposed despite all the heavy fabrics, and ridiculous for fighting while dressed like this. “Yes. I had one of the staff members help me with the ceremonial wardrobe.”

Ren made a face, but his expression quickly smoothed, and he brought a hand up to cup Hux’s jaw, tilting his face up. “You had them paint your face, too.”

Hux flushed, though it wouldn’t be visible below his makeup. The Payzen formal style seemed to rely on heavy eye makeup and lipstick that matched the green-and-silver colors of their country, and what Hux was wearing. His complexion had also been evened out to a single pale shade. He hadn’t bothered to consult a mirror once the staff member was finished, knowing he would regret it and demand that it be removed, but hoping that Ren would like it anyway.

“I did. I’d never worn anything like this before, I wanted to try it.”

“Why?”

For Ren. And Hux had liked the way the people were dressed in the paintings on the palace complex walls, which was why he’d asked for all of it in the first place.

“To celebrate,” he replied simply, pursing his lips and resting his hands against Ren’s waist. 

Ren leaned in closer, closing the distance between their faces. “Did you miss me? I’ve been here for a month, neglecting you.”

Ren had hardly neglected him. They’d begun seeing each other regularly after Ren had interrupted his lunch all those months ago. If Ren was on a mission, he’d usually comm Hux if his off-shift overlapped with Hux’s. Hux had resisted at first, but Ren could be quite creative when showing off in front of a camera, and Hux had a hard time denying him.

Not that Hux would ever admit that. “I did not miss you. I had leave, and you were merely in a convenient location to take it.”

Ren made a face, taking a step back and pulling away from Hux’s hands. “Of course. I’m convenient. Here, in my active war zone.”

Hux clenched his jaw. He would leave if Ren insisted on another fight. “Yes. As I’ve explained several times, and will not do so again.”

“I don’t want to argue,” Ren began, his voice gaining the tone he used when he wanted more from Hux, “But… you have to know it’s more than that. You came here, did all this. I can tell when you’re lying.”

The last brought back the uncanny sense of losing his legs again, and Hux took another step away, pressing his back against the door. “I am not _lying_. I merely thought you could keep me entertained for a standard week. Since you can’t, I will be leaving.”

This time, Ren didn’t use his powers, but grabbed Hux around the waist. Hux both loved and hated the sense of being physically overpowered by him. He’d conditioned himself to attack anyone who handled him this way, but foolishly, he’d stopped wearing weapons in Ren’s presence. He quelled the instinct to strike out with elbows and knees as Ren pinned him to the door, his hips against Hux’s.

“Hux,” Ren breathed next to his ear, and Hux shivered, still weak to the combination of his voice, his breath, the fact that Ren seemed to instinctively know every one of his faults. “I always want more. I’ll keep saying it, until you believe me. And don’t act like you’re leaving. You never leave.”

At that, Ren leaned back, studying him again. Hux very much wanted to call his bluff.

“You know my terms. The rules for… this.” Hux gestured between them. “You want more, and I won’t give it, Ren. I dislike repeating this to you. You’ve pushed me past my limit, and I’m leaving.”

Ren smirked again, still looking exhausted. “You won’t. But I don’t want to fight anymore, and I miss you. I’ll get cleaned up.” Ren turned slightly, gesturing to the screened area of the room. “And then we can do whatever you were imagining when you put all that on.”

“No,” Hux said, more firmly than he intended. He swallowed, unsure how to proceed. The thought of Ren being sweaty and battle-fatigued was unfortunately very arousing. He blamed Ren, who frequently crawled into his bed fresh from a mission and unwilling to wait. He had, of course, had Ren fresh and clean from a shower, and enjoyed that, too. 

But it wasn’t the same.

Rather than explaining any of that, and half-suspecting by the smirk on Ren’s face that he somehow knew anyway, Hux scowled and went back to the large chair in the middle of the room. “Strip,” he ordered. “That will be sufficient.”

As unruly and argumentative as Ren was, he always seemed eager to follow Hux’s orders when a sexual payoff was involved. Soon, he had his filthy boots and tunic off, along with the rest of his clothing, discarded in the middle of the floor where he’d left his helmet. He stood, still looking pale and tired, but with his arms spread out and a more sincere grin on his face now.

“Fine. I’m naked. What next?”

Ren raised his eyebrows suggestively, but Hux forced himself not to look at Ren’s unkept pubic hair and big cock, likely already getting hard from the attention. 

He reached behind himself, to the item he’d tucked into the belt at the small of his back where Ren wouldn’t find it. It was a pair of briefs that Hux had purchased for Ren some time ago, but had never found occasion to give to him. He’d reasoned this celebration would work. He stretched his arm out and held the gift out by a finger. “Wear this.”

Ren approached, his face comically serious as he accepted the tiny scrap of gold fabric Hux had offered him, studying it for a moment before glancing back up. “Where? Around my wrist?”

“Put it on, and kneel,” Hux said more firmly, to indicate that he wasn’t in the mood for Ren’s levity. Hux also worried that too many jokes would make the silly idea fall apart. But the opportunity had been difficult to resist, and he was sure Ren would enjoy it, too.

Ren held his gaze defiantly for a moment, likely just to let Hux know he was doing this because he wanted to. They’d had that conversation too many times. But Hux didn’t look away, and Ren obediently slid on the garment - a narrow bikini-style thong, his cock barely covered by the fabric in the front, and unlikely to stay contained for long.

Hux nodded. It was even better than he’d hoped, even with Ren looking as exhausted as he did. The cut of the briefs drew attention to Ren’s muscular thighs and his tight stomach, with the trail of dark hair leading down to the bulge in the fabric. The month stuck planetside on campaign hadn’t affected Ren’s body too adversely - he’d lost weight, but his muscle definition was more pronounced across his arms and shoulders. His head was bowed slightly in expectation, dark eyes sharp and fixed on Hux despite the dark circles, the messy stubble, and his lank hair.

Hux fought to keep his facial expression neutral. He leaned against the armrest of the chair, head in hand, studying Ren.

“Turn around, so I can see you properly.”

Ren did, holding his arms above his head and smirking, flexing his arms and shoulders. Hux pointedly did not look above Ren’s waist. The straps of the garment rose above Ren’s well-defined hips, and from behind, the fabric disappeared into the cleft of his ass. The back of his thighs looked just as good, and Hux focused on a mole at the crease of his thigh and ass.

It really was a magnificent ass, Hux had to admit to himself wistfully. He was suddenly overcome by the urge to lick the mole, to mouth the inside of his thighs, to taste the sweat that had dried to his skin and gently bite at the sensitive skin. He wanted to suck Ren’s cock through the briefs, tease him through the fabric until he was leaking and begging Hux to finish him. Neither of them typically begged, but he thought he might be able to draw Ren out long enough for this special occasion. 

He considered this briefly, deciding it could wait.

“Very well. That suits you. Kneel.”

Ren turned back to face Hux with a dark expression, and Hux knew he was pushing the boundary of what Ren would do. But Ren scowled, and kneeled, and it was one of the most wonderful things Hux had seen him do. He was almost fully hard under the layers of his costume, and he shifted, leaning forward as Ren hung his head low, still scowling, his dark hair hanging messily around his face. He was close enough that Hux leaned forward and cupped his chin in his hand, letting his expression soften.

“What do you suggest I order you to do first?”

“You already did it. I got naked,” Ren said sullenly, and Hux’s hand slid into his hair, pulling it.

“Unruly,” Hux murmured. “Remember that I asked. Now we’ll do what I want.” Hux considered Ren a moment, his muscular body on display, kneeling before Hux. “Remove my belt.”

Still scowling, Ren leaned forward, his fingers searching along the silver links of Hux’s belt. The clasp was a simple one, a large silver ring that the length of the belt pulled through. Ren removed it, the metal making a whispering sound against the fabric, then he knelt back, offering it between his hands.

“Your belt, my master,” he offered sarcastically, but the words sent heat through Hux’s body, twisting pleasantly in his chest.

He leaned forward, accepting the length of it, then quickly wrapped it around Ren’s neck, feeding the belt through the loop and pulling hard enough to make it tight, but not hard enough to choke.

Ren looked surprised. In the moment it took for him to recover, Hux clenched the length in his fist, leaning forward to whisper in his ear. “You’re mine, Kylo Ren. Never forget it.”

It fit with the scene, of course. But Ren flushed, and his sullenness vanished. He turned, his lips finding Hux’s, and he kissed him, mouth open and tongue sliding between Hux’s lips. Ren cupped Hux’s chin, and pulled back, their breaths mingling. He opened his dark eyes, and it felt as if Ren would swallow Hux whole.

“I am. I’m yours, Hux.”

That was too sentimental, and Hux leaned back in the chair, feeding the belt out between them. He shifted his expression back to neutral as he noticed some of the green lipstick had smeared around Ren’s mouth, and the pale foundation had rubbed off against his fingers. Hux was unusually charmed by this, but he wondered how much more ridiculous they both would look by the end of the evening.

He leaned all the way back in his seat, stretching out his leg and offering Ren his bare foot, visible below the hem of his gown.

“Show me,” he murmured, and to his delight, Ren took his foot gently in one hand, maintaining eye contact as he gently kissed the arch. He drug his lips to the ankle, smearing some of the green lipstick as he went, then kissed up Hux’s leg. Hux watched, entranced, as Ren held his gaze, his foot in one hand, his other palm sliding up Hux’s calf, the small hairs catching against the callouses of Ren’s palm. The links of the belt tinkled gently in Hux’s slack grip as Ren pushed up Hux’s gown, his lips finding the inside of his thigh, his mouth and tongue now working from Hux’s knee, further up.

Hux realized that he’d been thinking of doing the same thing to Ren earlier. He remembered that Ren claimed to be able to read his mind, then pushed the thought away.

As Ren pushed the gown further up, he murmured in surprise, moving both hands to Hux’s waist and pulling him forward.

“I had no idea you wanted us to match, Colonel,” Ren offered with another wicked grin, glancing up impishly past Hux's gown.

Hux frowned, then gasped as Ren’s finger found the identical gold briefs Hux was wearing under all the costuming. Ren stroked a finger along the sensitive skin high on Hux's thigh, shifting himself further forward and pulling Hux’s legs over his shoulders.

“I had no idea you…” Ren trailed off, and his expression softened. Hux found himself on unsteady ground again, the same sensation as if Ren was using his magic.

“Thank you,” Ren said, sincerely. “Thank you for this.”

Hux tried to push himself up, to pull his legs back, but before he could respond, Ren dove into the gown, letting the fabric drift over his neck and shoulders as much as Hux’s legs would allow, hiding his dark head and busy mouth from Hux’s view.

Ren’s tongue followed where his finger had been, carefully stroking high inside Hux’s thigh. He nosed along the thin fabric of his briefs, and Hux could feel his cock throb, could feel Ren’s hot breath on his balls as they drew up tightly.

Ren used only his lips, teeth, and nose to liberate Hux’s cock, and he could feel the heat under the gown as Ren began to suck, pulling the length between his lips, maneuvering with just his tongue as his big hands stayed wrapped around Hux’s thighs. Generally, they both preferred rougher sex, but when Ren was feeling sentimental or contrary, his cocksucking was slow, deliberate, and calculated to drive Hux crazy.

“Stop,” Hux said after only a few minutes, not certain he could last long. Ren emerged from below Hux’s skirts, smirking and satisfied, his face flushed.

Hux scowled, but instead of chastising him, he yanked Ren forward by the nearly-forgotten belt, bending low to kiss him. It was a messy kiss, Hux mouthing at Ren’s full lips, their tongues and teeth getting in each other’s way. Ren grabbed Hux’s face in both hands, squeezing, his thumbs rubbing along Hux’s jaw.

“All this work for a two-minute blowjob,” Ren remarked, and Hux pulled the belt in his fist tighter.

“Quiet,” Hux snapped, trying to control himself, forcing himself to lean away and look at Ren. Ren wiped at his mouth, where more of the green lipstick was hopelessly smeared. The powder from Hux’s face had transferred to Ren’s nose, cheeks, chin, and lips, with some evidence of it in his hair. Hux reached up and swiped at a smudge. Ren hadn’t shaved, and the prickle of his facial hair rasped against Hux’s thumb.

“I waited a long time for you to arrive. I’ve been ready for hours.”

This wasn’t quite true, and Ren’s eyes sparkled as if he knew it. “Well. Don’t waste any more time, then. I’m tired, and I don’t think I’ll last long today, even after you did all this work for me.”

With that, Ren stood, bent over, and lifted Hux from the padded seat as if he weighed nothing, arms below his shoulders and knees. Hux went limp with astonishment, but before he could twist far enough to kick Ren and free himself, he’d been tossed atop the enormous bed, Ren crawling in after him.

“Enough games,” Ren growled, looking almost predatory as he propped himself up with an arm at Hux’s side, and a weight dropped in Hux’s chest. Ren rolled to his hands and knees, straddling Hux, his cock tenting the tiny gold underwear. His intensity had returned, the intensity that Hux knew well - Ren wore it like a second skin, one that made him dangerous in almost any situation. Hux had grown used to it, and almost forgot it was there when they were together. But it was the only thing anyone else saw when confronted with Kylo Ren.

Ren reached down, undoing the ceremonial cape and tossing it aside with a rustle of fabric, then pulling up Hux’s gown to reveal Hux’s own skimpy underwear, now damp with both Ren’s saliva and Hux’s own leaking cock.

Hux felt as if he should say something, should stop Ren before he continued. He hated being pushed around under any circumstances. In bed, Hux was always the one in charge. But Ren’s gaze still pinned him, and Hux’s mouth went dry, his protests dying in his throat.

“I’m not pushing you around.” Ren leaned in, expression still entirely unsuited to sex. “I’m not going to hurt you. This is what you deserve. To be worshipped. And it isn’t anything like you imagine. It's not something you can demand. It's a gift.”

Ren’s fingers found Hux’s temple, stroking gently at his hair.

Hux closed his eyes and exhaled. This was happening to him, and there was nothing he could do to stop Kylo Ren. But part of Hux knew that what he was about to allow was, in some ways, more frightening than if Ren had been inclined to physical force.

* * *

Hux blinked awake hours later, sweaty and thirsty in the dark room. He remembered everything in a sudden rush - his eagerness to take the trip, the ridiculous urge to wear the costumes and makeup. Stars, he’d even forced one of the palace servants to go along with everything. It hadn’t just been foolishness in front of Ren.

All of it amounted to a loss of control. He’d heard countless stories of indulgent weekends with partners, but none that were anything like what he and Ren had done together. He’d crossed a line.

He rose from the bed and made his way to the sad, curtained-off ‘fresher area to piss, steadying himself with a hand against the wall. His head ached, his dick ached. His muscles were sore from being bent and played with by Ren, who both overpowered him and had taken orders from Hux with worshipful tears in his eyes, something Hux would never forget as long as he lived. Just the memory of Ren’s gaze as he sucked Hux’s cock made his chest tighten.

He flushed and stared at the patterned wall of the royal quarters, bracing himself with two hands now. He corrected himself - the memory was good, not because of the expression on Ren’s face, but because Ren’s mouth should be illegal. Everything about what Ren said and did was a crime. No one had ever made Hux feel that way before.

 _Addicted_.

He grit his teeth. He was not addicted. He could stop whenever he liked. He was on leave. He could have sex with whoever he pleased. So could Ren.

_Would he? What if Ren used that mouth on someone else?_

He pushed himself angrily away from the wall and bent over the sink, drinking water directly from the faucet, the coolness a relief against his overly hot skin. He straightened and caught sight of his own reflection, and froze, horrified.

His hair was standing on end, from where both Ren and himself had their fingers in it. Hux had taken beatings during field exercises and looked more put together. The silver headpiece was missing, likely lying across one of the pillows, because the imprint of the metal formed a diagonal line across his forehead and cheek, running near the corner of his left eye.

The makeup was everywhere. Both the colorful green eye makeup and the base that had been used on his face were variously rubbed thin and smeared everywhere. He was humiliated to see the tear tracks from the corners of his eyes. The green lipstick was all over his face and chin.

He was _wrecked_ , absolutely debauched. Brendol would kill him with his bare hands if he saw. In fact, anyone could break into the suite and take a holo, and Hux’s career would be over. He would be laughed into wild space at best, and assassinated at worst.

He avoided the mirror and quickly walked back to the bed, his bare feet silent against the cool stone floor. He balled his hands into fists, looking into the bed, debating what to do. He had planned on staying all week with Ren. There was a palace and plenty of seized supplies in the capital city. It was a _vacation_.

Now, his every instinct was to flee.

“Don’t,” Ren said into the darkness of the room, suddenly and firmly.

Hux’s heart pounded in his chest. “What is it you think I’m about to do?”

Ren rolled over, eyes bright in the darkness. A thin sheet twisted around his legs and waist, covering his nudity, but not the dark hair spilling out over the pillow, and not the pale, mole-flecked skin of his broad chest, which had to be covered in smears of makeup and bite marks. 

Hux felt a sudden breeze across the chamber, chilly night air that carried the scent of damp stone. He turned to see that one of the large windows had been opened, filmy curtains stirring around the glass. He turned back, studying Ren in the bed, a strip of dim moonlight falling across his face and neck. 

_Ren looks beautiful like that_ , his traitorous mind offered. And the bed would be so warm.

Ren had explained to Hux several times before that he could read minds. In fact, it was part of his job when he did interrogations. Hux could accept that Ren was a skilled interrogator, and somehow learned whatever he needed from his prisoners. But he still didn’t fully believe everything Ren told him, and couldn’t accept that Ren could read his thoughts at will.

Still, as Hux admired his semi-nude body in the moonlight, a slow, shit-eating grin spread across his face. Kylo Ren rarely had occasion to smile, but when he did, Hux always thought it was unfair how well it suited him.

But as Hux’s gaze lingered on Ren’s mouth, he noticed the smears of lipstick and foundation around his lips, down his neck, and even all over his shoulders, which Hux vividly remembered sinking his teeth into repeatedly. The embarrassment of seeing both of them in this state was-

“You’re thinking of leaving,” Ren stated in a flat voice, and Hux’s gaze flicked back up to a more grave expression. “Because you’re afraid.”

Hux snorted, deflecting his uneasiness with a ready fight. “I’m not afraid of you.”

Unexpectedly, Ren’s mood swung again, and he laughed. “You’re the only one who would say that.”

“Don’t you have a band of knights that follows you around? Certainly they aren’t afraid of you.”

“They are.” Ren rolled over, making room on the bed. Hux unthinkingly slid under the sheet next to him. Ren was warm, and amused, and Hux didn’t really want to leave. The mattress had a warm indentation where Ren had been laying, and Hux curled into it, his back to Ren.

Ren continued, shifting closer to Hux. “Do you know how I became their leader?”

“Do I want to know?”

Hux felt one of Ren’s shoulders move against his back in a shrug. “Probably not. I mean, you can probably guess anyway. I killed the old Master. He said I needed a ‘good death’ to join the Knights of Ren. Taunted me with it. Told me I was weak.” Ren paused. “I’m not weak.”

The idea of Ren committing murder to join his little group was admittedly an appealing one. Hux knew the First Order wasn’t much different. But the idea of anyone calling Kylo Ren weak was ridiculous. That Ren was insecure enough to kill someone for the insult even more so.

“Did you honestly kill him for calling you weak?” Hux asked, incredulous. “You must be so insecure, waking up every morning able to do whatever you want. Maybe the old Master Knight was the last in a long line of childhood bullies.”

Ren rolled onto his side, facing Hux’s back. Hux refused to look at him, though he allowed it when Ren tangled their legs together. “Whatever I want?” Ren scoffed. “No. Not that. I want…” Ren paused, grunting in irritation. “I mean, I joined the Knights of Ren, and the First Order, because I wanted to learn more about my powers. About myself. I was always told to be a certain way, to be strong against the pull to the Dark side of the Force. I had a hard time stopping myself, when I lived with my family. Except now, when I- after I left,” he paused, stumbling over this, “I was told to resist the pull of the Light. But I still feel it. I’m weak to it, just like I used to be weak to the Dark. Ren, the guy I killed, he knew it. He thought I was too sentimental.”

Hux was silent for a moment, aware that Ren was trying to share something significant with him. Hux wasn’t in the mood. “Whatever theological point you are trying to make is lost on me. I have no idea what you’re blathering on about with your powers. But you are too sentimental. That must be terrible, getting called ‘sentimental’ growing up. I can’t imagine.”

Ren _hmmed_ , and sounded pleased by Hux’s response. “Did you get beat up a lot?”

“Yes.” Hux didn’t elaborate. Calling what had happened to Hux ‘getting beat up a lot’ was a radical understatement, but he was hardly going to bring it up in bed. And anyway, all that had made Hux into who he was. He would have truly been as weak as they’d accused if he hadn’t learned to take revenge over the years.

Silence sat uncomfortably between them. Ren, of course, broke it.

“Thinking of how to tell me to get out of your bed this time?”

Hux rolled his eyes, defensive again. “You _are_ sentimental, if you think sleeping together-”

“No. _You_ think sleeping together is sentimental. You’re afraid of it.”

“I was planning to stay here,” Hux replied hotly, rolling over to finally face Ren. It was a bad idea. The makeup smeared over Ren’s face was more obvious now, even in the darkness. Hux swallowed and brazened out the rest of what he wanted to say. “But perhaps you aren’t mature enough for that.”

“I’m not mature enough?” Ren looked amused, then smiled slowly. Hux immediately regretted the insult, as he was sure it would lead to something sexual. Despite Ren’s claims of being exhausted, he’d had far more stamina than Hux.

“I just want to sleep, Ren,” Hux began, but was quickly trapped in Ren’s arms. He struggled against Ren’s hold, warm and all-enveloping, but there was little chance of Hux freeing himself if Ren didn’t want to let go.

“What are you-”

As he began shouting, Ren pressed their foreheads together. Hux’s protest cut off in an inarticulate sound as he felt the _pull_ that meant another one of Ren’s visions-

* * *

_“Ben, you’re awake.”_

_The name curdled in Ren’s awareness as he opened his eyes, focusing on General Hux, hovering over him with a look of concern that was obviously staged. They were in an unfamiliar room, cold and dimly-lit and smelling of mold. A wave of powerful resentment washed through Ren when he heard the name Ben -_ why is Hux needling him now _\- but a moment later he noticed an older man lingering behind Hux, tired and unkempt and wearing a ragged, filthy uniform. The man was regarding Ren curiously, obviously surprised. Ren drew his brows down and looked back to Hux, deciding to trust him in the moment rather than asking directly._

_Trust. The sense of it hit Hux unfairly, like a blow, as he was once again held captive inside Ren’s body for the vision. He hated it when Ren showed him this version of their lives. The older Hux of the vision was once again in a general’s uniform, but one that was disheveled and covered in blood, a crust of it down the side of his face and matted in his hair from a head wound. A pang went through Ren as he noticed General Hux's injury. Ren wanted to wipe General Hux's face, to find bacta for his head wound and force him to rest. He was furious that General Hux had been injured in the accident, whatever that was._

_Hux hated the tenderness of the thought, and the anger Ren had for himself for_ allowing _such a thing, as if Hux couldn’t fight his own battles. Hux was also unreasonably angry that Ren would trust him as suddenly and unconditionally as he did in this vision. Ren shouldn’t trust Hux, or anyone else. Ren had not been taught the same lessons as Hux, clearly. It was weakness, and Ren would be killed for it eventually. Though Hux realized with a queasy feeling that if it was true in the present, Hux hadn't quite found a way to take advantage of it._ _Hux has no reason to betray him, now, or likely in this vision, where the harmless old man in front of them had clearly accepted whatever General Hux had told him._

_The situation seemed harmless, and there was no reason for Ren not to trust Hux. But every part of Hux loathed that he would._

_General Hux’s gaze flicked to the old man, then back to Ren. “It’s okay, you’ll be fine. I’ve called out, our friends have sent a shuttle. I’m sure your mother is worried sick, but we’ll be home soon thanks to Bylsma here.”_

_The mention of Ren’s mother sent a spike of rage through him. “My-” he blurted, but General Hux leaned forward, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing hard enough to make it ache. A sudden look of fury flashed across his face, turned so the old man couldn’t see him._

_“Come. You took quite a blow to the head. Let’s get you walking around, so I know you’re okay.”_

_Ren was confused by all of this. Why was Hux speaking of his mother to this stranger? Had Ren been injured? His back ached, but his head felt fine. He glanced around the small room, searching for his helmet, suddenly and oddly self-conscious about his appearance. That struck Hux as odd. His face? He didn’t want anyone to see his face? And why was he so defensive about his mother?_

_Ren believed General Hux was worried about him, though Hux disagreed. Ren was also having trouble remembering what had happened since the shipwreck - shipwreck? - so he stood, still fretting about his missing helmet, and realized that General Hux had likely fabricated the detail about a head injury so they could speak in private. General Hux placed a steadying hand at his waist._

_Ren wasn’t unsteady, and could walk just fine without General Hux’s help. But he wrapped an arm around General Hux’s waist in return, and the old man smiled at them as General Hux led them down the ramp and off whatever vessel they'd been aboard._

_“Limp,” General Hux whispered into his ear, the feel of his warm breath sending a shiver through Ren despite the situation. “Or look more injured. He has control of the creatures here.”_

_Ren remembered vaguely what General Hux was talking about, and Hux saw a memory of Ren fighting an enormous alien beast. His urge to protect General Hux, who had fled into the bushes, was still so powerful that a pang of anxiety wracked him. Ren had been distracted during the fight by not knowing where General Hux was. He'd sensed more of the monsters, but not General Hux's location. The distraction had caused him to be attacked - a big paw had swiped at his helmet, and Ren had blacked out._

_Hux was horrified. Hiding from conflict was a good strategy, especially against unknown land monsters like the ones Ren had seen. Hux would hardly jump into a fight with one the way Ren had. But… the idea that he had hidden, and let Ren fight the battle for him? And Ren had done it willingly?_

_Ren’s blind trust from earlier came back to Hux, making him uneasy. Hux simply didn’t do_ _that. Certainly his flight hadn't had anything to do with trusting Ren with the monsters. Did it? Or had he known that Ren would protect him, and used that to his advantage? It didn't make sense. He didn’t understand why someone would bother. Especially someone like Ren, for someone like Hux._

_Ren was wary and angry as General Hux led them away from a Republic-era derelict corvette. His thoughts stalled on whatever accident had stranded them on the planet. He furiously turned over possibilities about what had happened to their ship. Had the ship genuinely malfunctioned? Not possible, it had to be sabotage, though Ren believed that most First Order officers didn’t have the stomach to cross him like that. Sneaking around behind his back was in character, however, which was something Hux agreed with. Ren wanted to resolve the situation immediately, the desire to feel the perpetrator's life ending in the Force was a visceral need that twisted in Ren’s chest. Hux was impressed by how badly Ren wanted to kill this suspect, after he’d complained so bitterly about killing before._

_Ren’s thoughts strayed to how long they’d been on the planet, and how long he’d been unconscious. He glanced at the sky, but it was the same dim orange twilight he recognized from earlier. He had no idea what the day cycle was like._

_“When you said we had friends, was that code for ‘we’re getting rescued’, or are you playing some head game with that old man?”_

_“Both,” General Hux answered before looking over, a neutral expression on his face. They were walking slower now, at the edge of the clearing where the old man’s ship had come to rest. “I did manage to call out earlier, and they confirmed they were sending a ship for us. But the old man may be under the impression that we work for Leia Organa.”_

_Ren was confused and a little hurt. “Why?”_

_“The Galactic civil war is ongoing, for him, and that seemed safer than telling him the truth, lest he be forced to take sides in the current conflict.”_

_“So you told him who I used to be.” Ren was genuinely angry about whatever this was, apparently saw it as a betrayal of his trust in a way that Hux didn’t understand. Hux had no idea what they were talking about. Did his name used to be Ben, before he killed the leader of the Knights of Ren? Who was his mother?_

_General Hux eyed him, looking amused. “I swear to you, it will not leave this planet.”_

_Ren was somewhat mollified by this, though he continued to nurse some sort of petty wound - not the betrayal of trust he’d felt about General Hux telling a stranger about his former life, but something about how he’d been unconscious while General Hux dealt with the old man by himself. Ren felt it had been too dangerous, and General Hux should have stayed hidden. Hux was insulted on his own behalf. As if he couldn’t take care of some old man._

_“But we are. Leaving the planet,” Ren continued, his thoughts drifting back to General Hux’s comm. “Who did you speak to?”_

_General Hux stopped at the edge of the forest, turning to regard the downed corvette they’d left moments ago. He looked back to Ren, his expression giving nothing away. Hux admired his own severity, that he managed it even with the dried blood on his face, even with someone he was more relaxed around in private. “No one. I sent an SOS out on an emergency frequency, and received an automated confirmation that a transport was enroute to our coordinates.”_

_Ren’s mood turned dark. “I take it our ship did not broadcast any sort of distress or tracking.”_

_General Hux closed his eyes, his expression going pinched, and to Hux’s surprise, he sat down on a rock, propping his chin in a hand on his knee. It was downright relaxed, the opposite of his poise a moment ago. Ren seemed surprised as well._

_“No. No, I wouldn’t think so.”_

_Ren, furious, darted his gaze up to the dim, purple-ish horizon visible at the treeline. There was a silver moon and a few faint stars hanging in the sky that Ren took no notice of. “So who were they trying for? You, or me?”_

_“Can’t it be both?” General Hux stood again, brushing the back of his jodhpurs off, though Hux thought they were beyond saving. “I’ll see to it when we get back.”_

_“You will?” Ren turned his fury on General Hux, his fists clenching at his sides. Something pulled at his heart, and Hux felt a wave of protectiveness and possessiveness that made him dizzy. “I will. I’ll hunt them down, I’ll fucking find them-”_

_“No.” General Hux’s voice was quiet, but it was still an order. He laid a palm against Ren’s chest. “I’ll hunt them down. The hand that did this had a subtlety about it-” General Hux's gaze darted away, then back._

_“You suspect someone?” Ren was curious, though still obsessively going down a list of older officers, most of whom Hux recognized. Ha. Good to know his enemies were the same, in whatever this vision was supposed to be._

_“No.” General Hux’s expression tightened for a moment, but he left his palm on Ren’s chest. “You will let me do this my way. I don’t need you to take care of it for me.”_

_Ren wanted to argue, and opened his mouth to do so. But he stared into General Hux’s eyes, and the feeling of trust came over him, chased again by the possessiveness. “But they hurt you.”_

_Ren’s hand strayed up the side of General Hux’s face, to the dried blood on his cheek. His thumb worked at it, some of it flaking off under Ren’s fingers. To Hux’s surprise, General Hux grabbed his wrist, and Ren cupped his hand around General Hux’s cheek._

_It was too sentimental. The old man was_ right there _. Hux felt his own sensibilities twisting, even while Ren’s temper was mollified. Ren closed his eyes a moment, and Hux felt the sense of Ren's thoughts drifting. There was an uncanny sensation - Hux felt something familiar, suddenly, except it was warm affection, similar to what Ren felt. Ren seemed immensely pleased by this, and seemed amused that General Hux felt the same way he did._

_Hux was confused - what had happened? What did the older version of himself feel?_

_A moment later, General Hux spoke. "_ _They hurt you. And I’ll find them. This is my fight, not yours.”_

 _Hux was incredulous at this response, but thought that perhaps the older version of himself was telling Ren what he wanted to hear. It didn't seem to spark the same kind of pleasure as whatever Ren had done with his powers, though it did seem to calm him. Ren left his eyes closed,_ _willing himself to let the argument go, though his thoughts still lingered on the incident. T_ _hey’d hurt Hux, and the ship had exploded, the only thing that had saved them-_

_Hux suddenly got a vague sense of some sort of miracle that Ren had performed with his powers to keep the ship from dissolving in orbit. Ren believed that he'd held the ship together by sheer force of will, holding it in a bubble of atmosphere as it sliced through the extreme heat of planetary entry while in flaming pieces from an internal explosion. It seemed impossible, and Hux discarded it immediately as Ren’s thoughts skipped over it._

_“You’ve done enough.” General Hux’s fingers pressed between Ren’s, holding his hand in place against his face. “You know I appreciate having you, Ren. That you will always be on my side. I will tell you if and when I need your help.”_

_This admission was almost as good as a declaration of love, much to Ren's pleasure and Hux's horror. Ren leaned closer, his arms wrapping around General Hux’s shoulders, his face settling against his neck._

_“I know. You save me, too.” There was a vague sense, again, of Ren’s powers, of the idea that Hux somehow balanced him and let him be himself. Hux didn’t follow whatever logic that was, but he did understand that Ren wanted to keep General Hux, and wanted to do something for him right now._

_A hand came up, stroking through Ren’s tangled hair. Ren returned the gesture, his fingers carefully probing the blood-stiff hair around General Hux’s head injury. Ridiculously, Ren was close to tears at the thought of General Hux dying. The despair of it hit Hux just as hard as the rest of Ren’s emotions._

_Ridiculous. To be so affected by the loss of a single person. Weakness. So attached._

_And yet. The feel of General Hux’s fingers in Ren’s hair and against his scalp was a comfort, one that soothed Ren's anger and despair. Because Hux was in Ren's thoughts, he felt it too, though it was uncanny that the comfort came from his own hand._

_After embracing in the woods for several minutes like fools, Ren’s thoughts drifted back to the accident, obsessively looping it through his thoughts, trying to determine what caused it. Eventually, he pushed away from General Hux, an idea occurring to him._

_“We’ll need to report in to the Supreme Leader. He’ll have me investigate who crashed the shuttle, as an exercise of my powers.”_

_General Hux scoffed and stepped back, his usual severe expression back in place. “He’ll consider it a waste of your powers, and will allow me to sort it out.” He gestured dismissively, and began walking deeper into the forest, where darkness and shadows would hide them from the old man. The air was chilly, but the twilight didn’t seem to be deepening. Ren followed, ready for an argument._

_“You suddenly seem very sure of the Supreme Leader’s thoughts.”_

_“It’s not a question of what the Supreme Leader thinks,” General Hux answered airily, the lightness of his tone belying the seriousness of this conversation. “I do know what he thinks. We both do.” General Hux glanced over his shoulder for a moment, and Ren suppressed a spike of anger directed at the Supreme Leader. “I’m disposable, but useful. You’re his favorite tool, regardless of what that means for you. He will always do and order the most brutal thing, and the Order’s direction suffers for it.”_

_Ren glanced back to the old man’s derelict corvette. He was annoyed by the turn of conversation, apparently they’d had it before. This did not surprise Hux in the least, though his own treason did. Since when had he spoken against the Supreme Leader and the direction of the First Order?_

_“The Order is not currently balanced," Ren said testily._

_“It’s not_ justice _,” General Hux elaborated, his voice growing more steady. “It’s not the direction the Order was meant to follow. We're making the same mistakes as the Empire. I want equality. The Supreme Leader does not.”_

_Ren licked his lips and debated telling General Hux something, something that was unclear to Hux. It was good, but something he was worried about. Not a lie, not quite. But not true. As he fought himself, Ren's anger simmered, and his thoughts drifted to how they both could have died. After a few moments, he makes a decision, and spoke aloud to General Hux._

_“I saw,” he began, taking a few long strides to catch up to General Hux's side. “I saw him die. The Supreme Leader. Well. I sensed it, that his life would end soon.”_

_Ren was worried about saying this, was vaguely frightened that the Supreme Leader - Snoke? - would somehow find out. He scanned his thoughts carefully for the presence of the Supreme Leader. The idea that whoever this was could read Ren’s thoughts distantly and at will terrified Hux. Could Ren do this to him, or was this something that was unique to... whatever went on between Ren and the Supreme Leader?_

_The Supreme Leader of the First Order was a vague, shadowy figure to Hux. No public holos existed, nor was it entirely clear to Hux how he wound up at the head of the organization. He was aware that Ren served him in some way, that he was Ren’s master and might have similar powers. But Hux barely believed that Ren could do half the things he claimed. Was the Supreme Leader some sort of childhood nightmare come to life?_

_The feel of the name in Ren’s thoughts sent a chill through Hux. Ren seemed to think so. Hux turned away from this._

_General Hux stopped dead in his tracks, turning to look at Ren, his expression intent. “How? How will it happen, and when?”_

_“I don’t know. I didn't see anything specific. I didn’t want to tell you, because it could take a long time.” Ren looked down, then back up. “But I sensed it. I’m never wrong.”_

_Hux felt the truth of it inside Ren, in a way that made him sick. Ren had never lied to him, not about his powers, and not about what he claimed these visions were. The future._

_“Yes. You’re never wrong.” General Hux closed the distance between them, his hands bunching in Ren’s tunic, then crushed their mouths together in a kiss. It was brutal, and Ren believed it to be full of General Hux's love. Ren thrilled at the idea that no one else made him feel like this, only Hux._

_“You’re right, and it will happen. We will see to it,” General Hux finally murmured against Ren's mouth. Hux's own blue eyes were bright in the low twilight, and Ren’s hands held General Hux's waist. Hux felt Ren's acute, ardent love, and the way it made him unsteady. Ren was nearly shaking with it, and he leaned in and kissed General Hux again, softer now, and longer._

_General Hux allowed it for several long moments before leaning away, studying Ren’s face in the darkness. "Thank you for telling me.”_

_Unexpectedly, he wrapped his arms around Ren’s chest and drew their bodies together. He pressed his cheek against Ren’s, and Ren could feel his eyelashes move as General Hux blinked._

_“I do love you. You know that.”_

_It was so quiet, it was nearly lost in the eerie sound of the wind through the branches of the trees. But their faces were close, and Ren heard it. Ren clenched his eyes shut against the worry from earlier, the thought of nearly losing Hux making him desperate. He shifted his hands, wrapping his arms around General Hux's back and squeezing him tight to confirm that he was real, that they were still together._

_“I do. Know. And I love you too.”_

_The forest had gone eerily quiet, the sound of the wind the only thing that carried. Hux was reeling in Ren’s thoughts, overwhelmed that there was some version of himself that would say these things, that would act this way. He tried to find a motive, some way that he must be playing Ren for an advantage._

_He didn’t have long to think, because the embrace was soon interrupted by one of the monstrous animals that had attacked Ren earlier. An enormous fanged blue cat lumbered into the clearing, its huge glittering eyes studying them._

_Ren and General Hux tightened their grips on one another, and Ren held his breath for several moments, waiting for the creature to strike, wondering if the old man had taken his lightsaber away. But the creature did nothing - it simply stared for several long moments, then sat, licking one of its massive paws and beginning some sort of grooming ritual._

_General Hux was the first to step back, keeping one arm around Ren, but a wary eye on the creature. “Bylsma mentioned he commanded the creatures. They only listen to him. Apparently, he told them not to attack us.”_

_“They did enough damage earlier,” Ren replied sullenly, scanning the creature’s thoughts in a way that made little sense to Hux - he could feel the intent, just as easily as he could study the creature’s movements. It was bored and uninterested, only mildly curious about the two of them. There was a sense of ownership about their location, but nothing that Ren seemed to fully grasp or care about._

_General Hux sighed. “They did. They would have killed you.” He paused, taking a step back to get a better look at the creature. “Remarkable, that he can command them so well.”_

_A pang of jealousy shot through Ren. “Not really. I could do it too.”_

_General Hux rolled his eyes. “I’ll keep that in mind for the next time we need an army of monsters.” He frowned. “I wish I had my blaster.”_

_Ren was still generally unhappy, both because the creature had attacked them earlier, and for interrupted them in the clearing. The more he looked at it, the more hate roiled through him._

_“We don’t need weapons.”_

_Before General Hux could respond, Ren thrust a hand up at the creature’s head, and Hux felt another uncanny sensation of_ pulling _, some sense of the creature that he couldn’t understand. Abruptly, the sense of it vanished, the sharp_ snap _of it the same as it had been in the vision of the girl in the interrogation chamber._

_The creature folded as if boneless, collapsing to the forest floor. General Hux sighed, crossing his arms and looking down at it._

_“I told you, I can take care of myself.” There was an edge of warning in his voice, and Hux was amazed that he appeared completely unfazed by whatever Ren had just done to the creature._

_“Does the old man like these things?”_

_“Yes, they’re some sort of pet.” General Hux turned to look at Ren, smirking slightly. “I suppose this will be less obvious than a blaster wound.”_

_Ren shrugged, turning and heading back to the clearing. “If he notices that thing is missing, we never saw it. It looks like it just dropped dead. Who knows how fragile those are.”_

_The casual death of the creature was again shocking to Hux, yet another unwelcome surprise within this vision. Ren’s unnecessary brutality, when it had been completely harmless even after a scan with Ren’s magic, was cruel in a way that Hux didn’t think Ren capable of. Its death seemed to bring Ren some sort of petty satisfaction, but he soon forgot it. It wasn’t even a kind of revenge for Ren. He’d just done it because he could._

_General Hux laughed, catching up to his side and walking with his hands crossed behind his back. “See? You’re getting to be more like a member of the First Order every day.”_

* * *

The vision ended there, and Hux plunged back into his own awareness, strangely bereft after the variety and intensity of Ren’s thoughts and emotions. It took him a moment to collect himself, to remember who and where he was - the who was clear enough, the memory of the luxurious bed in the royal chambers of the Payzen government complex coming to him after a moment. Ren’s body was hot in the dark. Hux had rolled over during the vision, and Ren was nestled close against his back, his arms wrapped around his chest.

Anger and indignation washed through Hux, intensified slightly when he realized he felt neither as strongly as Ren had in the visions. Still, he untangled their bodies and turned to face Ren, glaring at him in the darkness. He hated seeing Ren in the visions, feeling everything that Ren felt, especially about himself. He hated seeing and hearing the older version of himself. If that was the future, they'd both changed so much.

He hated _feeling_ all of it.

“I told you not to do that,” Hux said defensively, instead of admitting any of that aloud.

Ren seemed unperturbed by the outburst. He studied Hux’s face in the dark, his expression unreadable. “Why?”

Hux didn't have an answer. Why, indeed? It was disturbing, it made him consider himself weak, it was-

“It’s not true,” he blurted, embarrassed by how petulant it sounded. “It’s just… a trick.”

“The vision?” Ren raised his eyebrows. “You still believe that? That I can’t manipulate the Force to share my visions with-”

“Stop. It’s simply… hypnosis. It’s what _you_ want.”

“What I want? All the possible futures I could make up, and I make up one where we crash-land on a planet and you tell me I can’t kill someone for hurting us? I fantasize that you tell someone my old name?”

“Your… name.” Hux had forgotten that part of the dream, and he pushed the argument aside, knowing he was being foolish. “Ben. Why would I use that, rather than Kylo or Ren?”

Ren pinched his eyes shut. “I've never seen more than that, but- he was wearing-”

“Yes…” Hux remembered the man’s uniform, pictured it more clearly. He was a diligent student of uniforms. “He was wearing the uniform of the Alderaanian palace guard. He should have been dead. I’ve never seen one outside a holo before.” He supposed he still hadn’t, perhaps that was part of Ren’s trick.

Except even that sounded… not right.

“Alderaan,” Ren spat, rolling over onto his back. “Yeah. So you told him who I used to be.”

“What? Part of the Alderaanian diaspora? Who could you possibly be, that a palace guard would recognize your name when you were born after the war?”

Ren was silent and seething. Meanwhile, Hux’s mood had improved drastically.

“Are you some sort of prince, then?”

“Yes,” Ren replied thinly, turning his head to glare at Hux.

The admission was amusing, until the implications of it hit Hux, in a dawning sense of horror. “You’re the prince of the Alderaanian diaspora. Which means, when I mentioned your mother-”

“The guard would have known her, yeah, because Leia Organa is my mother. My name was Ben Organa-Solo before I joined the Knights of Ren.”

A new kind of horror hit Hux, unrelated to what was between them. _Senator_ Organa? One of the founders of the New Republic? Rumored to lead the Resistance movement that was harrying the First Order? And _Solo_ was… the general, the one from the war-

“Are you joking?”

“No.” Ren turned more fully to face him, furious, but his expression soon softened. “You would have found out somehow.”

“How?” Hux almost shouted, propping himself up on an elbow. “I could have gone the rest of my life without learning that!”

He thought about the vision again, and how it wasn’t real. Maybe this, what Ren was telling him now, wasn’t real either. This was only part of the vision. And there was… simply no way, that the grown son of Leia Organa was-

Was.

Hux studied Ren’s features, seeing more of it. Ren was angry, reluctant to tell him any of this. Ren had never been shy about sharing any part of himself with Hux before, but it was true they hadn’t talked about their pasts. Hux had avoided it, knowing that relating his own would be difficult and that Ren might pity him, which would be intolerable.

Hux couldn’t believe that what Ren had hidden was, in some ways, _worse_.

“It’s real,” Ren said into the silence between them, and Hux was overwhelmed for a moment, trying to remember if Ren could read his thoughts, or if this was obvious, but if he was magic-

“It’s real. Also, it’s forbidden knowledge. The Supreme Leader decreed that I'm not allowed to tell anyone. The name isn’t meant to be spoken aloud.” Ren made a face. “If you tell anyone, you’ll be killed. Probably by me.”

“Who would I tell?” Hux blurted, still overwhelmed. Ren was a _prince of Alderaan_? Leia Organa’s son? So all the things they’d done earlier, that was… Ren was real royalty, and-

Ren narrowed his eyes, seeming to take Hux’s incredulity in earnest. “Do you think rumors about it would do anything for my reputation? The Supreme Leader’s? The Knights of Ren? What do you think my mother would do, if she found out where I was and what I was doing?”

“It’s not as if I gossip with fellow officers, and none would believe me if I did, but…” Hux paused. “Are you saying you’re afraid of your mother breaking up the First Order? Like we’re a group of delinquent students?”

Ren snorted, looking more relaxed. “No. But it’s hard to tell how she’ll react. And she’s dangerous. Don’t underestimate her.”

Hux opened his mouth to dismiss that, but then closed it. Perhaps Ren was right. Perhaps he should study Leia Organa more closely. He knew something of her, with the history everyone was taught at the academies now. But… she was still fighting a war, if the rumors were true about her Resistance. And perhaps Ren could offer some insight.

Hux rolled onto his back, considering this, and considering how much it must have cost Ren to tell him. Knowing something so forbidden that he would be killed was intriguing, if Hux was honest with himself, but it was functionally useless to know. No one would believe him.

“It’s not useless,” Ren interrupted his thoughts. “You know more about me now.”

More evidence that Ren was a mind-reader. Hux didn’t want to know that. Emphatically did not want to know that. But he was exhausted, after experiencing so much in one night, both the marathon sex and Ren’s tedious vision. And arguing with Ren always made him tired. His thoughts began to drift.

“You can’t kick me out of this bed,” Ren broke in. “It’s mine.”

“I wasn’t going to kick you out of the bed,” Hux answered indignantly, realizing that he was suddenly on the edge of falling asleep, even after that particularly bad news.

“You always kick me out.”

Hux didn’t like sleeping with people. He’d never shared a bed before, and had slept in a room by himself ever since he’d moved out of the academy dormitories. Sleeping in his own bed was a privilege. It was astonishing that he’d fallen asleep next to Ren earlier in the evening, though he’d been quite exhausted after they’d finished. It was even stranger that it had begun to happen just now.

“If it makes you feel any better, you’re not really sleeping with me. You’re just sleeping, and I’m nearby.”

Hux wanted to tell Ren how ridiculous that was, but it was also strangely comforting. He forced himself to relax, to stop thinking of sharing the bed. Ren had rolled away to the other side, though Hux could still hear his breathing. He quickly drifted off to sleep, dwelling on Ren’s possessiveness in the vision he’d just seen. That had been nice, to be wanted so ardently. To have someone care that much if Hux died.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The setup for the vision, and some of the early dialogue, is taken from the Hux comic. Unfortunately, I had to make up the angsty/romantic walk in the woods.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight warning for the bad xeno vibes in this chapter - Hux hates aliens! He especially hates the way Snoke looks, and is very unkind about it.
> 
> There's also a scene where Hux vomits, if that's an issue. Stop at the end of the vision, and most of the rest of what happens should be obvious in the next chapter.

Hux jolted awake as he swayed forward, falling asleep at his desk out of sheer exhaustion. He was approaching two standard cycles without sleep, and his third round of stims had apparently worn off. He rubbed the spot between his brows, then stretched his shoulders and massaged his neck. At least he’d moved to his private quarters, and there was no one to see him asleep at work.

His extracurricular research had only increased once he’d been assigned to the weapons programs. He designed and carefully monitored the trooper weapon courses himself, both the exercises and the field results. He also advised what kind of equipment should be developed, and exact specifications for Trooper use. So far, it had gone well. The nascent weapons program he’d encouraged among the scientists and technicians was growing, and most of his suggestions for upgrades, strategic deployment, and general kit enhancements had been well-received by High Command.

All of it was positive, but too slow. Incremental upgrades for guns and trooper armor would accomplish nothing within Hux’s lifetime at the current rate. It would keep more bodies alive, but it wouldn’t win wars. Hux’s pleas to expand the program to even heavy weaponry and ground equipment has so far fallen on deaf ears.

“You don’t need them to tell you you’re a genius, Hux.”

Hux barely managed to stifle a shout, but he jumped in his chair at the unexpected interruption. Furious, he turned around to glower at Kylo Ren, who had taken to inviting himself into Hux’s quarters as he liked.

“Must you barge in here without comming me? How do you gain access?”

Ren waved a hand, and Hux’s datapad blanked, then slid off the back of his desk, crashing to the floor. “Access is easy. I sent you a comm hours ago. And I rang the comm on your door. You just didn’t notice.”

Frowning, Hux retrieved his datapad and found that, yes, Ren had commed him earlier that day, then again nearly five hours ago. Hux glanced up again, squinting at Ren in the darkness. The lights in his suite had dimmed at the beginning of delta shift, and he’d been sitting in the dark staring into his screens ever since.

Ren had apparently entered some time ago, and made himself comfortable. He was reclined on Hux’s bed, naked, because he was a barbarian. Even in the darkness of the chamber, he looked the worse for wear. His arms and torso were covered in bruises, and he had the raw meat look of a healing blaster wound on his left thigh. He was blinking at Hux, looking as if he’d been sleeping.

How long had he been sleeping in Hux’s bed, with Hux completely oblivious?

Hux was beyond tired. There were three hours to the start of his shift, and he needed sleep badly. He needed to kick Ren out of his bed too, but instead, he found himself blanking his screens to cast the room into darkness, then stripping off the previous day’s uniform and climbing between the sheets in just his undershorts. Ren, laying on top of the sheets, rolled over to join Hux underneath, pressing an arm against Hux’s back as he settled. His skin was hot, and felt as good as it always did in the chill suite.

In recent months, he’d gotten into the habit of sleeping with Ren, after Ren rightly pointed out they’d done it for a week on Payzen and nothing bad had happened. Still, it had taken Hux months to come to terms with the idea. It wasn’t codependence, Hux decided. He liked sleeping with Ren. It was a nice incentive for all the work he put into the First Order. And having Ren was a comfort. He slept better. He relieved stress with Ren. Ren was a _friend_ , a better one than he’d had his entire life.

 _Weak_ , he thought to himself, and pushed it away. He’d gotten good at that, too. And he was too tired to fight himself tonight.

He said nothing else to Ren as he settled, either that he was right about Hux missing his comms, or about his smell. It was obvious he’d been somewhere foul. He smelled of mud and sulfur, different than the usual post-mission sweat and body odor that Hux had grown to like during sex. Hux should make him shower, should say something about him climbing into the bed like this, but Hux hadn’t cleaned up either, and he was simply too tired.

Ren’s arm was pressed against his back, and he could feel that Ren was trembling and stiff, even after sleeping for several hours. Whatever he’d been doing before he got to Hux’s quarters, he’d been affected by it.

Hux rolled over, draping an arm across Ren chest, and began rubbing weakly at Ren’s shoulder with his fingers. The muscles were very stiff below his fingers. Ren sighed, rolling onto his side and wrapping his own arm around Hux, crushing him into his chest. Hux stilled, and sensed that Ren was relaxing, breathing much more regularly. He let his own thoughts drift, lost in Ren’s warmth.

“This is what people who love each other do.”

Hux stiffened at the comment, tossed out carelessly in the dark. Hux didn't respond, so of course Ren continued.

“This is how people love each other. There’s nothing bad or wrong about sharing a bed, or comforting each other, or being a friend. It’s not weak. It’s good for both of us. You care whether I’ve had a bad day, and I care about what upsets you. It’s not a bad thing. It would be easier for both of us if you accepted it.”

Hux didn’t want to hear it, still, even after the nearly two years they’d been together. It was not how it was between them. They were friends, close friends. Rather than arguing with Ren about this _again_ , he decided to distract Ren by talking about what he’d been working on. Perhaps Ren just needed conversation, and would go back to sleep.

“I’ve been looking at the old Project Stardust files. To see if we could adapt an updated version of the tech for our own purposes.”

Ren was silent for a moment. “The Death Star? Really? Look, I know you don’t like hearing about love, but do we have to talk about this? I mean, I grew up having to hear about it a lot. Since they used it to blow up Alderaan in front of my mother out of spite. Famously.”

“Do you care? Really?”

Ren sighed, and shifted against Hux. His chest and arms were still hot against Hux’s skin. “No. Tell me what you’re working on.”

“Well. I'm just looking it over to try to adapt to more practical heavy weaponry. We’re improving in a lot of areas, and we’re reaching the point where we can fast-track small skirmishes and pacification efforts, and won’t have to suffer heavy casualties for victory. But our development is still too focused on individual soldiers. We won’t get anywhere at this rate, and I don’t want to wait.”

“I thought you were patient.”

“Only when I need to be. I’ve been very patient about this project. I want new heavy weapons. Something no one has thought of before.” He actually wanted something like the Death Star, but stationary, and able to fire anywhere in the galaxy. One of the physicists had speculated on the possibility, and Hux had been investigating it since. They would only need to fire it once at a high-profile unoccupied system in the core to prove its effectiveness. “We need ground-based canons, siege weapons, upgraded AT-ATs. If we can push our limit farther, we could build a new fleet of Dreadnoughts that would make aerial bombardments a legitimate threat.”

Something told him not to mention his actual project, the new version of the Death Star. He wanted to tell Ren about it, but… Ren was right, he was some sort of Alderaanian prince. Perhaps it was best to keep that to himself. But it was a perfect strategy. If it was shielded and guarded, they would never have to use it, and the threat would be enough to bring almost any system to heel. They could use it to fire on moons around occupied planets for the truly stubborn. It wouldn’t need to be deadly, it would only need to be accurate.

“Those are all just guns. Ships and guns. You only need to get inside their range to disable them.” There was a slight sneer in Ren’s voice, and Hux got defensive.

“I know planetary assaults are your specialty. But no one else has Kylo Ren. And besides, I’m having a few people work on shielding. They’re making a lot of progress, and I’ve recently been approved for a budget increase to expand the team. I want shields on the guns, I want shields for our TIEs to make them less disposable than the Empire’s, and I want shielding on the Dreadnoughts.”

Hux’s fatigue had vanished, and he was eager to have an audience for his theories, however tired Ren was of hearing him talk about weapons. The end goal was planetary shielding. He might be able to argue the effectiveness of that for First Order settlements, but he knew the idea was so fringe that he would be laughed into a lifetime mining posting. He was slowly edging the tech forward himself, though. Planetary shielding, along with a strong compliment of Dreadnoughts, Destroyers, and new TIEs, would make Hux’s superweapon invincible.

“It doesn’t matter how strong your shielding is. If someone gets inside it, you’re dead. It’s not an airtight strategy.”

“Then should I wait for the next great idea? Wring my hands and wonder when someone will bring it to me? This is something we can do now, we have a path in front of us. It’s foolish not to take it.”

Hux had rolled away from Ren and onto his back, realizing he was too agitated. He couldn’t see Ren’s face in the darkness, but he could feel his arm across his waist, the comforting weight and heat of him in bed. No matter what Hux said, Ren would stay with him. He could tell him about the new weapon. He should. But something stopped him.

“Hux. You should go to sleep. You get like this when you don’t sleep.”

“Like what?” he asked sharply.

“ _Fanatical_. Where is all this tech coming from? Are you doing all the research yourself? I know you’ve been studying the science for it, but you’re not an expert. There’s no way you can pull all this off without other people.”

“I can-” he stopped himself. He was doing exactly that. He had every type of scientist he could find to test theories for his superweapon. He did so, masquerading his ideas as other types of weapon development. No one had the whole picture. The geologist was feeding him steady data about types of mining and planetary stability. Another was researching types of energy matrices, yet another was investigating the possibility of sending weaponry via hyperspace and black holes. The shielding looked as if it was being applied elsewhere. Physics, engineering, he had legitimate reasons for employing them all, and they all helped him out with his little questions. None of them would ever guess what he was doing with it.

Ren… better to keep it from Ren right now, too.

“I’m not doing it myself, but the coordination is… more difficult than I anticipated. I need a general knowledge of what everyone is doing in order to organize the project. I’m losing sleep, but it’s working. We’re approaching the beginnings of a new orbital bombardment strategy. That will be a great step forward.”

Ren was silent. Hux realized that Ren was probably correct, and that he’d been ranting at him rather than having a conversation. He really did need sleep. He and Ren both. But now he couldn’t stop himself.

“I thought you would be more pleased to hear about this.” Hux hadn’t, he hadn’t considered at all what Ren would think. But he realized it was true as he said it. “This type of strategy will mean less work for you on the ground.”  
  
Hux felt Ren’s body tense next to him, his grip tighten on Hux’s shoulders. He realized too late that it was the wrong thing to say.

“Make my life easier? _My life_? You mean the endless missions where I go out and kill people? Innocent people, mostly, who don’t have a chance of fighting back against a stormtrooper, let alone me?” Ren inhaled a shaky breath. It had been some time since they’d talked about Ren’s doubts, Ren’s treason. Hux remembered when it used to worry him. He'd thought Ren might be an ISB agent, and then that Ren might be found out by one. The latter still might happen, if Ren didn't enjoy the kind of protection he seemed to believe he had from the Supreme Leader. If Ren was taken away for treason, Hux would never see him again. 

Ren’s protests were more genuine and distressed than they had been when they'd met, and it tugged at Hux in a way he should not have allowed.

“Sometimes, it’s hard to know that my lightsaber is the last thing that so many people see. For no good reason. I can _feel_ it, their fear, just as I can feel your certainty that all of this will work." Ren paused, and Hux could feel him shift next to him. "Most days, I know this is what I chose for myself. I mean, I’m learning a lot about the Force, and my power is growing, and that’s what I wanted. But how will the large canons stop me from having to strip the truth from people’s minds and torture them? How is any of this making my life better? How is any of this making anything better?”

Hux knew Ren wouldn’t like the answer. But it was still the truth, and Hux wouldn’t lie to Ren. “I know there’s been more… aggressive invasions recently-”

“ _Aggressive invasions_ ,” Ren replied, mocking. “You know there’s been more aggressive invasions. How? It’s only because I told you about them. Those aren’t in the propaganda. I see that. I see that every other member of the Order thinks the recruitment drives are voluntary and successful, years after the quotas started.”

Hux said nothing to this. He was still the one that organized the daily props, though he had little say about what they contained. He's given the necessary information by High Command and converts it to a format that's consumable for every officer, soldier, tech, and janitor in the First Order. It takes him twenty minutes as he drinks his first caf of the day, and he thinks little about it afterward. He knows what High Command tells him differs from what Ren is experiencing. But there must be a reason.

Ren’s voice goes lower. “You think so too. You think it’s all voluntary. You think I’m lying to you.”

“No. I know you’re not lying to me.”

“Then who’s lying to you, Hux? Why? You don’t think it’s wrong, that even you aren’t being given the larger view of the Order’s activities?”

Hux rolled over, agitated, and with nothing to say to Ren. The reason everyone was kept in the dark was probably for morale and secrecy. Ren wouldn’t want to hear that. Hux squeezed his eyes shut, all the old arguments coming to him. What they did was still better than the Republic, who starved out systems to legally allow others to hoard wealth. The Republic let grievances go unanswered, to fester and explode into war. They tied every solution in neat bureaucratic red tape, making all of them inaccessible and prolonging suffering.

He’d said all of it before. Ren no longer believed that the First Order was doing better, and that hurt Hux. If Ren didn’t believe it, and Ren was on the front lines, what did that really mean? Was Ren kept in the dark about the greater purpose, too? Why? The point was to be better than the Republic, but Ren claimed the First Order was actively killing people, as opposed to the Republic’s passivity.

Ren spoke into the silence. “Are we better than the Republic?”

Hux rolled back over, facing Ren. Facing Ren’s mind reading, his magic powers. Ren delighted in them as much as he suffered because of them. After all, his mind reading had given him no insight into what he was doing for the First Order.

“Are we better than the Republic?” Ren repeated, almost a demand. “I want to know. I grew up watching the Republic fail, even when it was being reorganized. I saw people starve, I watched well-meaning politicians being turned away by a majority with an agenda. I saw them make the decision not to have an army, to let the systems act for themselves. That's one of the reasons I was okay with working for the First Order. But Hux,” His voice grew more pleading, “now the First Order’s answer to all those problems is to kill people, or to just make them disappear. Systems, towns, governments, all of it goes away if they say the wrong thing, or if they find a corrupt official.”

Hux’s mouth went dry. He could say nothing to that, because he knew it was true. Ren rolled onto his back, away from Hux, and continued. “I guess it’s quicker and more humane. Maybe I’d be okay with it too, if I wasn’t doing it every day.”

Hux felt a pang of remorse. Ren was still the hero of the First Order, and Hux truly didn’t want him to feel this way. He'd struggled to settle Ren’s troubled thoughts for years. He knew the motivation was selfish - Ren was magnificent. What he did wasn’t a waste, it was _right_.

Hux shifted, making sure to sound confident. It was almost second nature, switching to his public address persona. “Once we have enough planets in our network, once enough systems become part of our Order, the purges will no longer be necessary. And once we have enough resources available, we won’t have to hide from the New Republic. Systems will see the First Order is superior, and join us willingly. We’re fair, and we take care of our members. We’ll eventually bring peace. This is a difficult time, and we are on the cusp of change. It’s a transition, and it will only take one gesture-” possibly Hux’s weapon - “to put us in a position to crush the New Republic.”

A long silence stretched between them before Ren replied. “I’ve been transitioning the First Order for over two years. Nothing’s really changed.”

“It will!” Hux’s voice rose, and he remembered Ren’s earlier accusation that he turned more fanatical when sleep-deprived. He paused, trying to make himself sound as honest as possible. “It will change. I’m working on something. It’s big, but I’m hoping it will be a peaceful solution to all our problems. Once we have it, we won’t need to wage war anymore. Eventually, all systems will see that we’re in the right. It _will_ work. It will be right for both of us, and for the rest of the First Order.”

Ren was silent. Hux wanted Ren to ask what he meant. He ached to tell Ren, to make him feel better, to get the secret off his chest and receive confirmation that it was a perfect solution.

Instead, Ren sighed, rolled over to face him again, and pressed their foreheads together. Before Hux could react, he felt darkness encroach, and the now-familiar sensation of being carried off on one of Ren’s visions.

* * *

  
_Hux found himself inside Ren again, experiencing firsthand Ren’s mercurial temper and strange powers. Ren was wearing the same mask Hux had seen in the first vision - his Knights of Ren helmet, Hux had since learned, he was almost never seen without it outside Hux’s quarters. Hux had never worn it himself, so the experience of being inside it was almost disorienting. It was not a Stormtrooper helmet, but something like it, with the same sort of breathing apparatus and visor, but none of the HUD technology. After orienting himself inside Ren’s helmet, the next thing he noticed was that the room Ren was in was freezing, far colder than a starship. Hux was also aware, somehow, that there was a terrible incongruity in the planet they were on. Ren’s perception of the world around him was muted or deadened in a way that Ren found to be horrible and unnatural._

_They were in some sort of complicated comm chamber, one that appeared functionally useless except to receive a transmission from a massive broadcast platform. It was currently active, the holocomm the only light source in the room. Ren gave little thought to the being projected in front of him, though Hux was horrified. The person on the other end of the comm was a huge xeno being, one that had been horribly injured, with an off-center face covered in some sort of flesh-stripping scarring. One eye was lower than the other, and both were a striking blue, obvious even through the muted colors of the comm. It wore a colorless high-collar one-piece robe that was plain and unpatterned. The xeno was extremely old, and extremely out of place in the chamber, which was an upscale version of First Order architecture._

_Why was Ren bowing to the xeno?_

_“Supreme Leader,” Ren intoned, and Hux was vaguely aware of his own voice doing the same next to Ren. So he was here again. But that was immediately pushed from Hux’s mind as he realized that the Supreme Leader of the First Order, Snoke, was the being in front of them. Hux had never seen him before, and for obvious good reason._

_Understanding and horror overcame him. This was_ Snoke _? Ren played servant to this_ creature _? Why? Why, when Ren was so much more?_

_“The droid will soon be in the hands of the Resistance,” Snoke intoned, his voice filling the chamber. “And with it, the means to find Skywalker. If the Jedi rises, it will give the Resistance great power.”_

_The mention of_ Skywalker _enraged Ren, his thoughts churning with a mixture of old anger, hurt, and determination. There was also a vague sense of failure. Something had eluded Ren, Hux presumed it was whatever droid they were discussing. But why? Did Ren fail to capture a droid? That seemed impossible. Such a simple mission could be accomplished with a unit of Troopers and Ren’s unique power. They could find nearly anything, and had before. Why had a droid escaped?_

 _Ren was struggling to master his emotions, his feelings so powerful that Hux was once again ill with them, despite not having a body. No matter how many times Ren did this, Hux would never fully understand how Ren_ lived _this way._

_Ren forced himself silent, believing that any defensive argument would make him sound childish. Instead, it was General Hux that stepped forward and addressed the xeno._

_“Supreme Leader, I take full responsibility-”_

_“Silence. The time has gone for such strategy, General. It earns us nothing.”_

_General Hux looked up to the holoprojection of the xeno, a neutral expression on his face. Hux wondered how long it had taken to perfect it, to look at Snoke without reacting. At least he knew what to expect now._

_“Then might I suggest a different strategy. The Starkiller is ready, sir. We can fire it at once. It will devastate the core of the Republic. They will scramble, and be honor-bound to discover the source of the blast. When they come-”_

_“They reveal their position.” The xeno smiled at him, and Hux mentally recoiled again. Ren was looking at General Hux now, his thoughts a roiling mass of anxiety. Ren hadn’t known the weapon was ready to fire. He wished General Hux had let him break the news to Snoke. He also knew what Snoke would say next._

_“Go,” Snoke waved a hand. “See to the preparations. Fire at will, target Hosnian Prime.”_

_General Hux bowed, then turned to leave. Snoke’s voice filled the chamber again._

_“Oh, General. One more thing. Do not just fire it once. That’s a waste of your weapon. Eliminate the entire Hosnian system, not just Hosnian Prime.”_

_An entire system?_

_Suddenly, it made awful sense. This was Hux’s weapon. The one he was developing in secret. From Ren’s thoughts, Hux gleaned that they were standing on the surface of the planet that contained the weapon, hollowed out to contain the star-eating core, and Hux himself had just delivered the news that it was complete. Snoke had authorized its firing._

_Hux was momentarily elated. This was his dream come true. He and Ren, in private conference with the Supreme Leader, his weapon ready and able to make a difference. It sounded as if they were on the brink of war, and his weapon would stop it. This was the future Hux had been trying to tell Ren about._

_Except… for the part about Hosnian Prime. Or the Hosnian System? Hux hadn’t intended to use the weapon. They could fire at several of the Hosnian moons as targets, and it would be just as effective without killing billions. Aside from that, Snoke was suggesting not just a planet, but… five? Were there five planets in the Hosnian system?_

_He expected General Hux to clarify. To refuse. The weapon wasn’t meant for that. The First Order wasn’t meant for that._

_“Understood, Supreme Leader,” General Hux replied, then turned and left Ren alone in the chamber._

_Ren was afraid. Afraid of what firing the weapon would do. The weapon hadn't been meant to kill so many people. He was also afraid for Hux. Ren was afraid of what Snoke would say to him about his failure to stay away from Hux, to put distance between them._

Fear _. It was an emotion Hux pushed down, or used for productive motivation. On Kylo Ren, it was almost ridiculous. Ren had nothing to be afraid of. He could kill the xeno in front of him and become the new Supreme Leader. Why didn’t he? It seemed as if Ren was afraid of what Snoke thought about his relationship with Hux, which was ridiculous. That couldn’t be right._

_“Do not be afraid, Ben,” Snoke murmured quietly, leaning forward. Ren relaxed, realizing that Snoke was not angry with him for the failure._

_“No. You are the most powerful and promising student I’ve ever had. Kylo Ren, the greatest of my apprentices. Your nature, your bloodline, and your unique affinity with the Force make you unstoppable. Do you know what stops you?”_

Hux _, Ren thought distinctly, surprising Hux._ Snoke will ask for Hux _._

Ask for Hux _? What would that mean? Hux’s stomach tightened. Were they in danger? Was Hux in danger, by allowing himself to be comfortable around Ren? Was that what this vision was about?_

_Ren panicked, and attempted to deflect. “Sentiment.” He paused, licked his lips inside the helmet. “Sentiment for those involved with the New Republic. For my family.”_

_“Your family.” A sneer crossed Snoke’s features, which Hux had thought frozen in place. Ren suspected Snoke knew he was evading the question. He bowed his head, trying to act contrite._

_“Do you know what felled the Empire, Ben?”_

_“Sentiment,” Ren confirmed, his mouth dry. “Sentiment. Darth Vader’s, for his wife, and for his children. For them, he turned on his master.”_

_“He threw away power. Promise. A future. An Empire.” Snoke leaned back further in his seat. “For sentiment.”_

_“I can stop the Republic,” Ren stepped forward. Fighting and winning a war wasn't a problem. He believed Snoke wouldn’t ask for Hux directly, if Ren offered to fight the Resistance._

_Hux was again chilled by this thought. Ask for him directly, meaning what exactly?_

_Ren reassured himself that Hux was essential to the First Order, that Snoke wouldn’t want him dead. Hux was firing Snoke’s weapon._

_“I can stop them,” Ren repeated, forcing himself to push his thoughts down, to not let Snoke see his emotions. That seemed impossible to Hux, when Ren’s thoughts were so confusing, so constant, and his feelings so overpowering. Ren seemed to know this as well, and it made him miserable._

_Snoke steepled his fingers, his expression unchanging. “See that you do. And bring in the girl for questioning. The one that evades you.”_

_With that, the holo cut off, leaving the chamber in complete darkness. Vaguely, Ren was aware of the extreme cold of the chamber. He paused, sending his thoughts out into the darkness, to meditate in the Force and calm himself down. The sensation was still alien and upsetting to Hux, as if Ren’s thoughts were escaping his head, becoming aware of things around him in a way that shouldn’t be possible. But there was nothing for Ren to sense on this unnaturally hollow planet that Hux had made into an instrument of death._

_Grimly, Ren pulled his thoughts inward, focusing on himself and picturing his mother. Hux recognized Leia Organa, older than she’d been in the Republic props that Hux had seen, but likely younger than she was now. Ren forced himself to visualize his blade going through her chest. He pictured his TIE firing on her base. Pictured himself watching as an anonymous planet where she resided was broken up in a fiery explosion, just like in the vision she’d shown him of Alderaan’s destruction._

_Hux sensed that Ren was trying to make himself more confident about what he’d promised Snoke, but the visions were upsetting Ren, the horrible sense of guilt and loss powerful and foreign to Hux. Ren knelt on the floor, hands on his knees and helmeted head bowed, breathing heavily through gritted teeth. The cold of the stone floor bit through the thin trousers Ren was wearing, but he hardly noticed. He focused only on Leia Organa’s death - Snoke expected it, and he would have to kill Hux if he failed. Snoke would see it done, if not by Ren’s hand, then some other way._

_It took several moments, but incredibly, Ren managed to settle his thoughts, and did turn to the necessity of his mother’s death. It had to be done, she was an enemy. Hux was pleased by this, and briefly fantasized about being called upon to murder Brendol for the good of the Order. Ren seemed to harbor no such ill will toward Leia Organa - he resented her, but for nonspecific reasons. It was none of the sharp, bitter hate that Hux felt formed a mutual part of his and Brendol’s relationship._

_Satisfied, Ren rose from the floor and approached the exit to the dark chamber. His thoughts were casually probing the world around him, his Force, the alienness of it still immensely unsettling to Hux. He seemed to be probing the dead landscape around him like a sore tooth, the only thing he could really sense nearby was General Hux’s anxiety and excitement just beyond the door. When he emerged from the room, Ren turned to face General Hux, who’d stayed to walk with Ren even after being given his much-anticipated order to fire the weapon._

_It pleased Ren, anxiety twisting in his chest even as he removed his helmet and offered a small smile to General Hux. General Hux grinned back. Ren wasn’t reassured by it. Silently, they walked side by side down the empty hallway, to the transport that would carry them to the rest of the base._

_The vision dissolved, and Hux felt relief as it ended, his mind no longer a hostage to Ren’s powerful emotions and his vision of the future. But rather than waking in his bed, the vision re-formed. Dismayed, Hux reoriented himself. This had never happened before._

_This time, Ren was still wearing his helmet, looking out the viewport on a Star Destroyer. He was by himself, in an anonymous and dim conference room that could have been on any vessel in the fleet. Ren wasn’t entirely inside his own mind, and Hux could feel his focus stretch dizzyingly as he focused on the very distant thoughts of General Hux, discernible only as a level of fanaticism that was foreign to Hux. Ren had never shown him more than the touch of General Hux’s feelings before - the unfamiliarity was disorienting, and even upsetting. Was this Hux? Did he feel nothing else? Was this what he felt about the First Order? What could he be doing?_

_Ren was thinking to himself that Hux would be unhappy that Ren wasn’t present for the speech, to share in the greatest moment of Hux’s life. Hux was frustrated by the indistinctness of the idea - what speech? What was the moment? When had this happened?_

_The details were overcome by Ren’s anger. He was extremely angry that the greatest moment of Hux’s life had nothing to do with Ren, and did not include him. Hux wanted to reach through the vision and punch him. Ren had apparently chosen to be absent from the moment, so why was that Hux’s fault?_

_Ren reminded himself that it was their co-command, that Hux had given them both credit for it. But it had always been Hux’s. All Hux’s idea, Hux’s atrocity._

_Hux suddenly realized that the planet Ren was gazing at through the viewport was the dead one that he’d just experienced, the one that was a void in the Force. Hux was shocked. It was an ice world, and even from space, it was obvious that it was a giant planet-size weapon. Starkiller. That was it. The name Hux had given it, and what everyone in the vision had called it._

_Something pulled inside Ren, and suddenly, five beams of light fired from the bright core of the planet, from the massive lens visible at the equator. Ren watched from his destroyer as the deceptively thin beams passed by, committing whatever miracle of science transported them across the galaxy to the Hosnian System. Ren wondered how many times Hux had explained the science of it to him. Ren didn’t care._

_Ren’s Force registered the impact of the beams on the Hosnian System, which seemed nearly impossible to Hux for the half-second it took for the full force of it to wash back to Ren, and Hux, hitchhiking in his thoughts. It was awful. A deafening scream, a torrent of emotions that hit Ren and brought him to his knees. Ren felt a give in the Force, an imbalance that Darkness rushed in to. Ren repeated a phrase over and over again, through the nonsense of everything that was happening -_ a million voices crying out and suddenly silenced, a million voices crying out and suddenly silenced, a million voices crying out, and suddenly silenced-

_Hux was sick with it. It wasn’t millions, it was billions. Billions of people, dozens of billions, a number so large that the human mind was unable to hold it. Ren felt every single one of their deaths from wherever he was. And so did Hux._

_Ren was on the floor of the room now, eyes closed. It continued, the torrent, and Ren’s mouth was locked, his throat unwilling to scream. It was by far the worst thing Hux had ever experienced, a pale reflection of what he’d considered Ren’s mercurial moods_ _earlier._

_The vision continued far too long. But the torrent didn’t end, and the vision did._

* * *

When he came back to himself in the bedroom, Hux barely had enough time to reach the edge of the mattress before he vomited his nonexistent dinner rations. He’d had little more than caf and a protein bar in the last full cycle. Thin bile puddled on the floor as his body tried to empty itself of what it had experienced, what _Ren_ had experienced - billions of deaths, over and over and over again.

When the horrors of the vision ceased to wrack him with lingering fear, he stood, furious, and commanded the lights in his quarters to full. He glared at Ren, who regarded him hostilely from the bed.

“You’re wrong. That wasn’t a vision of the future, that was… some sort of nightmare, something that-” he waved it away, fearful that speaking it aloud would make him reflexively gag. “It would never happen. Snoke-” _the thing_ , Hux hadn’t known, hadn’t known what the Supreme Leader, what Ren’s master _was_ \- “The Supreme Leader would never order such a thing. And I would never agree.”

 _But the weapon_ , a voice in the back of his mind whispered. _It was the one you made. It had your name. You’re its father, its commander_ -

No.

When Ren remained silent, continuing to regard him with his dark-eyed, hollowing stare, Hux swallowed and tried again.

“The weapon,” he demanded hoarsely. “How did you find out about it?”

Realistically, he knew there were any number of ways Ren could have discovered it, and the reality of them calmed Hux. Ren was constantly in and out of his rooms. Ren had simply went through his files and found it. Ren was likely spying for someone - Kalidin, or Pham, or even his father. Dully, he realized the truth was much more mundane than Ren’s fantasy, and just as crushing, if far less horrifying.

Maybe Ren didn’t realize that knowing of the weapon’s existence gave him away. Hux was careful. The full plans were stored on a datapad cut off from any First Order network, one he kept scrupulously free of bugs or connection, and was stored behind high-level biolocks in a hidden compartment in the desk in his quarters, within General Brendol’s suite.

Ren was the only person who’d ever seen Hux working on it. Hux had let his guard down. This was a lesson. One Hux had learned long ago, and shouldn’t want now, but dealing with Ren’s outrageous betrayal was easier than parsing that vision.

Ren sat up in bed, furious. “What weapon? I’m not spying on you. Why would I bother? Why would I care about whatever it is you're working on?”

“Why would you bother?” Hux spat. “There are many who would want those weapon plans, who could profit off it, who could bring me down-”

Ren laughed hollowly, cutting through Hux’s tirade. “You think you're very important. No one cares about the guns you give stormtroopers. No one cares about you at all, other than me.”

Rage overpowered Hux, and he launched himself onto Ren. He had no knife, and it was a fight he couldn’t win. Part of him knew better - better to wait, better to let Ren fall asleep and strike then. But Ren’s cruel reminder that he was the only one close to Hux had finally triggered the anger, the tight sense of loss and hurt, that made him lash out.

He landed on Ren, who was still sitting on the mattress, and Ren easily caught and subdued him. Hux struggled, but it was truly no contest. In a flash, he was beneath Ren, the Force binding him by his wrists, his arms, and his legs. He was frozen and powerless. It was so easy, for Ren.

“I told you never to do this to me again,” Hux shouted, sill furious.

“And I’m telling you to listen,” Ren hissed, sitting beside him and leaning in, arms crossed above his bare, broad chest. Being naked didn’t diminish his power, or his authority. Hux envied him that. "I’m asking you - _what weapon_?”

Hux twisted, hard enough that he felt the joints of his shoulders creak. He wanted to twist himself out of the hold, wanted to attack Ren again. If he could get free and reach his knife-

_Say something, distract him_

Hux sneered. “What weapon? My service pistol. What other weapon could I mean? The weapon in the vision you just showed me. Starkiller. You even knew the codename I use.”

Ren blinked at him, taken aback. “The thing that blew up the Hosnian system? You call that a weapon?”

“What else could it possibly be! I call it Starkiller, and I haven’t breathed that name to another person. Not even you!”

“I didn’t know it was a weapon! I had no idea what you were talking about in the vision. I could tell we killed a lot of people, but I didn't see how. I didn't think the beam...” Ren trailed off, looking even more distraught.

“Bantha shit. It was in your vision.” Hux had gone limp, hoping to catch Ren with his guard down. But a sudden twist to test his bonds left him with nothing but searing pain in his wrists. Ren’s guard was well up. “You wouldn’t have even needed to pull it from my files. You could have read my mind, like one of your interrogation suspects. It would be so easy for you.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you. It’s _not_ easy. You would feel me doing it, if I was taking something like that from you. It would damage your mind. You've seen my interrogations. You've even seen me doing interrogations in a vision, you know how that works.”

Ren looked genuinely confused, and very hurt. Part of Hux wanted to relent. Ren’s visions were personal and honest in a way that was completely unique to Ren. A less sentimental part of Hux told him that Ren could have been lying to him the whole time, and he was a fool for trusting him.

“So you say. But you could lie about everything having to do with the Force, and I would never know. Who am I to ask for the truth?”

“I had no way of knowing about that- thing, that weapon. I thought it was a Death Star or something. I didn’t know you had- you were actually trying to make something like it, now-" His expression went slack in horror. "Was it the planet? Is that why the planet felt like that?"

Hux was quick to deny it. “It’s not like that! It’s only meant to destroy unoccupied planets, moons… it’s not meant to destroy every planet in the Hosnian System!”

“It's real? That's what you've been working on?" Ren look disgusted, and sat back, studying Hux differently now. "Yeah, I'm sure you meant to do only good things with a planet-size Death Star. What stops Snoke from making you point it at an occupied system?”

 _Nothing._ But Hux still felt defensive. “Because that’s an unimaginable atrocity! One I would have no part in.”

Ren still looked distracted, and more than a little upset. Hux tried again to escape from Ren’s hold, but Ren’s Force apparently required little concentration.

Ren grew more annoyed after Hux's strugles. “You would do it, though, if that's what your orders were. You just saw that. If you made it, if you’re drawing up the plans now, that’s a possible future.”

 _No_.

“No,” Hux repeated aloud, then remembered that he was supposed to be angry about Ren’s betrayal, and that Ren couldn’t possibly see the future. “This is all some sort of… elaborate ruse, to cover for the fact that you’ve stolen the plans from me. Maybe you gave them to-” _that thing_ “-to the Supreme Leader himself. Perhaps you even believed you were helping me.” That explanation seemed to fit Ren more than an elaborate plan that began years before Hux began work on the weapon. “But you’re lying if you claim you didn't know about it.”

Ren’s expression hardened. His eyes narrowed, and Hux felt a creeping prickle of cold against his skin that meant that Ren was no longer controlling his temper, even in front of Hux. Hux had only experienced this a few times before, and his confidence once again waned. 

Ren leaned in, and Hux couldn’t stop himself from flinching away.

“When have I ever lied to you?”

Ren hadn’t. Not really. But he told Hux he was magic. He told Hux he could see the future. When they first met-

“When we first met,” Hux began, his voice weak and his body still reeling against the cold press of Ren’s Force, “You told me you were there for the First Order. That you were on a mission. But you were only there to meet me.”

Ren leaned back, seeming taken aback. His anger dissipated slightly, enough that the frigid chill abruptly vanished from Hux’s skin. “I was there on a mission. It wasn’t just for you.”

Hux clenched his jaw, confidence returning, sure that he could catch Ren in some sort of lie. _Everybody_ lied. “Did you join the First Order while you were there? After you saw me?”

Ren huffed, looking more amused now. “I didn’t join the First Order there, no. But I was definitely more enthusiastic after I met you. I knew you were in my future, and I knew we were fated to meet there, and to be together after. I saw it. When I saw that you were in the Order too, I was more committed to the cause. You believed in it.” His expression changed, looking more sad. “Maybe if I hadn’t gone there, we would have met some other way. Maybe we would have been happier.”

The last comment gutted Hux. _Happier_. When had Hux ever been happy? That was a luxury for other people.

He abruptly dismissed that line of thought. He should tell Ren to fuck off, to release him from the Force hold and leave his quarters and never return. He should change his locks to keep Ren away. He should report Ren for treason and let them interrogate him, watch as he disappeared from the system as if he never existed. He should shoot Ren, like he’d told himself years ago.

But Ren’s last comment lingered in Hux’s thoughts. No one had ever speculated whether Hux was genuinely happy. Hux searched his memories for other petty incidents, for white lies, but could think of none. Ren had never lied to him. Ren had committed himself to the Order because of Hux, because it was something Hux truly believed in.

Ren had been a different person when they'd first met, too. The man who had brazenly flirted with Hux in the rain had disappeared, replaced with the unhappy one in front of him. Rather than enjoying their time together, Ren increasingly complained bitterly and resented what he did, despite being the best and most powerful member of the First Order. Ren could leave and do whatever he wanted, but he chose to stay and be miserable with Hux.

Hux realized, with some amount of shame, that he trusted Ren. He didn’t trust anyone else. Trust was a dangerous thing to give, and only fools left themselves open to betrayal. And as he stared into Ren’s sad expression as he leaned barechested over Hux’s trapped body, he realized that Ren was perhaps the most dangerous person to give it to.

Ren had also earned it.

Ren’s face twitched as he continued to look down at Hux, his expression unreadable as Hux let go of his anger.

“Can you really read my thoughts? Not to steal the Starkiller plans, but what I’m thinking now?” Hux asked, gazing up at Ren as he decided to ask the honest question and believe the answer.

“Sometimes.” Ren shrugged, and the Force hold vanished. “Especially when you’re feeling something strongly, or really want to say something. Stuff like locations, and specific details are what I have to try harder to pull out, especially if the person doesn’t want me to see. But surface thoughts and emotions, especially about me, are pretty easy.”

Hux clenched his jaw again, humiliation bubbling up. “That must be uniquely annoying. I can’t imagine the unflattering thoughts about yourself you see in others.”

Ren made a noise of assent, and moved to the foot of the bed, his gaze still slightly weary as Hux sat up. “I don’t usually bother to look. But I look often enough to know that you're the worst.” The corner of Ren’s mouth quirked. “You know more about me. Your insults are more personal.”

Hux ignored this, suspecting that Ren was only saying it to provoke a reaction. Ren was annoying, and had the worst personal habits that Hux had ever seen, but he was sure no one thought of him more frequently. And Hux was nearly obsessed with the effortless power and success Ren managed. 

Realizing that Ren was likely seeing that, he broke his gaze, shifting to swing his legs over the side of the bed. He spotted his vomit from earlier, puddled on the floor, and was humiliated again. His face flamed, and he struggled for something to say as a distraction. “Well, you are a slob with no concept of boundaries. What else am I to think? If my opinion is so offensive to you, it would make anyone else's far less upsetting. I'm helping you.”

“I also know you love me, even though you don't say it out loud.”

Hux sighed, his humiliation vanishing as he once again tried to avoid one of Ren’s more tiresome conversations. Instead of responding, he neatly stepped over the puddle of vomit and crossed the room to his desk, where he’d carelessly left his restricted datapad out. He ran a finger along the blank screen, part of him railing against his inattentiveness. But he knew that Ren wouldn’t steal it, and didn’t even care about the Starkiller notes. He never had. 

He stared down at his desk, thinking of Ren’s vision, running the horror of it through his mind over and over. It had deeply affected him, to the point he had welcomed the idea of Ren lying to him, because that would mean the vision wasn’t true.

Maybe the vision wasn’t true. But Hux understood how it could be, and that his ideas could theoretically lead to the destruction of the Hosnian System. Or any planet, really.

It was sobering.

He unlocked the datapad, drilling down through his layers of custom security to his Starkiller research files. Methodically, he deleted each and every one. He checked, and double-checked, then cleared any trace of writing and calculations from the system and all the applications he’d used. It was years of research and ideas, and the future that Hux had imagined for himself, completely destroyed. But the better parts of what he’d done would live on in the various projects he’d started, and the First Order would still benefit greatly from them.

He checked to make sure the files were gone from every conceivable place. Then, calmly, he activated the emergency purge protocol on the datapad, blanking it entirely. He exited his quarters briefly, allowing himself into his father’s dark office, then fed the useless datapad into the tech shredder that led to the _Absolution_ ’s trash compactor.

He did it all calmly, with confidence, feeling no particular way about throwing away a project that he’d been so consumed by only an hour ago. It needed done. If only his memory of Ren’s vision could be so easily erased. Ren was right to be horrified by it. There was really no reason the weapon couldn’t be pointed at an occupied planet once it was complete. If Hux objected, they could simply shoot him and replace him with someone else. His idea would live on, if he introduced it and delivered the tech to make it possible.

He re-entered his quarters and ordered the lights down, then climbed back into the bed with Ren, carefully avoiding the vomit again. He would step into it when he woke, but he probably deserved that.

He put his back to Ren, the only sound in the room the ticking of the air circulation vents. Hux said nothing about his newfound trust, about Ren reading his thoughts, or about destroying the way forward for Starkiller. If Ren was telling the truth - _he was_ \- he could see it all anyway.

He could feel Ren in the bed, near but not touching Hux. He was breathing heavily and trembling, likely from the high of unspent adrenaline. After a moment, Ren rolled over and tentatively placed a palm against Hux’s waist. It was big, Hux had never stopped marveling at Ren’s hands, which could span Hux’s waist or rip apart an alien rebel. The skin of Ren’s palm was calloused where he gripped his saber. Feeling it, after everything they’d just been through, was a comfort, and Ren’s touch made the hairs rise on Hux’s skin.

Ren’s hand was still trembling. Hux steadied it by placing his own against it, then twining their fingers together. It occurred to him that the trembling might not be unspent adrenaline, and that Ren had always craved Hux’s attention. It was hard to know what thoughts Ren could see, so Hux spoke aloud, in order to make himself clear.

“You’re right. You’re right about all of it, Ren. And… no one has ever speculated on my happiness. Including me.” Hux was happy in this moment, or at least satisfied. It meant that he cared for Ren, more deeply than he’d been willing to admit to himself. It had crept up on him, though part of him was still firmly against the idea that what they had could truly be love, that Hux was besotted.

“The First Order’s direction is changing. It's... difficult, especially for you. I want to make it right again. That vision, that-” _atrocity, the thing that was awful by itself even without Ren’s powers to feel its evil across the fucking galaxy_ “-that will never happen. We’ll make sure the First Order never commits a crime like that.”

Ren said nothing to this, but his breathing slowed, and he wrapped his fingers through Hux’s more tightly. Hux was too anxious to sleep, his mind playing the awful vision over and over again. He wondered about General Armitage Hux, and if he’d still be able to achieve the rank without Starkiller. Maybe his willingness to murder billions was what qualified him, under Supreme Leader Snoke’s regime.

But something else from the vision struck him suddenly, something that had solidified Snoke as a monster.

“Why was Snoke going on about sentiment, and Darth Vader’s feelings ruining the Empire?” Hux asked into the silence, not sure if Ren was still awake to hear him.

Ren stiffened next to him, obviously listening. He was silent for long enough that Hux didn’t expect an answer, but he finally spoke.

“You know that Darth Vader is my grandfather.”

“Yes,” Hux said shortly. He remembered when the news came from the Republican Senate, that Leia Organa and Luke Skywalker, the heroes of the Rebellion, were the children of Darth Vader. It had seemed funny to him at the time, before he knew their connection to Ren. But now the eerie parallel between Darth Vader and Kylo Ren chilled Hux. He hadn’t thought of it before.

“His path was similar to mine. Master Snoke tells me that Vader’s downfall was his wife, and that he couldn’t kill his children.”

“How was that his downfall?”

“I don’t know. My uncle claimed that Darth Vader was redeemed at the end of his life, that he refused to do the Emperor’s bidding, but he never really talked about it. Maybe my grandfather was supposed to kill my uncle. I don’t know. Maybe my uncle is just hard to kill.”

Ren’s grip on Hux’s hand tightened, and Hux decided not to ask. Ren continued.

“Anyway, I draw my power from the Dark side of the Force. That was what finally drove my uncle to murder me. I chose that path, because it was the most natural. But sentiment is a barrier to the Dark side. It’s a tie to the Light. It never felt like it to me, but Master Snoke tells me that I can’t reach my full potential until give up my hold on the Light.”

Hux considered this. _Sentiment_. The Ren in the vision had been certain that Snoke would ask for Hux’s death. It was obvious now that this had been a real danger, and not just something the Ren in the vision was irrationally afraid of. Hux was again chilled by the xeno and his lack of empathy.

“Right,” Ren confirmed in a quieter voice, apparently reading Hux’s thoughts. “He also knows I don’t hate my family like I should.”

“You seem to hate your uncle.”

“I do,” Ren quickly replied.

“I… can’t imagine you think often of your family. You nearly gutted me for bringing them up once. You didn’t want to speak of them, even to explain yourself to me. Does Snoke really see that as sentiment?”

Ren sighed. “It is, I guess. Technically. It’s one I’m willing to give up-” _sacrifice_ , Hux thought “-to keep you. You’re more important. I chose you.”

“Didn’t the Force choose me?”

“No,” Ren replied savagely, wrapping his arm around Hux and pulling him closer.

Hux shifted, getting more comfortable in Ren’s tighter grip, his back pressed against his warm, firm chest. “Does Snoke say all this now, in the present? Or only in your… visions of the future?”

Ren was silent for a moment, and a weight settled in Hux’s stomach. When it came, Ren’s reply was quick and reluctant, all but confirming Hux’s suspicions. “Only occasionally. Never directly.”

“Ren.” Hux turned in his arms to face him, their mouths nearly brushing. “He’s trying to manipulate you, to isolate you. If you feel stronger for his teachings, if you feel learning from him is right, don’t give it up. But don’t let him tell you what we do is bad.”

“It’s not, I know,” Ren agreed quickly. 

Hux paused, wondering if they’d discussed enough feelings for the small hours of the morning, and whether he would be able to get any sleep before his next shift. At least he’d tried his best to dismiss the Starkiller vision.

It wouldn’t be enough to rid him of it entirely. It would haunt him for some time to come.

As Ren’s breathing evened out, Hux studied his face in the near-darkness, eventually brushing his dark hair away from his brow, tucking it behind Ren’s ear. Ren’s face twitched below his touch, but he’d obviously fallen asleep. Hux allowed himself to think of Ren, to think of all the versions of him that he’d experienced so intimately in the visions.

This Ren, his Ren in the present, was extremely unhappy, he knew. He hadn’t thought about it before Ren said it, but Ren was even more miserable than Hux. The First Order didn’t need Starkiller’s power, because they could send Kylo Ren down to clear out any planet, though much more slowly. That should stop, and Hux resolved to apply himself to the problem.

But the version of Kylo Ren in all the visions had been even more unhappy than the Ren in the present. Future Kylo Ren had been paranoid and haunted, driven by power and the need to _keep going_ , to destroy his family, his uncle, and the Republic. He had been driven to kill his family for the sin of caring. Partially for them, but mostly for Hux. And in the visions, both Snoke and Ren seemed to consider it something he needed to do personally. Why? Kylo Ren could send anyone he wanted into the Republic to kill Leia Organa. Intelligence officers, black ops, a whole army. If Snoke felt so strongly about it, he could give an order, and Ren would only need to let it happen. The idea that Ren should strangle his own mother with his bare hands was barbaric. Hux wasn’t entirely sure he could do that to Brendol, and Brendol had beaten him bloody since infancy.

Was Kylo Ren capable of it? Hux would have said no, had he not seen Ren’s vision of the future. The Kylo Ren in the present had murdered countless beings, but none he cared about, and Ren did care deeply. But in the visions, Hux felt that he was. That future version of Kylo Ren was driven only by power, and the need to succeed.

What did that mean for a future version of Hux, then? Hux, the larger, so-called real impediment to his power? What happened when killing his family changed nothing for Ren?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild warning that the future vision this time includes events from The Rise of Skywalker, in case that's a problem. You'll still get the idea if you read the vision through the end of the sex scene, or even skip it completely.

“Have you moved at all since I left you?”

Hux made a dismissive gesture over his shoulder, not bothering to turn around. “I know you told me to meet you in the hangar, but I needed to finish this before tomorrow.” Hux paused before lowering his hand back to the datapad built into his desk. He didn’t need to justify himself, but he hadn't responded to Ren's comm, and the explanation came automatically. He wouldn't have done it even a year ago, though the reaction didn't bother him now.

Nor did it bother him, really, when he heard the release of Ren’s helmet, the footsteps behind him, felt Ren’s lips against his cheek. He quite liked having Ren’s mouth near his ear, feeling his unshaven stubble against his skin and his breath as he spoke.

“Mourning your father?”

Hux let out a bark of laughter, then turned to face him. “I eulogized him. The service was mandatory, but I always wonder whether you’re forced to attend such things.”

Ren looked exhausted, as he always did when he came back after missions. His clothes were tattered, and he smelled like the usual mix of mold, mud, and sweat. His hair hung limply around his face. But his eyes were amused, and the corner of his grim mouth twitched.

“I don’t usually do the mandatory address thing. But I made an exception to see you lying so boldly to the entire organization.”

“Lying? Oh, I was extremely upset. Ask anyone.”

“I don’t have to.” Ren wandered over to a side table, setting his helmet down and glancing around the room. “So they let you keep the suite after your father died?”

“Of course.” Hux stood, showing off his new greatcoat to Ren, the rank on the sleeve. “They gave me his old position, after all. There was no one else to take over for him. They could hardly kick me out of his rooms, especially when I’d been living here too.”

“So, it sounds like you need a new roommate.” Ren was grinning again. “Since you lost your old one.”

Hux couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. “A freeloader. You aren’t even a member of the military.” He sat back down, turning to face his datapad and the large electronic work surfaces built into his father’s desk in the main office of the command suite. “I should have known you’d show up at my most vulnerable time and demand to be accommodated.”

“What are you working on?” Ren was stripping himself naked in the office, something he hadn’t attempted while Brendol was alive. Hux glanced over, then tried to focus on his work again.

“My father’s illness put some aspects of the training program behind. I’m sorting that out, and implementing the changes I’d been planning.”

“You can do that? Don’t you have to confer or something? Shouldn’t there be a committee for stormtroopers, in case you go mad with power?”

Hux snorted. “Committees don’t accomplish anything. My father abolished all the oversight over the training program years ago. I’m not about to say anything now.”

“Must be nice.” Ren had wandered naked out of the room, leaving his filthy clothes in a pile on the floor. Hux sneered at them, but entered a command to have a cleaning droid take care of them. That was a conversation they could have when Hux was feeling less charitable.

Ren re-emerged with a pair of black workout pants slung over one arm, still naked. Hux eyed him up and down, then turned back to his datapad. “It’s not as if you have any oversight yourself. You do as you please.”

“Not really,” Ren muttered, entering the ‘fresher and shouting over the sound of running water. “Tell Snoke I’m allowed to do whatever I want.”

Hux shuddered, still too distracted to finish his work. He still remembered the vision of the Supreme Leader that Ren had showed him over a year ago. He’d not really asked if Snoke was the same in the present, aside from a few questions right after the vision. Was Ren really treated that way? Would Ren tolerate that?

Hux thought about continuing the argument, shouting over the running water, or perhaps entering the sonic with Ren. He glanced uneasily at the spot where the cleaning droid was removing Ren’s old clothing.

Everything was so _domestic_. So simple. Something in Hux was uneasy about this, the kind of life where he needed to explain to Ren why he wasn’t at the hangar to pick him up, where Ren simply announced that he was moving in with Hux (though they’d slept together plenty before his father’s death, Ren insisting until Hux had grown too tired to resist). Hux truly did have some important work to do, and yet he was wasting time thinking about Ren.

Everything seemed too easy. And yet, he told himself he could do without any of it. What happened if Ren disappeared tomorrow? 

Hux huffed, then concentrated on his screens again. It wasn’t long before Ren emerged from the ‘fresher, tight black pants on, draping his arms around Hux’s shoulders.

“Some of us are still working, Ren,” Hux said sharply, not rewarding him with the attention he wanted.

“Some of us work too hard.”

“Hard work goes far,” Hux said absently, trying to finish the thought in his schematic document. Ren buried his face in Hux’s neck. His skin was damp and hot from the shower, and he could feel the water from Ren’s hair, improperly dried in the sonic, dripping onto his new greatcoat. He frowned.

“I wasn’t talking about you,” Ren muttered. “The mission I just finished was…” he trailed off, and tightened his grip on Hux’s shoulders.

Hux sighed, blanking his screens and turning to Ren, resenting the interruption now that he’d managed to continue his train of thought. “And I should entertain you? I have my first High Command meeting tomorrow. I would like to have these changes implemented, and a list of topics to bring to their attention about new strategic applications for the army.”

“I don’t care,” Ren muttered before straightening enough to look into Hux’s eyes. “Besides. You’ll just annoy them if you come in with demands right away. They won’t give you what you want, and it’ll make things harder later.”

This was unusually astute from Ren, and it kept Hux silent as he considered it. In the pause, Ren pushed his case.

“Please, Hux,” he begged. “It’s late into the cycle. If you have an important meeting, get your beauty sleep.”

“If I’m tired, I’ll look more grief-stricken.”

Ren made a face. “Nothing will make you look more grief-stricken.” His expression tightened into something more serious, and it passed. “I had too much grief on my last mission.”

Hux’s gaze darted to the bedroom, wishing to end the conversation. He’d long ago stopped trying to interrupt Ren’s treasonous tirades. In fact, he hadn’t defended any of Ren’s missions since his last vision. The Starkiller weapon haunted Hux, because the outcome Ren had shown him had been so _probable_. It was the logical conclusion for the missions Ren was doing, what the weapon would become, and what Hux would become while making it. He knew himself well enough for that.

Hesitantly, because Hux still always had a niggling suspicion he really _shouldn’t_ , he ran his fingers through Ren’s hair. Ren closed his eyes.

“Was it another purge?”

“No,” Ren muttered. “This was a training mission.”

Hux’s hand paused. Ren’s training missions were worse than the missions Ren did for the Order. Hux had been weary of them since he’d realized the hold Snoke had on Ren, and where his training took him. He tugged at Ren’s hair, considering him anew.

“You aren’t as tired as you usually are.”

“I’m fucking tired.” Ren cracked one of his brown eyes. “You mean I’m not as angry as usual.”

“Yes.” Hux shrugged. Sometimes Ren came back and could not be reasoned with. It always made Hux think of the visions.

“It wasn’t anger training. I had to track some holocrons for Snoke, through an old Sith temple. There was a lot of lingering…” Ren sighed. “You don’t care.”

“I don’t.”

“I like that about you.” Ren pulled back, standing. “You’ll tell me when my training is bantha shit.”

“It’s all bantha shit,” Hux declared, standing up from his desk. “Every bit of it. You’re fine the way you are.”

Ren frowned, bunching his hands at his sides. Hux pulled off his greatcoat, hanging it over the back of his desk chair.

“I love you, Hux. I love you still. You know that, right?”

Hux sighed, pausing for a moment over his coat, then turning to look at Ren. “Of course I do. You tell me nearly every day.”

Ren smirked. “It used to make you angry. You said that was bantha shit, too.”

“It is.” Hux stepped forward, pushing at Ren’s shoulders. “And I won’t indulge it.”

“But you’ll let me say it.” Ren turned, making his way into Hux’s bedroom, where he’d been spending a considerable amount of his time.

“You’ll do as you please. We’ve established that already. And I’ve found that the universe won’t collapse if you have an overgrown infant that insists on wasting your time.”

Ren laughed. “Infant? Is that really what you want to call me right now?”

Hux made a face. “Shut up, Ren.” He began removing his uniform. Ren sat at the edge of the bed, hands folded between his knees, tight workout pants clinging enticingly to his calves and thighs. Hux sighed, turning away to hang his uniform properly in the closet.

Ren loved him, there was no denying it. What was more, Hux found it harder and harder to dismiss Ren’s feelings and intensity as he grew used to it. Loving Hux didn’t make Ren any less - he was still the best secret weapon the First Order had available. A warrior. A terror. Too good to be believed, even by Hux.

And it was true, allowing Ren’s affection did little to harm him. Hux found himself relaxing into the familiarity of it. He let Ren close, and he shared his own frustrations and triumphs with Ren. Ren was the one who had advised him what to do when Phasma made her suggestion to murder Brendol - Hux would have had her killed. Ren told him to let her, and see what happened. He wasn’t entirely sure Phasma wouldn’t stab him in the back, but some weak part of Hux took a fierce pleasure in knowing that, if she did, Ren would find her.

Letting Ren have his way with Hux changed nothing about Hux himself. He wasn’t weaker, he didn’t waste time. Ren had been right tonight - he would have wasted his whole rest shift working on proposals for the High Command meeting that would have been immediately rejected. Perhaps he did just need the pleasure of Ren’s company on occasion.

It didn’t make him weak. It made him better. What was more, it made him genuinely happy. Very little else did in Hux’s life. He could admit to himself that Ren was good for him, in that way.

When he had stripped down to his boxers and sleeveless undershirt, he turned back around to Ren, who was reclining on the bed, leaning back on his hands. His bare, scarred chest was exposed, and his damp hair hung around the back of his head. His intense gaze was still on Hux.

Hux suddenly felt uncomfortable at the scrutiny, and snapped at Ren to hide it, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well? How do you want it tonight?”

“Can we just do face-to-face? Nothing else? I’m really tired.”

“If that’s all you wanted, why did you dress after your sonic?”

Ren crawled up the bed, still on top of the blanket. “I didn’t know how long you'd make me wait.”

“I never get much work done with you here. You know that.” Hux grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, somewhat disappointed - he preferred having Ren do this for him, as Ren always seemed so fascinated by revealing more of Hux’s body. Hux crawled onto the bed, looking down at Ren. Ren’s face was still impassive, but his eyes were roving over Hux’s chest, and he reached up, stroking one big, calloused hand down the soft skin of Hux’s pectoral, thumbing at his nipple.

“How do you want this? Do you want to fuck me tonight, or am I doing the work?”

“Can you ride me?” Ren asked, meeting Hux’s gaze, his thumb still stroking over Hux’s nipple. Prior to Ren, Hux would never have let another man fuck him - he liked being in control, and part of him hated how his partners sometimes lost themselves to sex. But he allowed it with Ren. Ren seemed to enjoy sex however he could get it, and he’d talked Hux into letting him finger his ass, stretch him, and eventually fuck him with his big cock. And Ren had been right, it had felt good. Hux realized there was no shame in it, and decided to enjoy it when Ren touched him.

On the other hand, it was so much better when Ren enjoyed himself. Hux loved watching him. He did so now, straddling Ren’s hips and pressing his ass against Ren’s cock. He leaned forward, hands on Ren’s chest, to kiss him.

It wasn’t like the kisses they’d shared when they first met, the prelude to impatient, passionate sex. Ren’s mouth was full and hot, and Hux took his time, pressing his tongue in and exploring, feeling Ren’s breath catch below his hands. Ren’s own hands found Hux’s waist, squeezing and holding him as he leaned forward and explored Hux’s mouth just as eagerly. Ren moaned, and Hux smirked, pulling back.

“You are tired. Normally you’re impatient to get started.”

“I missed you.” Ren squeezed his waist, and his gaze pinned Hux again. “Something… I don’t know. I feel like something will happen soon. I’m worried about it.”

Hux arched an eyebrow. “More of your magic?”

Ren scowled. “It’s not like my visions haven’t been accurate before.”

“Yes, but you usually have something more concrete than a ‘bad feeling.’”

“Well, I don’t this time.”

“Noted. I, on the other hand, have an extremely good feeling.” Hux smirked, moving his way down Ren’s chest. He rutted against Ren’s cock and sucked on one of his nipples, enjoying Ren’s helpless moan and the way his body tensed beneath him.

He brushed his teeth thoughtfully against Ren’s pert nipple, realizing that he would be too tired for a sonic himself once they finished, and he hated the thought of falling asleep so debauched before an important meeting.

“Wait,” Hux said, placing a palm against Ren’s chest and sitting up. “Fuck me in the sonic instead.”

Ren frowned, looking impatient. “I already took one. And like you said, I’m impatient.”

“You also just said you missed me.” Hux swung his leg over Ren and the side of the bed, standing up. “Come. I know you like this just as much.”

“I _just had one_ ,” Ren muttered, slightly more gracelessly than Hux would have expected. But he sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and leaning forward, face in hands, dark hair draped between his fingers. He was noticeably hard in his tight pants. “We were just getting started.”

“Stand up,” Hux snapped, using his commanding tone of voice. Ren only glared at him, and it gave Hux an idea. “Then kneel. I want to see just how much you’ve missed me.”

A strange look passed over Ren’s face, but his sullenness vanished almost immediately, replaced by the dark amusement that meant Ren’s mood was balanced on a knife’s edge.

“I thought I’d give you a handjob instead,” Ren said smoothly, voice controlled, even as he knelt on the floor at Hux’s feet, his hands curled in his lap, his wet hair hanging limp around his bare shoulders. He closed his eyes and looked as if he were meditating, and Hux knew it was an attempt to make himself look above whatever game they were playing.

Hux knew he very much wasn’t. This game was all for Ren, in fact.

“Knees apart,” Hux snapped, pulling himself to attention. He’d done so few trooper inspections since the beginning of the weapons program work. This was almost novel.

Ren tipped his head slightly as if taking a moment to understand Hux, but spread his knees readily enough. His erection still tented his tight pants, which meant he wasn’t being contrary - Ren had once meditated away his arousal to prove Hux wrong about his self-control. That had been infuriating.

Hux waited, because he knew Ren was impatient. When Ren didn’t move, he began pacing, taking several steps back and forth in front of him. That was enough to make Ren squirm with anticipation, his shoulders shifting backward and his mouth pulling down slightly.

Several appealing options occurred to Hux, some for Ren, and some for himself. But he smirked when he realized what the most shocking would be.

He placed the flat of his bare foot gently against Ren’s erection, and Ren all but jumped out of his skin, his mouth falling open, his hands shifting to brace his body against the floor.

“Were you expecting my hand?” Hux asked, managing to make his voice drip with disdain. “Do you think you deserve that tonight?”

“Yes,” Ren said, his voice no longer the steady calm it had been earlier, his act all but shattered. But he still hung onto his defiance.

He was always so much himself, and he was excellent. The most exceptional person Hux had ever met. His smirk widened. “You do. But we so rarely get what we deserve. It’s a hard lesson.”

He balanced on his back leg as he leaned forward, putting more pressure on Ren’s cock. Ren made another noise deep in his chest. Hux studied his expression, watching the slight twitch of his lids, the way his brows drew together, the way the dim light in the suite did nothing to flatter his pale skin.

He frowned, unsatisfied. “Open your eyes and look at me when I’m speaking to you,” he ordered.

Ren did, the command making him grin. The savageness of his smile had always suited him. “Why?” Ren asked, his voice more controlled now. “Like what you see, General?”

“No,” Hux answered flatly, forcing his expression back to neutral. “All I see is an insubordinate piece of shit.” He shifted his weight again, using his toes to stroke along Ren’s erection, teasing him. Ren’s eyes went half-lidded, and his lips parted in surprise again, the attention clearly taking him off guard.

Something about this - the foreplay, Ren’s face, what Hux was doing - suddenly made Hux’s chest tighten. He paused for a moment, trying to parse the feeling. Hux had given orders to Ren before, usually with equally amusing results, though it had never quite gone like this. They were both enjoying themselves, but they’d also had better. There was suddenly something wrong, and Hux didn’t understand what it was.

When Hux paused, Ren gently wrapped a hand around Hux’s foot, steadying him by his waist at the other. While holding Hux’s gaze, he bent over, bringing Hux’s bare foot up higher, and laid a kiss against his ankle.

Hux was suddenly speechless. Ren had a way of gracefully offering adoration that sometimes took Hux off guard. Not often, but the gesture made him completely forget his unease.

“What are you doing?” Hux asked, his voice softening from its earlier commanding tone.

“You seemed distracted,” Ren murmured, brushing his lips along the bare sole of Hux’s foot. Hux wanted to jerk his foot back - he hadn’t showered, his foot had been in his boots all day - but Ren didn’t seem to mind, closing his eyes and brushing his stubbled cheek against the sensitive skin. “And if I’d said something, you would have had me do something like kiss your boots anyway.”

That niggled at the back of Hux’s thoughts as well, but before he could think too hard, Ren stood, spreading his arms.

“Well? You had your fun. Take off my pants, and let’s get in the sonic. You promised I could fuck you.”

“I promised no such thing. My only promise was that I needed one,” Hux replied, just to be contrary. But he obligingly knelt and pulled Ren’s exercise pants off, freeing his erection. Hux considered it for a moment, thinking that Ren wouldn’t object to a blowjob before the sonic, but before he could lean forward, Ren had pulled him up from the floor, yanking his shirt and boxers off and all but dragging him to the still-steamy refresher.

“I hate waiting,” he muttered, commanding the lights back up into the room as Hux sorted out the controls on the sonic. He’d barely started the water flow when Ren yanked him around, his mouth on Hux's body, sucking a mark low on his neck where the uniform collar would hide it, tracing his tongue along his collarbones.

Hux loved it when Ren couldn’t keep his mouth off him. Hux wasn’t much to look at, but his body seemed to delight Ren. Hux wrapped his fingers through Ren's hair, guiding his head to the places he liked Ren’s mouth best. In exchange for being guided, Ren bit and sucked harder than was strictly necessary, his big hands wrapped around Hux’s waist, his mouth and teeth all over Hux’s sensitive skin, marking him.

When Ren had had enough, he grabbed Hux by the ass and lifted him, stepping into the shower and setting them down. Ren tended to move Hux as he liked, and Hux had grown quite fond of these sudden shows of his strength. He should have hated being pushed around by Ren, but somehow, Hux always felt more in control of Ren’s passions than Ren himself, who could hardly help himself.

Ren kissed him again, and the combination of Ren’s mouth and the hot water pounding down felt absolutely exquisite. There were few things Hux enjoyed as much as a hot water sonic with Ren. Both felt like an indulgence. Hux broke the kiss to lean back, examining the half-lidded, absolutely helpless look on Ren’s face. They hadn’t even started fucking, and Ren was already far gone.

“How clean do you have to be before we start?” Ren asked, voice low.

“Clean me after. Do it now.”

Ren had always been good at following orders he wanted to hear, and it took only a moment for him to locate the lubricant and spread it on his fingers. Soon, he was reaching around, his big fingers finding their way deep into Hux’s ass.

He paused for a moment, index finger just inside, and grunted in surprise. “Did you already get yourself ready?”

Hux smirked. “No. But I may have indulged this morning, in your absence.”

The astonished expression on Ren’s face almost made Hux laugh. “With your fingers?”

“No, with a trooper.”

Ren was a fool, so his expression was almost hopelessly overwhelmed. All of it would have been humiliating, years ago - an admission that Hux had missed Ren, that he had wanted fucked by Ren, and even that he had masturbated with his fingers. Ren, of course, knew all this, though Hux didn’t mind any of it anymore. Ren looked as if he would cry, and he still had a finger up Hux’s ass. Hux pushed some of his dark hair out of his face.

“Hux, I love you, I do, I can’t-”

“Quiet,” Hux ordered, not quite wanting to hear it. Ren still looked helpless, so Hux pulled his head to his shoulder, fingers in his hair, and Ren held him, arms around his chest, squeezing him tightly.

Stars. He really was a fool. But it was incredible to be wanted this much, to know that Ren would always come back from wherever he’d been, from murdering and pillaging and whatever else they’d made him do, and _want_ Hux like this. Sometimes, Ren did cry, and Hux didn’t know what to do with him.

Today, he didn’t. He simply leaned back and stared at Hux, his expression still flushed and naked. He looked so young and unassuming. He always wore his helmet to hide his face in public now, Hux wasn’t entirely sure anyone would know Kylo Ren without it. Only Hux.

“I missed you,” Ren said simply, finally controlling his expression.

“I know. Show me,” Hux insisted, guiding his hand back down to his ass. Ren obliged, working less gently now that he knew Hux had done it earlier in the day.

Ren was usually eager, but he was almost agonizingly slow now, taking his time pushing his fingers in and out, slow about adding another, then another. Hux didn’t truly need it, and had masturbated fairly vigorously this morning. He likely could have taken Ren’s cock without foreplay, but he allowed Ren to enjoy himself.

After several long minutes, the hand in Ren’s hair pulled Ren away from his shoulder, and he pushed another hand against his chest. Ren looked almost confused, and Hux let out an exasperated huff.

“Enough,” he ordered, his voice sharp once again. “Normally you’re begging me to touch your cock by now. Fuck me and let’s go to bed."

Hux watched the expressions play across Ren’s face - want, surprise, exasperation, eagerness. Watching Ren react to sex, to Hux’s body and Hux’s teasing, was nearly as good as the sex itself. 

Ren also still managed to surprise him, too - Hux wasn’t expecting it when Ren stepped back and took both of their cocks in his slick hand, stroking them together. Hux used to hate the comparison between Ren’s cock and his own, but he closed his eyes and gasped aloud, hands on Ren’s chest. He loved Ren’s talented hands, and it was Hux’s body that Ren wanted to see, no one else’s.

After a moment, Hux stepped back, eager now to have Ren inside him. He forced his expression stern, pushing his hair out of his face, then turned and braced himself against the wall of the sonic, allowing the hot water to pound against his back.

Then, slowly, very slowly, Ren pushed his way inside.

Ren had been gone on a long assignment, and Hux had missed him very much. They still generally preferred sex with Hux fucking Ren, but this too… Ren pushing himself inside Hux, splitting Hux open with his big cock and big hands and big body, Hux being entirely at his mercy and knowing he could order Ren to stop and do as he liked whenever he wanted...

Hux closed his eyes, steadying himself, almost dizzy from the intensity and the heat of the water. After a moment, he turned and peered over his shoulder.

“Faster, Ren. You won’t break me.”

Ren let out a helpless sound at the admonishment, but did as ordered and stuffed his big cock inside Hux, filling him. Hux always felt so _used_ , the center of Ren’s world when this happened. He forced himself not to react, to remain silent, knowing that Ren enjoyed the idea that Hux was unaffected by this. Hux had feigned it for long enough that Ren would have moved on if he hadn’t enjoyed it.

After a pause when Ren was inside him, Ren began fucking him in earnest. Not too fast, not hard enough that he would hurt Hux. Ren seemed to know Hux’s body better than Hux himself, and Hux trusted him implicitly during sex. Ren would never do anything to hurt him, even if only out of fear that Hux would stop or throw him out.

Still. Sex with Ren was like nothing else. Ren knew exactly how fast to go, what angle would cause Hux to eventually let out a short grunt every time their hips came in contact. Hux’s fingers curled against the tile of the sonic, and he closed his eyes, letting everything go, as he so rarely did.

“Hux,” Ren murmured breathlessly behind him. Hux turned, looking over his shoulder again.

“Kylo.”

Ren’s expression turned helpless again, as if he would cry. The line of his mouth firmed, his brows drew together, and he was completely ridiculous, fucking Hux like that.

“Kylo Ren. What am I to do with you?”

* * *

  
As Hux enjoyed his orgasm and the pleasant afterglow, Ren dutifully washed him in the sonic, taking the kind of care they would both claim him incapable of. He carried Hux back to the bed, then fell immediately asleep, obviously exhausted and spent. Hux studied him in the low light of the room, his damp hair fanned out across the pillow, his face slack. Though he did look young for the image of himself he maintained, he was significantly more troubled and careworn than he'd been when they’d met.

Hux was still too restless to sleep, so he picked up Ren’s discarded clothing and cleaned up in his now private ‘fresher. It was a relief not to run into Brendol stumbling through the suite, and he wondered if he should begin living in Brendol’s quarters. They were larger, but the idea was distasteful. Perhaps Ren would find a use for them when he moved in. 

When he lowered the suite lights and climbed back into bed, Ren didn’t stir, even when he yanked at the sheets. Hux stared at him in the darkness for another moment, then pulled the blankets up over them both and pressed his back against Ren’s side for warmth.

There was still something twisting at the back of his thoughts, an undefined anxiety that had been festering since Ren had come back tonight. It was stronger than his old hesitations about getting close to Ren, something worse. But Hux went over the events of the evening again, and found nothing unusual. In fact, he was immensely pleased with himself - Brendol was still dead, he was a general, and he was to take part in High Command meetings starting tomorrow.

He closed his eyes and focused on Ren’s slow breathing, deciding to disregard his anxiety and sleep well next to Ren.

In a moment, they shot open again, and he sat up, gripping the blanket. He began shaking Ren by the shoulder.

“You. You aren’t asleep, are you?”

“What?” Ren blinked, rolling over and looking at him blearily. “I was. What’s wrong?”

Hux’s stomach had begun cramping in panic. “Your vision,” Hux began, stopping, failing to find a way to ask that didn’t sound stupid.

Ren’s brows drew together. “Vision? Like… earlier, when I said I felt like something bad would happen? Why are you asking me about that? I told you, I didn’t have a vision-” 

“No, not that. It was one of your visions. The one-”

Ren, obviously sensing Hux’s agitation, pushed himself up on an elbow. “Which one? What are you talking about?”

“The one you showed me when we met,” Hux hissed, humiliated and miserable, not entirely sure this would sound significant aloud. “On Gan, when we were in the outdoor shelter during the storm. You showed me… this.” He gestured to the bed. “This room. Our lives, now. I was a general, and you came home from a mission. I had you kneel, and played with your cock with my foot. We took a shower together, and you fucked me. The expressions on my face, what you said to me. _Everything was the same_.”

The confusion melted from Ren’s face, and annoyingly, he looked more pleased with himself. “Oh, yeah, I remember that. You’re right! We’ve had a lot of sex, so I don't know for sure, but it seemed the same.”

“It was,” Hux insisted, “Mostly. I think there were some differences, but it’s…”

“Yeah. I mean, it could be any night I come home from a mission, I guess.” Ren looked thoughtful, but as he opened his mouth to say something else, he caught sight of the look on Hux’s face, and his mood immediately soured. “What’s wrong? Are you upset because I definitely saw the future?” Ren sounded more annoyed. “I’ve told you for years I could. I mean, I don’t think I’ve seen anything so specific that came true, but it’s kinda nice. Did you think I was lying before now? What did you think I was showing you?”

“I believed you were seeing something, but, it was…” The vision, Hux remembered it very vividly now. All the times Ren had shared a vision were memorable, because Ren felt everything so much more strongly than Hux.

But that had been the first one, and Hux remembered very well how visceral Ren’s enjoyment had felt - Hux had never felt that way while having sex with someone, and had reacted poorly to it at the time. He still didn’t enjoy sex the way Ren did, but he was fascinated by Ren’s pleasure. Watching Ren was such a big part the experience for Hux. Perhaps Ren’s visions had made him more aware of Ren’s pleasure, and that it was something he could see so plainly on Ren’s face.

But his own reactions had been more upsetting when he’d seen that vision. Hux had been enjoying himself in a way that had been foreign to him at the time. The expression on his future self’s face had so clearly been one of love, too. 

Did he look like that now? His hands wrapped themselves anxiously in the blankets, and he turned to ask Ren. But staring into Ren’s eyes, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. 

Ren grew more concerned. “Hux? What’s wrong? Is there something else?”

Hux only stared, and blanked his expression to the one he used for speaking to his superiors, the one that hid his thoughts.

He realized it wasn’t a question of whether his expression now matched Ren’s old vision. Hux knew it did. But he wondered just how long that had been going on. When had that started?

“When did I change?” Hux blurted, not able to make the question any more clear.

Ren scowled, his concern vanishing. “You never change. You’ve never believed my visions.”

“No, not that, it’s-” What was he supposed to say? How could he ask this? “I’ve changed.”

“No. You’re the same as when I met you.” Ren was clearly annoyed, and he laid back down, turning away and putting his back to Hux.

Hux twisted the blankets so hard they nearly tore, anxiety pooling painfully in his stomach. When had he changed? How could he explain this to Ren?

He thought of the vision again. He remembered thinking he looked like a lovesick fool. That the vision wasn’t really him.

“I’ve changed,” Hux insisted aloud, pushing against Ren’s shoulder until he rolled onto his back. Ren still looked angry. “I don’t know when. But it happened. I changed. And I’m sorry.”

Ren looked more amused. “You’re sorry? That’s a first.”

“I’m sorry for resisting it for so long. And for thinking so poorly of you, when you tried to help me change.”

Hux hadn’t planned on saying that, but he realized it was true. He let it stand, knowing he wasn’t himself in the moment.

Ren stared at him, his expression as unreadable as Hux’s. But after a moment, Ren sat back up, reaching over to Hux slowly, holding the back of Hux’s head in one of his hands and kissing him again, slow and hot and long, the way that Hux liked best. Hux wrapped a hand around Ren’s neck, laying a thumb against his pulse point, and enjoyed the way that Ren’s heart beat harder.

When Ren pulled back, he looked satisfied, but… tired, still. Exhausted. He had dark circles under his eyes, he was too pale, and tension held his features too tight. 

Ren nodded, once. “Good. Do you feel better?”

Hux did not. He was still anxious, not able to dispel that, somehow, Ren’s visions being confirmed was _bad_. He hated that the revelation about the changes in his personal life had snuck up on him, he hated that all of this had happened to him. He didn’t want to undo it, but he wasn’t sure how to reconcile himself with the person who first saw Ren’s vision, or which of them was wrong.

Hux couldn’t say any of that aloud. But Ren could read his mind, or at least his emotions. He was picking up on at least some of what bothered Hux, and looked weary. “You don’t feel better.”

“I do,” Hux insisted, deciding not to worry Ren. “Go to sleep. I’ll be myself in the morning.”

With that, he disentangled himself from Ren’s grip and laid back down, his back once again to Ren. Ren was silent for a moment, but then curled up around Hux’s back, pressing his face into Hux’s shoulder and slinging one of his arms around Hux’s waist. Hux could feel his breathing slow after only a few minutes.

But Hux was far from tired now. There was too much wrong - that he’d changed, that he’d changed without noticing, that _Ren’s visions had come true_. While Hux had accepted some of Ren’s unique powers, others still sounded impossible. It was acceptable that Ren had visions, and that he could share them with Hux in a viscerally unpleasant way. It wasn’t acceptable that they came true.

The implications of that led straight back to Ren’s Starkiller vision, which still gave him nightmares over a year later. Hux didn’t want that vision to come true, and could understand too well how it could have if he’d pursued his weapon. That Ren had seen it might imply that it would come true. Was it already certain, and Hux couldn’t control it? That seemed impossible. The plans had been destroyed.

Still. Ren could see the future, and Ren had seen Hux kill billions. It was awful. Hux would need to ask Ren tomorrow, after they woke up.

The decision calmed him, and he managed to settle his mind and slide into sleep, knowing he’d need to be well-rested and at his best for tomorrow’s meeting. He began going back over what he’d been working on before Ren’s arrival - his plans, his self-congratulations, how _good_ everything was now.

He had no dreams.

* * *

When Hux awoke the next morning, it was to an empty bed, which was disappointing but not unusual. Ren’s schedule had never stopped being a mystery to Hux. When he’d ask why Ren was gone some mornings but comatose others, Ren’s explanations were rambling, hard to follow, and involved the Force. Hux suspected Ren often made them up.

He still wanted to ask Ren about the Starkiller vision, whether it could still happen, but perhaps it was best to postpone that conversation - he could go to the High Command meeting without having to worry about it.

There was little to prepare for the meeting, since Ren’s comment had made him realize he would not need his extensive notes. He prepared a short list of major points to address should he be asked, and spent a few extra moments on his appearance, selecting his best uniform and greatcoat and spending extra time on his hair. He always spent too long preening in the mirror, so he looked the same. But precision would still do.

His new uniform with its upgraded rank stripes was still exhilarating every time he caught sight of the sleeve, or whenever anyone else noticed. By the time he reached the High Command meeting chamber, he felt confident, knowing that he was the youngest general in the First Order and absolutely deserved to be among all the older ex-Imperials and lifers.

As little as he cared for those he knew, Hux still exchanged nods and polite greetings. Christo Trayal, a gregarious Colonel that had disliked his father but had always been fond of Hux, treated him to a round of introductions before the meeting. It was a kind gesture that Hux was grateful for, but he had always hated Trayal’s outspoken, upbeat personality, and worried he would make a bad first impression. He hoped that the others, who all possessed the usual mask of professional indifference, didn’t think less of him for it.

“Kastor! I’m sure you heard Brendol’s son during the memorial the other day,” Trayal said by way of introduction, shaking hands with a tall, severe-looking admiral with a shaved head and cold eyes. “Armitage will be taking his place from here on out.”

“Armitage,” the Admiral acknowledged, inclining her head and freezing Hux in place with her eyes. “Admiral Kastor. I’m head of the Sector E expansion project.”

“Admiral,” Hux greeted in return, inclining his head and clenching his jaw. He’d always been ‘Armitage’ while his father had lived, though similarly, his father had been as likely to be addressed as ‘Brendol’ as by his rank. He’d hoped he could use his rank and surname more often. Being introduced by his first name here was inconvenient. He couldn’t correct Trayal without sounding overly particular, and he knew it would stick in the minds of the older High Command members until they died.

He smiled, making his excuses and finding his place at the conference table. He decided to introduce himself, if necessary, after the meeting. So far, Trayal hadn’t introduced him to anyone significant, and it didn’t matter overly if some trumped-up colonel out in Wild Space called him Armitage. He glanced at the more notable members of the Naval high command, and his counterpart at the pilot training academy, an older man called Tenan. Perhaps he could strike up a conversation later.

For now, he pulled out his datapad and looked busy while stealing glances around the room. Admiral Brooks chatted quietly and mixed with those standing in pairs around the room. About half the members had already taken their seats, engaged in their datapads. Hux took note of who was speaking to whom, and where, and how quietly.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when Kylo Ren, fully masked and in the robes of his public persona, strode into the room just before the start of the meeting, when the remaining conversations had broken up and the last members were taking their seats. The last quiet murmurs ceased in Ren’s wake, and Ren didn’t pause or glance around the chamber until he stood behind the seat at the head of the table, his hands by his side, helmet obscuring his features, the messy cowl and cape partially covering his helmet and shoulders.

Hux had to make an effort not to stare, or to otherwise acknowledge that he knew Ren. It would be unprofessional, though he didn’t particularly care that he was associated with Ren - Ren was one of the most famous and celebrated members of the Order, and was still used heavily in their propaganda and recruitment strategies. He was, as far as Hux knew, still considered mysterious, and didn’t speak to anyone but Hux and Snoke.

But it was difficult to be professional when Ren’s presence at the High Command meeting was such a betrayal. He seemed to fit, as if he’d been here the whole time. Had he? Was Hux a fool to think this was an exciting and special privilege? Why had Ren never told him he attended? Hux would have enjoyed hearing about it.

Worse, why had Ren not told him he was coming today? That stung worse than it should have, though Ren never talked about what he did save to complain about it.

A moment after Ren was in place, a holoprojection of the Supreme Leader flickered into focus in the head chair, and Hux fought to keep his expression steady as he laid eyes on the Supreme Leader for the first time.

It wasn’t the first time, of course, because Hux had seen him in Ren’s vision. Only once, in the worst vision. The sight of him, his orders, and his effect on Ren, had haunted Hux almost as much as the Hosnian atrocity itself. It was fortunate he’d known what to expect now, because his surprise may have betrayed him. Hux had always pictured the mysterious Supreme Leader as an older man, perhaps elderly, stiff-backed and overly officious and secretive. Famously, only members of High Command spoke to him. 

Hux understood why, looking at him again. The reality of a horribly scarred xeno being the head of the First Order was still difficult for Hux to believe, and he’d half-hoped it hadn’t been true, though Ren had told him otherwise. If word got out, there would be _problems_ , to say the least.

Snoke’s eyes found Hux, and the less scarred side of his face lifted into a brief smirk that sent ice down Hux’s spine. Snoke had looked at him, and smirked. Certainly that was significant, and Hux emphatically didn’t want to think of why.

As Hux silently panicked, Snoke slowly made eye contact with every officer at the table before beginning the meeting.

“Welcome, once again, to my most loyal officers. Your service to the First Order is invaluable. Most of you-” Snoke’s eyes cut to Hux once again, then away - “have not met my apprentice, Kylo Ren. His reputation precedes him, I’m sure. He has won his place as the Master of the Knights of Ren, the famous mercenaries that serve no one but themselves. And now they serve the First Order. Kylo Ren has won many victories for us, and though I continue to nurture and grow his powers myself, I can assure you he’s already exceeded Darth Vader, his grandfather.”

There was an audible shuffling noise at this. Hux kept his expression impassive. That was another surprise that Ren had already prepared him for. Hux had never asked, but eyeing Ren’s helmet and dark robes now, he wondered if Ren’s choice of appearance had also been inspired by his famously terrifying grandfather. The ex-Imperials still told stories of witnessing the wrath of Darth Vader as young officers and ensigns.

“You will be seeing more of Kylo Ren in the future. I called the meeting today because the time has come to announce his first command.”

Hux frowned. Snoke’s speech implied that Ren had never been to one of these meetings before, which eased Hux’s sense of betrayal. But the idea that Ren could be given a command without saying anything was almost as bad. Ren was even younger than Hux, and command was a high honor. Hux would be jealous, if he wasn’t already head of the training program, but Ren not sharing the good news with him hurt.

“I’m also pleased to introduce another new member of High Command,” Snoke continued, this time nodding more obviously in Hux’s direction. Thirty pairs of eyes turned to regard Hux. “General Armitage Hux, whose late father served the First Order so well, will be stepping into the active role his father once occupied before his tragic early passing. The General had recently been in charge of weapons research related to Trooper armament and protection, but will now be heading the entirety of the Stormtrooper program. I’ve appointed General Hux myself, and I expect him to be afforded the same level of respect as the late Brendol.”

The speech was perfect, except for the part where Snoke mentioned the personal appointment. That sounded more like he was promoted based on nepotism, rather than because he’d earned it. Hux hadn’t known Snoke had personally selected him, he’d assumed he’d been the best candidate. Why had Snoke made the appointment personally? Why would he need to?

Hux shifted his gaze from Snoke to Ren’s blank, helmeted face. There was no response or help from him. Hux wondered if he’d known this beforehand, too. Were all these bombshells the reason Ren had left the room before Hux had woken up?

“With introductions out of the way,” Snoke continued before Hux could rise and thank him for the appointment, “One of the main reasons I’ve called everyone here today is to discuss our new initiative.”

A holo of a blue, icy planet appeared in the middle of the conference table. It rotated slowly for a few moments, enough for Hux to see that it was featureless and likely unoccupied, then a small gray moon appeared next to it. After a moment, Hux realized it wasn’t a moon, but rather the first Death Star, its laser unmistakable.

The Death Star had neither attacked nor orbited any such planet. What was-

“You all recognize the Death Star, I’m sure.” At this, the ice planet shrank in size, and the Death Star was enlarged to make it more visible. “This is its first version, significantly disadvantaged to the second, though both were destroyed quickly due to major design flaws. This was the Empire’s ultimate weapon. They destroyed Alderaan with it, and nearly brought the Rebellion to heel. It would have worked, had it not been so poorly designed. The threat of planetary annihilation for governments that went against the Emperor would have been a sufficient deterrent. No freedom fighter wishes to be responsible for the deaths of so many innocents.”

“But it was flawed, and it fell, along with all the lives of those aboard. The idea was sound, and they built a second, with similar results. We lost the Emperor to the failure of the second Death Star.” At this, Snoke paused, looking around the table again. “However, technology has advanced since the days of the Death Star. In addition to its fatal flaws, it had other strategic weaknesses. It needed to be piloted, and it needed to be close to maintenance facilities. It also needed to be navigated through potential travel hazards to be close to the planets that needed eliminated.”

 _Eliminated_. As if the destruction of Alderaan hadn’t been an atrocity, a war crime that had caused everyone in the galaxy to side with the Rebellion. That wasn’t the way to peace. The threat of annihilation was sound enough, but actually doing it… Hux’s attention slid to Ren, visible from the corner of his eye just behind Snoke’s seat. Ren would have been prince of that culture, had the planet still existed.

The talk of the Death Star made Hux shift in his seat, and reminded him uncomfortably of Ren’s vision, and of Starkiller. Starkiller didn’t exist anymore. It couldn’t be in the future, because Hux had erased it completely. They couldn’t do anything like the Death Star now, because Hux had researched it. The technology didn’t exist.

“Our scientists and technicians have been working on theoretical advances in weaponry and shields, as well as possible locations to research and work on a large-scale project similar to the Death Star. I am pleased to announce that such projects are both more possible and closer to realization than we would have believed. Leaders, this is the planet Ilum.”

The Death Star image disappeared, and the ice planet was once again projected lage above the table, rotating slowly on its axis.

“We’ve selected it as the perfect site to develop our new experimental weapon. The Starkiller.”

Hux’s ears rang as Snoke kept talking, explaining the theories behind the project _that he’d named_ , theories that he’d assigned and developed himself among the experts that he could find. He watched as a simulation showed the planet being excavated, showed High Command the planetary shielding grid that Hux had been wishing into existence, showed the excavation of the equator and the slow progress of a massive canon, driven by theoretical physics. Starkiller was capable of destroying a planet from across the galaxy, and more than one planet.

It was also an atrocity. It was impossible. It was exactly what Hux had been working on in his spare time, given a location and a workable budget and set of parameters. He was furious as Snoke explained timelines and that scientists were already at work on sections of it.

He turned and stared pointedly at Ren, realizing there was no other way for Snoke to have seen the plans. Ren had somehow found them in his suite and brought them straight to Snoke. Hux had been a fool to trust him, and the anxiety he’d felt about confronting a trusting future version of himself turned to ash, then to pounding, blinding rage.

The _hypocrite_. How could Ren complain so openly, so _treasonously_ , of First Order policy, then facilitate this kind of…

Hux’s grip tightened on his datapad until the durasteel frame creaked and the screen darkened around his thumbs.

 _Traitor_.

Ren gave no sign that he was watching the presentation, or noticing Hux’s attentions, which he could allegedly sense. Which he allegedly knew better than anyone else. Which Hux had shared with him for years-

“Excellent,” an officer’s voice nearby Hux cut into his murderous thoughts. “It’s exactly what we need to give us an advantage.”

“Not just an advantage,” another officer, an older Admiral, continued, looking thoughtfully at the schematics projected over the table. “This will win the war. Definitively. Immediately.”

 _No_. Hux opened his mouth, then closed it, looking around the table at the faces of the entire High Command. Murmurs of appreciation continued, and it was everything Hux had thought himself, before Ren - _traitor_ \- had shown him the vision.

 _Was it true?_ a voice asked now. _Did he only do that to scare you? Did he just tell you it was the future? And you were stupid enough to believe him_?

 _Hux. Armitage_. another voice said, louder and more insistently, and it sounded like Ren. Hux glanced to him again, his mask and posture giving nothing away, but he shifted slightly. Had he just… spoken into Hux’s thoughts?

“Ah, this is exactly the reception I was hoping for,” Snoke finally continued, sounding extremely pleased with himself. “We can start the project immediately. Are we all in agreement?”

Hux stiffened as he heard the chorus of “ayes” from around the table. He remembered what Ren - _traitor_ \- had said about not standing out, not speaking out. They wouldn’t listen to him. It galled him now, made him burn with anger, but Ren was right. Now was the time to speak out, to try to make them see what an atrocity this could turn into. But they wouldn’t listen. Hux could tell by the looks on their faces that they had all decided, and their youngest, newest member would be disregarded.

“Excellent.” Snoke clasped his hands in front of himself, leaning forward. “I’ve already selected the Commander for the project. I know I normally leave it to you to assign such duties. Since this will be its own department, I thought the choice would be less clear to you, but I have a solution I feel very strongly about.” 

Hux kept his expression perfectly blank as he glanced around the room, seeing much the same thing on every face, and yet everyone leaned forward minutely. There was a near-vacuum as each member of High Council inhaled simultaneously. 

They all wanted it. Every single one. It would be so prestigious.

“Armitage Hux.”

Hux jerked, then turned to look at the Supreme Leader, his xeno face with the horrible scars and his washed-out, colorless eyes.

“Sir.”

“Congratulations. I know you’re young, but I think you’re ambitious, and your record with the First Order is exemplary, your loyalty unquestioned. Your service with the training program under your late and lamented father shows that you are willing to innovate and do what it takes to succeed. I am appointing you head of the Starkiller project.” Snoke leaned forward, his eyes piercing Hux, his scarred expression giving nothing away, though the inflection of his voice changed. “I am certain your… vision will lead us to victory.”

Hux kept his face frozen in the same non-expression, even as his stomach twisted so hard he thought he might lose his morning tea. _Unquestioned loyalty_ was something he might have embraced, under other circumstances. Now, in relation to this project, the statement rang in his ears. Snoke’s comments about the vision meant that Ren had told him the plans had come from Hux, which didn’t make sense. If he was stealing them anyway, why wouldn’t he just take credit for them? Did Ren honestly think he was doing Hux a favor?

Hux thought of the other parts of the vision, where Snoke commanded Ren to murder his father for no reason. Was that something Snoke had compelled him to do?

Hux jerked his thoughts away from that path. If the vision about Starkiller had been a lie to deceive Hux into… whatever this was… command? Why had Ren done what he did, if Hux had gotten command anyway? Had he wanted the project himself, and let slip that Hux had begun the work, so Snoke had given Hux command instead?

None of it made sense. Ren couldn’t be trusted. Ren did not deserve his sympathy.

The entire room was silent, and Snoke still held his gaze. Clearly they were waiting for a response from Hux. He stood and saluted sharply, swallowing before he said the only thing he could, under the circumstances.

“It is an honor, Supreme Leader. I accept, and I will lead the First Order to victory.”

Everyone else in the room saluted, and Hux sat. Snoke nodded, then turned to look at Ren. “I think it only appropriate that I give my apprentice a share in this project, so he can learn about the First Order more directly. His role to now has been outside normal operations, but if he is to follow me one day, he needs to know how command decisions are made. And so I am making the Starkiller project a co-command, between General Armitage Hux and Kylo Ren, leader of the Knights of Ren.”

Ren didn’t move or speak, and as a few seconds of anticipation passed, Snoke seemed to turn away, uninterested in what Ren had to say on the subject.

“I am eager to see the initial steps my new co-commanders take to get the project off the ground. Armitage, I believe you are familiar with some of the research projects that are already in place?”

Snoke’s gaze pinned him again, and Hux was more certain than ever that Snoke knew where the plans had come from. Hux wasn’t sure whether to take it as an admonishment or not, especially given the deliberate use of his first name.

“Yes, sir. I will begin expanding on those programs immediately.”

“See that you do.” Snoke turned to the rest of the table, his expression suddenly softening, his gaze going unfocused. He placed his hands on the table in front of him.

“The project will remain highly classified until the co-commanders and I change the security clearance. No one is to know about it outside the room, and Armitage has already taken steps to disguise the research. Any rumors outside this chamber will be investigated as treason against the Order.” Snoke’s expression remained slack, and he continued after a moment. “That concludes my business with you today. My apprentice has business with some of you after the meeting. He will speak to you immediately. Everyone else is dismissed.”

Abruptly, the holo of Supreme Leader Snoke vanished, and an awkward silence followed. Did Snoke always disappear? Did he always introduce projects like this?

Ren stepped forward. “Fleet Admiral Tal,” he said mechanically. “Everyone else may leave.”

Tal looked curiously at Ren, then at the Naval officer to his right. Hux had no idea what Ren’s business with him was, because Ren had never mentioned he dealt with High Command before. Hux stood, glancing around as three or four of the officers left immediately. Two or three small groups formed, whispering furtively as they made their way to the door, glancing at him.

Trayal clapped him on the shoulder. Hux turned to face him, surprised by the contact.

“Excellent work,” he said in a flat voice, his expression and gaze empty. “Good luck with that.”

His fond tone and warm exuberance had vanished. Hux stared at his back as he walked away. No one else approached him, and all eyed him as if he had committed some unspeakable offense during the meeting.

Slowly, it occurred to him that being given the command was nearly as catastrophic as speaking out would have been. Snoke had made every officer in High Command an enemy. He was now unequivocally an equal, and he hadn’t had to earn it, just as he hadn’t really earned the seat at High Command. Blatant nepotism that didn’t favor their clique was famously loathed by the ex-Imperials. Even Hux hated it.

“General Hux,” Ren’s mechanical voice rang out through the quiet of the room. Hux froze, turning around to look at him, his expression neutral. “I will also have business with you, once my meeting with Tal concludes.”

Hux nodded stiffly, furious that Ren would speak to him in front of the others. “Comm me when your meeting is over.”

“No. My business with Tal is not private, and will be over quickly. You may remain here.”

 _You may remain here_ rang through Hux’s head like the insult it was. Who was Ren to give him orders? His co-commander? Nothing more, not now.

Tal glanced at Hux, frowning, then to Ren. “If this is business involving the Supreme Leader, I would prefer it to remain private.” He paused, shifting his weight awkwardly. “Lord Ren.”

Ren’s helmet swiveled to Hux, and Hux suppressed the absurd urge to laugh. _Lord Ren_. That had been Darth Vader's title, but Ren hardly warranted it. It was obvious that Tal had been groping for an honorific or title, though wasn’t that simply Ren? Was Kylo his name? Hux had never asked properly, which saddened him.

“No, Tal. The General will remain here. This business isn’t private.”

Omitting Tal’s rank was deliberately insulting after Tal had extended Ren a similar courtesy, and denying him privacy was even worse. Tal glanced back at Hux, giving him a sour look. Of all the members of High Command, Tal was among those who disliked Hux the most. He was one of Brendol’s cronies, though not one who had set out to purposely humiliate Hux. Tal had been an academy instructor in the early days of the Order, and his piloting classes had been some of Hux’s poorest marks, mostly because he refused to pass Hux.

For the opportunity to help insult Tal, Hux forgave Ren slightly. Maintaining eye contact with Tal, Hux took his seat and stared until the other members of High Command had all left.

As soon as the door to the hall slid closed, Tal turned back to Ren.

“What business does the Supreme Leader have for me that Brendol’s bastard needs to know?”

Hux raised his eyebrows. He was used to the name, though he hadn’t thought anyone would still bother with it as an insult.

But both Hux and Tal were shocked when, instead of speaking, Ren activated his lightsaber and quickly thrust it through the center of Tal’s chest. Ren paused for a second, then flicked the switch off, taking a step back and letting Tal’s body crumple, hitting a chair and the side of the table on the way down.

Hux didn’t see the expression on Tal’s face, and the murder had been quick enough that Tal hadn’t uttered a sound. Hux stood, palms on the tabletop, and looked from the dead body to Ren.

Ren’s helmet was pointed toward the body on the floor, his hand clenched around the hilt of his lightsaber, his legs spread in a ready position. Hux was hit with a sense of unreality - who was this? This wasn’t the man he’d come to know over the years, who slept in Hux’s bed and complained bitterly about unnecessary death. This wasn’t the man who had looked at Hux so tenderly last night, before the betrayal of this meeting.

It occurred to Hux that he’d never seen Ren work before, outside the recordings he was sent for propaganda. As Ren casually turned to the command controls on the conference table and ordered a disposal and cleaning droid, Hux thought he might not know Ren at all. This Kylo Ren might be killing Hux next. Why, though? Why not kill him in his rooms the night before?

“Is this what you do? All those lectures about killing innocents, and I see you execute an officer of the First Order at my first High Command meeting.”

Ren clipped his lightsaber to his belt, then turned to look at Hux. “Do you think that members of High Command might not have reasons to die?”

Hux thinned his lips. He might have done it himself, had the opportunity presented itself. “That’s not the point.” Hux began walking around the table, stopping at the corner, still some distance from Ren. “Are you going to kill me now? Is that why I’m here? Is that why you didn’t tell me you attend High Command meetings?” Hux paused, and the betrayal rose up to choke him once again. All of this, after last night. After…

“Why did you steal the plans to Starkiller? Why even tell Snoke I had anything to do with it, if you wanted the plans so badly for yourself? Why let me live? Why tell me-”

Ren had told him he loved him last night. Hux should have known better. Love was foolish. It was fake.

“Hux.” Ren put a hand out and took a step closer, and Hux took a step back, rage and betrayal overwhelming him. He laid a hand against his blaster in warning, and Ren froze. After a moment, his outstretched hand went to his helmet.

The _hiss_ of the helmet unlocking nearly undid Hux. He was a fool, and he could say anything he wanted to Ren’s helmet. But Ren’s face. Ren’s _expression_.

He’d always been a fool for Ren’s face, pleased or amused or tired or frustrated, ever since they’d first met. He looked anguished now, and his eyes were wet, as if he was about to cry in the High Command suite. Ridiculous. He was Kylo Ren. He had just killed a man.

“Hux,” Ren tried again, gripping his helmet in both hands, looking as if he’d crush it with his strength alone. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know I’d be here today. I answered an early summons from Snoke this morning, and he told me I’d be attending the meeting, and to kill Tal afterward. I didn’t know anything else. You know I don’t care about any of it. I told you I don’t know about my missions before Snoke assigns them. I’ve never been to a High Command meeting before. I would have told you last night, when you were so excited about coming.” He glanced down to the body, then back to Hux. "Should I have let him live? I didn't really think about that part. I’ve never met an officer that wasn’t complicit. No one believes like you do.”

“He was garbage,” Hux confirmed, waving the death away, still not quite over the idea that Ren would kill someone on command, without knowing why, like some common assassin. “But you knew how High Command worked. You told me not to prepare or speak.”

Ren’s expression went sour. “I learned that from my mother. Bureaucrats are the same everywhere.” His eyes softened, and his mouth twisted down. “You’re angry. I can feel it, I’ve never felt anything this strong from you before.”

“Of course I’m angry! Don’t be juvenile.” That Ren would accuse Hux of being angry was almost ridiculous. As if it were that simple. “Starkiller. How did Snoke know about Starkiller, Ren? You were the only person I told, the only person I _trusted_. You knew about it, said you saw it in a vision, and I believed you! You stole my plans from the room, and you made me believe it was your mystical nonsense. I was a fool, and I deleted everything and thought the whole thing was gone-”

Anger flashed across Ren’s face, and he placed his helmet gently on the conference table and closed the distance between them. This time, Hux allowed it.

“Was it me, Hux? Do you think I’d do something like that?”

“How else could it have happened,” he snapped. “They were my plans exactly. The shield, the size, the strategy. Even my name for it. You found it in my room when I wasn’t there, got around my security, my biometrics-”

“I don’t care about your files, Hux. I never have. You know that.”

“Then is the Supreme Leader periodically doing deep scans of my files? I have a right to privacy, and no one cares enough about me to violate it.”

“A right to privacy?” Ren’s expression turned mocking. “What about all those stormtroopers you monitor? All the privacy they believe they have? Is that the same thing?”

“Of course not,” Hux replied hurriedly, his stomach turning over. “They’re just troopers. Our monitors are for loyalty. We don’t care what’s in their personal data files.”

“Unless it’s disloyal.”

“Are you implying my father’s quarters are monitored?” Hux squinted at him, incredulous. “He was a member of High Command. If High Command isn’t loyal, we may as well turn Starkiller on our own fleet.”

“Of course not. Because everyone from the lowest stormtrooper up to the Supreme Leader’s apprentice has never had a disloyal thought about any First Order action.” Ren’s brown eyes bored into him, and Hux shifted.

“Are my quarters monitored? Do you know that for a fact? You’re the one who speaks treason aloud, Ren, not me.”

“No. You develop superweapons in secret. And delete the plans.” Ren’s voice had gone soft, and had taken on a cadence he used for interrogation. Hux didn’t like it. Ren would normally have his helmet on for this, but it was worse with Ren’s bare face, his every emotion and his cruelty visible. “I have no idea how your quarters are monitored. But you know better than anyone, don’t you? Everything is useful in the First Order, until it isn’t. Is it more likely that I stole your files, or that the First Order monitors all of your work?”

Hux clenched his jaw. He had his own ways of watching his rival officers when they believed they were in private. So did his father. His chest tightened. He could believe that, but was it true, or did he simply want to believe that Ren hadn’t betrayed him?

Ren sighed. “Why would I suddenly turn on you, after everything we’ve done together? After everything I’ve told you? Is it really so hard to believe all your data is monitored? And that Snoke, who orders genocides, would recover data you made about a system-eradicating superweapon? Or is it easier to believe that I slept with you and complained about my missions for years until I saw my chance to steal credit from you?”

Hux tightened his fists at his side until the leather of his gloves creaked, and he felt his face redden. He had to look away. Phrased like that, it was almost humiliating that he would suspect Ren. When he glanced back up, Ren was closer, and had a hand out between them.

Hux shook his head. “Your vision. Of Starkiller. I see it, still. I remember it every day, even though I thought I had erased it. The idea that the First Order might be capable of something like that… that you and I would ever do it. I can’t…” he trailed off. He didn’t have the words for that kind of atrocity. It wasn’t what the First Order did, it wasn’t what it had been created to do.

“I can’t,” he repeated simply. “That was why I got rid of it the first time.”

The corner of Ren’s mouth quirked. “Do you believe in my visions, now?”

“Yes!” There was no point in denying it, not after everything that had happened. Hux activated the holo in the conference table again, projecting the schematics for Starkiller above the surface. They were entirely unmodified, just as they had been when he deleted them. “Enough that I don’t want this to happen. How do we stop it?” He turned to Ren, who was washed blue from the holo. “Should we sabotage it somehow? Make it fail?”

“No.” Anger flashed across Ren’s face, and he began to pace along the edge of the table. “If it’s intentional, Snoke will find out.”

“I can-” He could what? Hux couldn’t even delete the plans in a meaningful way. “He won’t. You know how he’s looking.”

Ren shook his head, growing even more agitated. “I don’t. I would have stopped him from seeing the plans in the first place.”

“You can find out! You’re his apprentice, certainly it can’t be that difficult. We will sabotage it, stop it from firing. There are so many ways for a project to fail… the science, the shielding, the engineering-”

Ren stopped and stared at him, still looking angry. “If you deliberately sabotage it, you will cease to be useful, Hux. And when you aren’t useful as a commander, you will be eliminated. Probably by me, as punishment, because I will still be useful, and Snoke won’t let me go willingly.”

Hux was shocked. “Would you kill me, if Snoke ordered it?”

Ren rolled his shoulders and glanced toward the projection. Every part of him looked angry, but not at Hux. When he turned back, he looked as tired as he had the day before. Resigned.

“Not willingly. But I can use a Force suggestion to make anybody do anything against their will. I don’t think Snoke has ever done it to me, but… he’s strong, Hux. I couldn’t stop him, if he did.”

“Your magic is…” Hux began, but Ren snpped at him, interrupting.

“It isn’t magic, Hux. It’s the power of the Force.”

“Whatever,” Hux waved his hand. “Whatever it is, it’s terrible. I don’t know how to solve this problem, Ren. Isn’t there anything we can do? I already deleted the plans once. Did you stop having that vision, after I deleted them? I never asked. I thought I'd eliminated that future.”

Ren shook his head. “No. I have the same visions. Of us. We’re unhappy, and the First Order is the same as it is now. Worse. We’ve accepted it.”

Hux sighed, running a gloved hand over his hair. He should have asked about this sooner, but…

He closed the distance between them, stripping his gloves and tossing them aside, near the projection of Starkiller. 

Carefully, he took Ren’s hands, removing his gloves as well, then gripping them. They were cold now, his callouses rough against Hux’s soft palms. Steeling himself, he looked into Ren’s sad face.

“Show me.”

* * *

  
_The first thing Hux sensed in the vision was anger - Ren was angry, more furious than he’d been in any other visions. Angrier than Hux had ever been himself. If Hux ever felt this frustratingly impotent and trapped, he would act, and not simply tolerate it. It was as unbearable as everything else Ren felt, though he knew that Ren felt everything_ constantly _._

_Ren was angry with General Hux in this vision, and was approaching him on the bridge of a star destroyer, in front of a full crew. His entire body was tense, his gait very nearly a heavy stomp, and he felt ready to fight. More than a few members of the crew had turned to stare at him, and a few were looking from the corners of their eyes. In the vision, Hux was wearing his general’s uniform, and looked more worn than he did now - tired and pale, though otherwise expressionless in the face of Ren’s public aggression._

_“Where is the map, General?” Ren snapped, seething, knowing that undermining General Hux like this in front of so many others would irritate him. This surprised Hux - Ren cared little about appearances, and as far as Hux knew, avoided public confrontation like this unless he was under orders. What had happened here?_

_“As you have been briefed, the map to Skywalker is on a droid that we are currently tracking.” General Hux’s reply was clipped, cold. It told Hux nothing. Skywalker? Luke Skywalker? Ren’s uncle? Was Ren looking for him?_

_Ren apparently was, because he became even angrier at the name, and believed Hux was intentionally provoking him. “Why are we_ still _tracking it? Recovering an item in a place like Jakku is child’s play. We should have it by now.”_

_“The droid escaped from the village you suppressed, Ren. That would suggest you yourself found it hard to locate.”_

_The rebuke nearly pushed Ren over the edge. Hux was shocked by both General Hux’s willingness to provoke Ren in public, and just how well the provocation worked. This conversation seemed to have no effect on General Hux, but Ren’s thoughts were tipping alarmingly to violence. Violence that General Hux would not survive._

_“I have better things to do than track a droid, General. You do not.”_

_“My soldiers do, Ren, as you are aware. But they are currently assigned to seize or destroy the BB unit that contains the map.”_

_General Hux turned dismissively away, and Ren stepped closer. Intimately close, and inappropriate, but Hux knew that Ren was trying to intimidate, and that there was little he could do to stop him, either in the present or as General Hux, in front of so many witnesses. General Hux did not react, which was the only thing he could do._

_Ren’s anger heightened his sense of the others in the room. Ren had explained this to Hux before, but hadn’t made sense until now. Hux could feel the emotions of the others on the bridge through Ren’s uncanny lens. General Hux seemed to be annoyed, and Ren was growing even angrier that he wasn’t able to push General Hux into a reaction. Others were growing afraid, and Ren was very nearly mocking them in his own thoughts. They weren’t the ones he was angry at, but he might lash out anyway._

_This Ren was nearly a stranger. Hux was shocked. What had happened to him?_

_“The map is useless if it is destroyed, General. I thought that would be obvious.”_

_General Hux, hands clasped behind his back in an attention posture, raised his eyebrows. His reply was quiet, addressed only to Ren, possibly to dampen the impact of going over Ren’s head. “Supreme Leader Snoke was explicit. Capture the droid if we can, but destroy it if we must.”_

_The reminder of Snoke burned. Snoke didn’t care about the map. “How capable are your soldiers, General?”_

_General Hux’s expression hardened incrementally. The soldiers were beyond reproach, and Hux bristled even inside the vision. “I won’t have you question my methods.”_

_Pleased that he’d hit a nerve, Ren continued, his anger abating in favor of petty satisfaction. “They’re obviously skilled at committing high treason. Perhaps the Supreme Leader should consider using a clone army.”_

_High treason? Had one of the Troopers gone against the programming? Impossible. That had never happened. And yet, this conversation seemed to imply otherwise._

_General Hux lost some of his composure, which surprised Hux. It seemed so unlike him to act this way in public, and the slip pleased Ren even more. “My men are exceptionally trained. Programmed from birth.”_

_“Then they should have no problem retrieving the droid. Unharmed.”_

_General Hux stepped in closer, and abruptly quashed the satisfaction that had been trumping Ren’s anger. “Careful, Ren, that your personal interests not interfere with orders from the Supreme Leader.”_

Personal interests _echoed in Ren’s mind, both an insult and something that made Ren sad, coming from Hux. Ren was upset about his own personal interests in a way that was unclear to Hux._

_Recovering himself, Ren stepped in close again, his helmet nearly colliding with General Hux’s expressionless face._ _“I want that map. For your sake, I suggest you get it.”_

_At that, Ren turned and left the bridge, still angry, though not as angry as before. He wanted the map, and was frustrated he’d overlooked it himself. He admonished himself -_ Of course it had been in a BB unit, it sounded like something his mother would have done. Had done. He should have known better. He’d been so sure that Poe-

 _The bridge was silent, and Ren’s thoughts were interrupted by the sudden sound of boots on the durasteel deck of the ship, following him out of the room. Ren grew annoyed at whatever the sound of the boots meant, and thought about ignoring or stopping whatever was about to happen, but lost a war with himself. Whatever this was, he_ wanted _. The footsteps followed him into the lift at the end of the corridor, and he stood, turning, watching General Hux enter the lift silently with him. General Hux specifically didn’t look at Ren. He put his hands behind his back in parade rest as the doors closed in front of his face and the lift began moving._

_Ren was debating whether to follow Hux or to set the pace himself. He seemed to know what General Hux wanted, and was annoyed with himself for tolerating it. The silent exchange was a baffling mystery to Hux - what could possibly be going on here?_

_Abruptly, Ren yanked his own datapad from within his tunic, waving it in front of the lift sensors, stopping it. Hux’s gloved hand reached out with his own code cylinder, ramming it into place and entering a command to disable the security feeds. He turned to Ren with a disgusted look on his face._

_“Do you have so little control? Must you throw tantrums in front of the crew? What happened to the unflappable hero of the First Order?”_

_Hux knew Ren had never liked his status within the First Order, and he liked it even less now. He was tired of living up to someone else’s standards, and wanted what he wanted. He wanted his map, and he wanted to kill his uncle and the ghosts of his past. He wanted to stop feeling angry._

_General Hux’s hands were on his helmet, and Ren allowed him to remove it, to drop it on the ground. To Hux's surprise, he then pinned General Hux to the wall of the lift, kissing him._

_Now? How had Ren's anger boiled over into this? Partially enacting emergency lift protocols to grope each other in the center of a star destroyer? How had Hux allowed this? It was like the first vision Ren had shown him, of the affectionate sex in the sonic, but infinitely worse - Hux hadn't understood what was between them the first time he'd seen that vision. Now, these two angry versions of themselves were even worse, because he knew it wasn't like this. Ren had never been this bad. Ren was satisfying a need, but didn't even seem to want this. And why was Hux doing this? Wasn't Ren's enjoyment the whole point?_

_Ren's gloved hands groping General Hux, ineffectual and frustrating while he was still fully dressed. General Hux’s slim build and soft skin were hidden beneath his tunic, his greatcoat, all the padding he wore now to make himself look important._

_Ren wore no padding, and General Hux’s hands were on his chest, pushing him off, groping. Ren's thoughts at General Hux's simultaneous desire and refusal were nearly spiteful -_ Hux had never known what he wanted _. This made Hux unexpectedly sad. He’d wanted Ren, certainly. Always. Even if he hadn’t always known, or said it aloud. But he could feel his own hands through Ren's thin tunic, and he was pushing away and pinching, even as his own mouth sucked and bit Ren’s wonderful lips. Ren tried to bend in closer, to mouth at the skin between General Hux’s ear and high collar, and General Hux ducked, capturing his mouth again. Ren felt a pinch of pain as General Hux’s teeth closed hard enough on his lower lip to draw blood._

_Ren exhaled in amusement and pulled back, hating himself as he inhaled General Hux’s heavily gelled hair. “Did you need something, General? You’ll have to ask.”_

_“Fuck you,” General Hux responded, even as his hands opened the belt of Ren’s tunic and unbuttoned the suspenders that held his pants underneath._

_Ren stepped back, stripping off his tunic and gloves and tucking them inside his own belt as he watched Hux drop his greatcoat and pants. “Are you prepared for this? It will hurt, General.”_

_“Don’t act like you didn't bring lube, Ren. You’re the one with poor impulse control.”_

_Annoyed, Ren pulled a small bottle of lubricant out of his pocket. Hux was surprised - why would Ren carry that?_

_“You were the one who followed me.”_

_“Because I knew you needed this.”_

_Was Ren… was Ren going to fuck General Hux in the command lift? Was General Hux allowing this? Had General Hux expected this? There were no answers in Ren’s thoughts, which were annoyed and disappointed more than angry. He was also aroused, though not in the way Hux had felt in the other visions. Ren_ wanted, _but it was reluctant, and the feeling didn’t seem related to Hux himself. The realization saddened Hux. Hux recognized the impulse, but it had been some time since he'd felt that way himself. The last time Hux had felt so little, and so impersonal about sex, it had been…_

_With strangers._

_Numbly, he watched General Hux brace himself against the wall, glancing over his shoulder. Ren could sense both annoyance and anticipation from him. Ren knew General Hux needed this too - they no longer slept together, no longer had time or patience for each other._

_It had never been like this between them. In the present, or the visions. The absence of Ren's affection cut Hux keenly, even after he’d so recently believed that Ren had betrayed him. At least betrayal had felt like something. It wasn’t this. A resentful sexual transaction that was both horribly ill-advised and sad._

_As much as Hux had disliked being shown Ren’s visions over the years, Ren’s reactions to Hux’s body were absolutely unforgettable. It was why Hux enjoyed sex with him so much - he knew for a fact that Ren loved nothing better than Hux. Was it selfish of him? It seemed foolish not to realize how special it was, now that he was being confronted with something so different._

_Ren watched clinically as his big fingers disappeared into General Hux’s ass, was almost detached from sensation as he worked in and out quickly, added a second, then a third. There was no thought as to whether General Hux was enjoying it, and from what Hux could tell, he wasn’t - he wanted Ren’s cock, and he wanted to leave. He was busy._

_Ren obliged him. He was hard enough by the time he’d decided General Hux could take his cock, and he slicked himself mostly-hard and pushed inside without preamble, without a noise from either of them. General Hux was tight, and it took longer than it should have, which was annoying for both of them. Neither was used to sex anymore. Ren pulled out, then watched as the tip of his cock breached General Hux’s ass, the feeling of it hot and slick and entirely unsatisfying. Ren wrapped his hand around General Hux’s waist, then wiped his other on his own tunic to get a better grip as he pushed in harder. General Hux tensed around him, impatient. He wanted to get off, and he wanted to leave._

_He pulled out slower than he intended. He told himself to go faster, that would feel better for both of them. But he couldn’t, and a feeling of despair grew, even as he was inside General Hux, trying to wring pleasure from both of them. Ren admonished himself, telling himself that this was not what he wanted, nor needed. Ren used to like this, and now it only made him sad, even as he still wanted General Hux._

_Ren fucked General Hux harder, trying to make it feel good. General Hux reached down to his own cock and began jerking himself, also angry at the interaction. Ren was growing more worried that he wouldn’t be able to come, and if that happened, General Hux would be cruel. He closed his eyes and leaned into General Hux’s hair, inhaling again. He tried to remember the first time he’d seen Hux, the person he’d seen in visions, the person he knew was his._

_The thought made both Ren and Hux even more depressed, even as the scent of General Hux’s hair and the remembered fondness pushed Ren over the edge of an orgasm. Hastily, he pulled himself out and reached down to hide his expression behind his helmet, even before tucking himself away. Ren was about to cry, and he didn’t want General Hux to see him._

_This was almost as awful as the Starkiller vision, in its way. The fact that Ren could make Hux feel worse about this than the deaths of billions was something Hux didn’t want to confront about himself. He pushed the thought away, telling himself that it was just a vision, that Ren was standing in front of him and didn’t feel this way. This wouldn’t happen. Hux wouldn’t let it. He could at least do that._

_General Hux finished jerking himself off, barely pausing before he drew out a handkerchief to clean himself. Ren tucked himself away and pulled his tunic back on over his helmet. He pulled his gloves on next, his hands still sticky, but he didn’t care. Shame and sorrow burned inside him as he watched General Hux square himself away, his body language and clothing completely free of anything that had just passed between them. General Hux glared at him, but said nothing as he set his coat back around his shoulders and enabled the lift again, turning the security controls back on._

_They finished the ride to the main deck in complete silence. General Hux’s emotions had retreated from Ren’s ability to sense them, and Ren watched him step off the lift and disappear, doubtless on some sort of trajectory back to the command deck, after having been interrupted by Ren._

_Ren stepped into the hallway, and his rage came back. He turned, making his way to his training quarters, the mental image of destroying everything in them playing over and over again._

_Ren wanted to be something different. He did not want to be the thing everyone told him he was - his parents, Snoke, the First Order. But he’d somehow failed at becoming who he wanted to be - powerful, a master of the Force and himself, able to do as he wished. He didn't even have anything to work for, no goals or achievements for himself, other than the death of Luke Skywalker. He couldn't do anything right._

_Hux was astonished, even as he felt the thoughts play through Ren’s mind. How had this happened? Was the interaction Hux had witnessed part of their co-command? Did they not agree on command decisions? That seemed impossible. They were suited to one another. Personally, and in the type of work they did. What goals did Ren lack in life? What did he want to be, that he couldn’t reach out and take for himself? How had it come to this?_

_Ren’s overwhelming, dizzying love for Hux was completely absent from this vision. It had brought him happiness in the others, even during the firing of Starkiller. But Ren seemed to take no pleasure whatsoever from whatever future this was. Why? Ren did what he liked, and took what he liked from their relationship, and seemed satisfied enough. Would that stop? Could it stop? Was there something Hux had done to push him away?_

_The vision faded before Ren reached his workout suite, switching to an entirely new moment in time. The shift in Ren’s emotion jerked at Hux’s awareness, making him feel that uncanny sense of sickness that his body couldn’t react to._

_Ren was suddenly opening his eyes, his thoughts muddied and indistinct at first. He was fatigued, aching, and extremely injured. Confused, but also triumphant. He thought he had died, which Hux found alarming. What had nearly killed Ren? That seemed impossible, as did the pain Ren was pushing down - he had a pain in his face and shoulder, burning but muted, like a fresh injury that had been treated. The facial pain was peculiar, but Ren could see out of both eyes as he blinked up at the ceiling of a tall chamber, the smell of smoke and ozone and blood stinging his nostrils. The ache in his side was more disconcerting, Hux thought, excruciating and nearly immobilizing him, though Ren was pushing that down as well and telling himself to sit up. He had more mild aches in his arms and thighs, and Hux could feel burns elsewhere, though everything else paled in comparison to whatever had happened to his face and side._

_When he sat up, he spotted General Hux staring at him from across the room. Ren was aware that everyone else in the room was dead, and seemed unaffected by the chaos around them. Hux couldn’t quite sense what Ren was taking no notice of, but they were in a grand room that had been utterly destroyed, with fire and armored bodies visible around Ren. They were on a starship, judging by the hum and feel of the deck, though Hux had never seen a room like this one aboard a First Order vessel._

_Ren ignored whatever had clearly just happened in the room, but he was very much affected by the sight of General Hux. Hux was horrified by the wave of anger that swept through Ren, and at the assumption he made that General Hux was about to kill him when his eyes fell to General Hux’s hand on his blaster, partially hidden beneath his greatcoat._

_Worse, Hux couldn’t really be sure that this version of General Hux hadn’t meant to shoot Ren while he was unconscious. Was it the same man that Hux had just seen on the lift? That General Hux seemed to have no feelings at all for Ren, aside from animosity. But it was difficult to believe there was a future version of himself that would shoot Ren dead. Perhaps General Hux hadn't been sure that all the bodies in the room were fully dead._

_General Hux quickly drew his hand from his blaster when Ren noticed him, which did not bode well._

_It made Hux sick, how horrified he was at the thought of killing Ren. He didn’t think he could do it, even to save his own life. Ren would never kill him. He slowly realized that the betrayal he’d imagined from Ren in the High Command conference room was even more misplaced, and horribly unfair to Ren. And he was realizing, with more and more certainty, that Ren would never betray him, despite what these visions showed him._

_It hadn’t been Ren that betrayed him, but the First Order. Something that Ren had warned him of since they’d first met._

_“It was the girl,” Ren barked, pushing himself to standing and ignoring the pain and dizziness that threatened to drop him again. “She killed Snoke, then stole a ship to escape. We must recover her. Send the armies to find her. We need to finish this.”_

_General Hux seemed as confused as Hux - what girl? Hux could see that Ren was lying, and didn’t seem to care. He believed General Hux would try to prosecute him for killing Snoke._

_Killing Snoke? Why would General Hux hold that against Ren? The xeno had no right to hold any power over Kylo Ren. With the xeno gone, and Ren taking over as his apprentice, they could do as they wished with the First Order. It would be a victory for both of them._

_“Finish this? Who do you think you’re talking to? You presume to command my army,” General Hux replied scathingly, the venom of his response utterly misplaced and unbelievable. He stepped closer, his gaze sweeping over the chamber, his expression twisting. “The Supreme Leader is dead. We have no ruler.”_

Snoke was right _, Ren thought to himself, despair and anger washing over him again. Ren believed that General Hux was seizing power, something that Snoke had warned him about repeatedly, should leadership fall into Ren’s hands._

_Before Hux could process that particular bit of backstabbing, Ren reacted almost without thought, the Force roiling through him in the uncanny, foreign way Hux had learned to identify. Ren pushed his anger into the feeling, and with one gesture of his hand, he had General Hux by the throat, choking him, seething with rage._

_“The Supreme Leader is dead,” Ren parroted back. He wanted to add to General Hux’s humiliation by blaming him for the failure of Starkiller, for the explosion that had destroyed it a day after it had been successfully fired. General Hux’s greatest accomplishment, his grand ideas about seizing peace with such a monstrosity had been for nothing, and he had merely killed billions._ General Hux _had killed billions of people._

_The only thing that stopped Ren’s tongue was his belief that Starkiller had failed because of him, and that General Hux knew that and wouldn’t be affected by the lie. Snoke had already humiliated Ren earlier for his failure at Starkiller, and Ren didn’t wish to hear it again._

Starkiller fell _? Starkiller lasted only a day, after eliminating an entire system?_

_Part of Hux was relieved that it would never be fired again, even in the visions. But the failure was astonishing - after all that, after all those deaths, Starkiller couldn’t even last a day as the threat Hux had originally intended it to be? It had been eliminated that quickly? That easily?_

_Just like the Death Stars, he supposed. He grew more certain about the need to end the project. To end all of this. Ren’s rage, the way they’d somehow become alienated from one another. Hux wanted to stop the power Snoke had over Ren. Perhaps that had played a part in their separation, as Snoke had clearly tried to turn Ren against him. Hux would have used the same tactic, if he saw two potentially dangerous enemies getting too close._

_Fear and shame both stayed Ren’s tongue from gloating further over the pinned General Hux, emotions that Hux hardly believed that Ren had the capacity to feel. Why would he? What did Ren have to be ashamed of? And his heart sank as he felt his own struggles through Ren, General Hux’s shock and anger and confusion. Ren still couldn’t tell if General Hux had meant to kill him while he lied unconscious on the floor._

_“Long live the Supreme Leader,” General Hux finally repeated, and Ren dropped him to the floor, turned, and left the chamber._

_Ren told himself that this was what he had wanted, to take Snoke’s place. He was now the undisputed Supreme Leader of the First Order. The only person who could have laid any sort of claim to his power was General Hux, and Ren had put a quick stop to that. But the victory was a hollow one, because Ren did want to share his power with General Hux. Not with the way things were between them now, though. He couldn’t trust Hux. He_ wanted _, he wanted what they’d had before. Not Hux’s body, but their relationship._

_The vision faded, and Hux begged Ren with all the power of his thoughts to stop it there, to let him back into the present. He needed to see Ren in the flesh, to confirm that these visions weren’t real, to shake the awful things that this version of Ren felt. He wanted to reassure both himself and Ren that it wasn’t like this, that it would never be like this._

_But the visions continued in brief snatches. Hux saw Ren fighting an older Luke Skywalker. He should have been no threat, except Ren was distracted by his rage and anger, by General Hux trying to stop him, by the idea that he wanted this one thing, to eliminate the last twenty members of the Resistance, and couldn’t. Cruelly, Skywalker vanished in front of him, and Ren realized it was a distraction to let the Resistance escape. Not a real fight at all, but Luke preying on his weakness, stopping Ren’s own First Order. In the moment, Ren didn’t want the First Order, or anything at all but for the rage to end._

_Another vision, this time lacking the reality of the others - the sense, and the sight of Sheev Palpatine telling Ren to come find him, that he could give Ren all the power in the world._

_Ren didn’t trust him. Ren didn’t trust Snoke. In the vision, Ren explains to General Hux that they will find the path to Palpatine anyway. General Hux argues with him, but Ren believes this vision of Emperor Palpatine is trying to snatch power away and keep Ren from being who he needs to be. Like Snoke did before. Like Palpatine had before. If he kills Palpatine again -_

_It was the most awful, impossible thing about the vision, and it made Hux doubt the rest of it. Was Palpatine still alive? Truly? Would he prey on Ren in the future? Ren’s visions had already been proven several times over to be true, but Ren’s thoughts were growing increasingly more erratic and less stable in the vision. Perhaps he was only delusional, and this part wasn’t true._

_But it would be awful if it was._

_The rest of the patchy vision was also awful, and Hux wondered if the erratic snatches he was seeing now were a reflection of this future version of Ren’s deteriorating mental state. Ren’s logic grew increasingly terrible. Ren was almost constantly angry, and never thinking clearly. The Force, the sense of it that had usually been a sensation Hux could barely detect in the back of Ren’s mind, nearly overwhelmed him now. It encroached on every thought, and Ren didn’t seem able to push it back. Ren_ wanted _, but he no longer trusted General Hux, who tried to reason with Ren, to talk him out of bad decisions. To Ren, General Hux was clearly trying to kill him and take the First Order. Hux couldn’t tell if that was true, either._

_Ren eventually found former Galactic Emperor Sheev Palpatine. Palpatine, horribly, was alive and very real, and told Ren of a secret fleet and a path Ren could follow to power over the entire galaxy. It was the kind of clear goal that Ren craved, and it burned in his awareness as a way to make everything stop. All Ren needed to do for Palpatine in return was find the Scavenger and kill her._

_Ren didn't believe the reanimated corpse of Palpatine about the girl’s death granting him what he wanted. But he did believe he and the girl could defeat Palpatine together with the Force, and Ren could simply take everything after. He just had to make the girl see._

_Hux watched as Ren had General Hux killed by the head officer of Palpatine’s fleet. Awfully, the news of General Hux’s death triggered only a memory - Hux asking why Snoke would make him kill his family himself. Hux had asked Ren why it mattered if they were dead, if he no longer cared for them. Hux remembered that too. It had happened just as the Ren in the vision remembered. It made everything else even more awful, the link to Hux's own solid past and memories._

_In the vision, Ren reminded himself that he no longer cared about General Hux, that he hadn’t for a long time. But he still_ wanted _, and he had been weak to General Hux’s suggestions that he stop. He'd also been weak to the idea of Hux as a distraction, that they could simply go back to how things had been before. Ren couldn’t bring himself to kill Hux, so he’d had Allegiant General Pryde do it for him. General Hux had apparently gone behind Ren’s back to try and stop him after his own suggestions had failed. General Hux had gone to the remnants of the Resistance to bring down the First Order, after it had merged with Palpatine’s fleet and become unrecognizable._

_After General Hux's death, Ren remembered that he'd believed the First Order had gone wrong a long time ago, and had wanted to stop it then._

_Hux got a vague sense that this future version of Ren had managed to kill his father, and that killing Hux had felt the same way. Pointless._ _It made everything worse._

_Ren believed that the Scavenger didn’t understand how powerful they could be together, that they could stop Palpatine and rule the galaxy. She didn’t want it, like Ren did. And if Ren didn’t have it, what did the rest of it matter? There was nothing else for him._

_He fought Palpatine with her anyway. And he gave his life to her, because he didn’t want it anymore, after he’d ruined everything. He’d rather be One with the Force, with Hux._

* * *

  
The vision ended after the vague sense of Ren’s mystical Force death. Hux opened his eyes to the conference room, staring into Ren’s eyes, Ren’s calloused hand cold against the side of his face. Ren was trembling slightly, and they were both breathing hard. They were also both alive, and none of what Hux had just seen was real. 

Hux didn’t know what to make of that vision. Of any of it.

“How can you stand that?” He asked, to break the long silence that was stretching between them. It wasn’t enough of a question, because that last vision had been _a lot_. Hux wanted to know how Ren could stand seeing a future that was so grim? How could he bear something so impossible as the appearance of Palpatine, knowing that could be real? How could he stand a version of himself that was so haunted and unhappy? How could he stand seeing their relationship simply end?

Ren shrugged. “The visions happen whether I like it or not. I’m used to it.”

Hux looked away, to an indistinct point over Ren’s shoulder, trying to gather his thoughts. “How can you stand feeling that angry? Knowing that all of that could happen to you, and you may not be able to stop it?”

Ren took a step back, then began pacing. “I use anger to fuel my power. I'm used to it. It…” he glanced over at Hux, pausing for a moment. “It just means that I’m stronger in the Force. It’s what I want.”

“You want that?”

Ren glanced at the projection of Starkiller, still over the table, then at the empty seat where Snoke’s projection had been. “No. I don't.”

“Is that…” Hux almost couldn’t stand to look at him. He turned to the Starkiller projection, the future he’d tried to change and couldn’t. “Will it happen? I mean, are your visions ever any different, or will they always come true?”

Ren was silent. Hux continued, finally looking at him, anger sharpening his voice. “Are we just meant to die? Miserably, after having ruined everything?”

“Yes,” Ren answered flatly, still not looking at Hux.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Hux was furious. “Why didn’t you tell me before now, so we could have stopped this? Before I-”

Hux wanted to believe it would have been different, if he’d known before he’d been appointed to Starkiller. But when? Before Hux had accepted any of it? Before Hux had accepted Ren’s visions as true, and before Hux had accepted the idea that he could make a difference? Before Hux knew he would be forced to pointlessly kill billions of people in an unspeakable act of cruelty, after toiling for years to do it?

Before he’d fallen in love with Ren. Before he’d believed that was possible.

Ren turned back to him, furious again. “Why didn’t I say anything? About the fact that I could see the future? That the First Order was on track to become a galactic oppressor that would make the Empire look fair? Why didn’t I tell you that what we were doing was wrong, and were getting worse?” Ren looked away, walking over to a wall and pausing before it. Hux was reminded of his rages from the vision, of the unquenchable anger that fueled his powers.

“I did. I said something. You didn’t believe me.”

“Okay.” Hux reminded himself that Ren was speaking the truth. It was still hard to trust him, and to believe that the First Order couldn’t be changed. That… Sheev Palpatine wasn’t dead, and would wind up killing them both. But the High Command meeting, with Starkiller’s plans recovered from Hux’s own personal files locked down as tightly as he could make them, was a sobering prelude to Ren's visions. It was a violation that Hux couldn't justify, and it had happened right in front of him.

If he couldn’t have that kind of privacy, if there was someone working to turn Hux's discarded ideas into atrocities, what did he owe the First Order? How could he make a difference, when they’d engineered the hierarchy to crush nonconformists without a second thought?

“The First Order is all I have,” Hux managed. “If it doesn’t work, Ren, what am I to do? Can we kill Snoke now? Can we stop this from happening?” He gestured weakly to the projection of Starkiller, glancing suspiciously around the room. Were they being recorded, even now? Had that always been the case?

Ren’s expression hardened. “You don’t have the First Order. What you saw, that’s what the First Order is now. What it will be, if we stay. But... what you asked earlier. It's not always the same. I’ve seen other visions. Attempts to-” He stopped, closing his eyes briefly, then opening them. “To change things. The visions I just showed you are the ones where we survive the longest.”

The thought that Ren had held back things that were _worse_ made Hux nearly weak. He put a hand to a chair to steady himself, thinking over the visions again. The firing of Starkiller, the vision of their deaths, what Snoke had done to Ren. 

“It can’t happen,” Hux agreed, looking up to Ren, his features still washed in the blue of the Starkiller projection. “What do we do, then? We need to stop it. How do we do that?”

Ren hesitated, his gaze flicking in agitation around the chamber, resting on his helmet a moment before returning to Hux’s face. His brown eyes, dark and angry, burned through Hux again, and Hux knew he wouldn’t like what Ren was about to say. 

“Every vision I’ve had, it’s been of the First Order. I’ve never seen us do anything else. I’ve seen us try… everything.”

“What’s everything?” Hux asked calmly. There was no _everything_. There was always something else.

“Don’t make me-” Ren raised his voice, then shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to think about it. The only thing I haven’t seen us do is leave.”

“Leave?”

"Yeah." Ren's voice got defensive. "I've seen myself arguing with you about it, but we never do it. I can never convince you."

The idea felt like a slap across the face. He glanced down at his new rank stripes, then around the High Command chamber. It was everything he’d ever wanted. He had all the power he needed to do whatever he wished. Ren’s visions had shown him at the top of the Order, though failing at it. Still. “Leave and do what? Join another military organization? Submit my resume, tell them I can be their new general and train their soldiers?”

“You’re doing it again,” Ren accused, stepping forward, fists clenched at his sides. “I’m telling you what I know. I’ve seen everything else.” Ren shook his head, his dark hair fanning out around his face, the muscles in his jaw going tight for a moment before he continued. “Either you believe me, or you don’t.”

Hux huffed. “This is different! I can’t just-” _leave_. He couldn’t. What would he even do? It wasn’t just a matter of the power he wielded here, or his skills. Hux had never known anything else. How would he even get out of bed in the morning?

Ren closed the distance between them, laying his fingers against Hux’s temple again. Hux flinched back, not wanting to see any other visions, but Ren’s other hand fell like a vise on his shoulder, holding him in place. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, then opened them, his expression softer.

“You’d wake up next to me,” he said aloud, as if Hux had asked something so ridiculous aloud. Before Hux could reprimand him, Ren continued, pushing his words out.

“I've seen you make these arguments before. I know why you don't want to leave. You won't, because you're scared."

Hux bristled. "I'm not afraid-"

Ren continued, cutting him off. "I could help you. We’d be together, we just wouldn’t be here. I know how to-” His eyes shifted away, then back, and he looked more sure of himself. “My father was a smuggler. I know how to get us ships, new identities, residencies wherever we need to go. No one will look for us.”

“ _No one will look for us_? You are Kylo Ren! You don’t think Snoke will miss you? Not to mention I know every single-” he paused, closing his eyes briefly, then continuing, “nearly every secret the First Order has. I would be recovered and executed, at best. They would probably capture you and give you the kind of loyalty programming we reserve for- for the most reluctant recruits.”

Ren’s expression twitched, almost a smile. Hux knew how it sounded, now that they were recruiting and brainwashing against the will of the individual. He’d told himself it was necessary. The First Order's needs were growing, and the programs along with it. They needed bodies. Hux had developed the new programming himself, along with his father. It was one more thing that Hux had told himself was necessary in the moment, but would change later. But it never would. It never had.

His resolve was weakening, and Ren knew it. Ren smirked, a sad cast still on his features. “Do they execute deserters? I thought there weren’t any.”

There weren’t. Not in a long time. Not since they’d developed the standard base loyalty conditions. The only reason Hux was even contemplating this escape was because he hadn’t been brainwashed himself - Brendol’s son, who’d been subjected to the earlier, Imperial loyalty experiments, had been the only survivor. Any new recruits, and any Imperial cadets they’d rescued under the age of twelve had been subjected to it. Any ex-Imperial officer was considered loyal enough, since they’d returned to the Order willingly. They hadn’t had a deserter in over twenty years. They bragged about it constantly in the props.

“If we leave,” Ren pushed, and he was far more intense than Hux had ever seen him. He’d been forceful, when they’d first met - he’d had to be, or Hux would have ignored him. But he'd never really been able to ignore Kylo Ren. “We won’t develop the weapon. You won’t be here to coordinate the research, or to see that it gets done. You won’t run the training program while you do it. And they won’t have me to recruit, or suppress the villages. None of it will happen. The First Order will stagnate, and it will die in Wild Space without any of its goals realized.”

The goals were good ones, and worth striving for. But with a pang, Hux realized that wasn’t what they were doing anymore, weren’t something they’d done for a long time.

“They can’t replace you. They can easily replace me. There are numerous people that would step up to control the Stormtrooper program. And all my research for the weapon was there.”

“It’s yours, though. Without your ambition, the weapon falls apart, the vanity project of someone who doesn’t care for it like you do.”

Hux clenched his jaw. It sounded too good to be true. It was impossible, because the First Order had always made its individuals replaceable. Hux was hardly an outstanding member himself, just a clever one that knew how to survive.

“You are an outstanding member. Starkiller was yours,” Ren prodded, his fingers still against Hux’s temple, still reading his thoughts.

Hux stepped back, away from Ren’s hands and his intensity, and just stared at him. He turned to regard the projection of Starkiller, then stepped forward, pushing one of his code cylinders into a socket to bring up the rest of the data. It was all there, all his goals for engineering, technology, and research. What he wanted to do, and the timelines from those he’d had researching the possibilities to completion.

Every bit of information had been stolen from his personal files. Anyone could take it and follow through.

But maybe Ren was right. Maybe Ren had been right all along. He thought of the visions, and realized he had two options. He could trust Ren's belief that they had to leave, based on visions that were too awful to show Hux. Or he could stay, and fix it himself from inside the First Order.

Step one would be to make the Starkiller program vanish, to somehow wipe it from the memories of everyone at High Command. To make it go away as if it had never existed.

Except he'd already done that once.

He blanked the screen, his hand shaking as he withdrew his code cylinder, then turned back to Ren.

“I trust your judgment," He said, his voice steady, belying the awful, clenching pain in his stomach. Every part of him wanted to stop what he was saying. But it needed to be said. "You’ve been right. And I love you.” Hux held Ren’s gaze, and watched his expression shift into shock. Ren hadn’t been expecting that, but Hux had been nearly bursting with it, ever since seeing the two of them on the lift in the vision.

He quickly moved on. “Tell me how we do it. How are we to desert?”

Ren’s shock was replaced by a smirk, and he closed the distance between them again. He kissed Hux, and it was like the vision - rough, with teeth and tongues, Ren’s hot mouth on his. His hands found Ren’s waist, and Ren squeezed Hux’s arms in his own overly-large hands. 

When Ren pulled back, he was still smiling, looking so much less tired and angry. Hux missed seeing it.

“We just leave. There’s no reason for them to stop us.”

Hux blinked. “Just… right now?”

“Yeah. In my Upsilon. Let’s go.”

Ren grabbed his helmet, placing it back over his head to hide his pleased expression. Then, he left the chamber. Yonathan Tal’s body was still cooling on the floor, run through by Ren’s lightsaber. Hux watched Ren's back through the entrance for a moment, then scrambled to catch up.

“We can’t just… _go_ ,” Hux hissed, his eyes darting around the hall. “I’ve not prepared for it.”

“What do you need? All you care about is work. Is there anything in your room to take with you?” 

There were the training routines, the ones Phasma needed to oversee, and they needed to be analyzed. They needed to perfect the swamp terrain techniques against the Kontarians. They needed to finesse the flametrooper units, do some culling and adjusting. They needed to review the loyalty programming, because if Hux could leave, who else would?

“You’re only thinking about work,” Ren interrupted, his voice mechanical and modulated through his helmet.

“You can’t tell,” Hux snapped. “You said you can’t read my thoughts like that.

“I know you.”

Hux forced his mind to his quarters. His father’s suite, which he’d been so happy to have to himself, and to share with Ren. They’d be sharing other quarters now. Was there anything in the suite he needed?

His most-treasured possession was his new general’s greatcoat, which was over his shoulders. Hux wasn’t a sentimental man, and didn’t believe in possessions. He had his palm-coded blaster and his monomolecular blades on him.

He had Ren.

He clapped his hand over the front of his uniform, where he kept his code cylinders. One used to belong to his father, and wasn’t a code cylinder at all - it was a private bank account with a large fortune stored outside the First Order network. It also contained the launch codes to several yachts Brendol had confiscated from former Imperial personnel, and kept. The Order knew of three of them, which belonged to Hux now. Brendol had several more in storage in various ports around the galaxy.

It was all he needed. It nearly made him laugh, that he’d inherited what he'd needed to desert from his useless father.

“I have everything,” Hux answered crisply, speeding his steps to match Ren. The coat, the money, Ren. They walked side-by-side to the aft hangar bay. Ren’s access to his Upsilon would get them well clear of the _Absolution_. They’d be gone by the time they were missed. There were so many places to hide in the galaxy. Ren knew the Force, and Huix trusted him to keep them safe from anyone that would seek Ren out. Ren was stronger than he knew, at least in the visions. Hux would be happy to remind him of it.

And now that he’d made the decision, he liked the idea of letting the Order die. It appealed to him, the same way killing his cruel father had.

“Let’s go.”


End file.
